OPINION
Neljraskan
Friday, March 18,1994
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Jeremy Fitzpatrick
Rainbow Rowell .
Adeana Left in. . .
Todd Cooper.
JeJfZeleny.
Sarah Duey.
William Lauer . . . .
.Editor. 472-1766
Opinion Rage Editor
.Managing Editor
.Sports Editor
Associate News Editor
Arts & Entertainment Editor
.Senior Photographer
“This team, as far as I’m concerned, at the
moment, is the best basketball team that I’ve ever
coached. ”
— Nebraska basketball coach Danny Nee, after the
Cornhuskers beat Oklahoma State to win their first Big Eight
* tournament championship.
“Our team plays on the edge. Unfortunately we
reacted the wrong way."
— Nee, after Nebraska’s 90-80 first-round loss to Penn. m
“I ’m not begging for mercy. I personally will be
paying the fines — not VISION. Please try and be
lenient. ”
— Andrew Loudon, ASUN president-elect, asking tor leniency
from ASUN’s electoral commission for campaign violations by his
“I guess Loudon whined enough that he wasn 't
responsible and screamed ignorance. That’s never
been an excuse, but I guess they bought it
tonight. ’’
— J.B. Howell, one of Loudon's opponents in the election.
VISION party
“The joke is on you. Stop causing a problem at
UNL or we re going to boot you out. HA HA.”
— Part of an anonymous letter delivered to women faculty
members in the University of Nebraska-Lmcoln College of
Business Administration.
“There’s nothing in the hazing law that will
induce prosecutors to go soft on college boys. ”
— Sen. Gerald Matzke of Sidney, sponsor of LB1129, a bill that
would make hazing illegal. Sen. Ernie Chambers opposed parts of
the bill because he said they favored rich people over poor
people.
“I don’t know.”
— Olympic figure skater Tonya Harding, after a judge asked
her if she suffered from any emotional or psychological problems.
Harding pled guilty Wednesday to conspiring to hinder prosecution
in the attack on Olympic figure skater Nancy Kerrigan.
“Tonya was made to be a pro wrestler. She’s
about as tough as they come, and she’ll last a lot
longer in our sport than she will in figure skating. ”
— Takashi Matsu nag a, chairman of the All Women's Wrestling
Association, talking about his intention to sign Tonya Harding to a
professional wrestling contract with his Japanese league.
“I know my kids. I know the things that went on
around there. I feel very sure It happened."
— Vada Bjorklund, mother of convicted murderer Roger
Bjorklund, testifying he was sexually abused by his stepfather.
“It is a shame polar bears can’t hunt, so we
could have a reciprocal agreement to have them
come to America and shoot at wealthy Americans
just for sport. ”
— Rep. Arthur Ravenal, R-S.C., opposing a bill that would
allow American hunters to return home with the hides of polar
bears bagged in Canada.
“I want to urge my Republican friends, and those
Democrats who are participating, to get off his
back and let him be president."
— Barry Goldwater, 1964 Republican nominee for president,
encouraging the country to let Whitewater be.
I Dl loKl \l I’m |< \
StafT editorials represent the official policy of the Spring 1994 Daily Nebraskan Policy is set
by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board Editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the
university, its employees, the students or the NU Board of Regents. Editorial columns represent
the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan They establish the UNL
Publications Board to supervise the daily production of the paper. According to policy set by
the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of
its students
I I I 11 It l’< )| |< \
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.11 SPIN FIRESTONE
Weathermen hog tornado fun
The back of my hand was really
itchy the other day, so I
scratched it. I discovered the
itch was caused by an insect bite. I’m
not sure what kind of insect it was that
bit me, but I’m positive this bite was
the first of the year for me. The only
way to interpret this insect bite is to
see it as the coming of spring.
Yes, an insect bite and a look at my
calendar tells me that spring has fi
nally arrived. Birds are singing, trees
arc blooming, and snow is nowhere to
be found. Yet nothing quite typifies
what spring means to me more than
thunderstorms and tornadoes.
Did you know more tornadoes are
spawned in “tornado alley” than in
any other place in the world? Did you
know that Lincoln is smack-dab in the
middle of“tornado alley?” Well, now
you know.
While tornado season is the most
exciting time of the year, weathermen
keep insisting that danger lurks every
time a storm cell develops. Just when
Oprah begins to get interesting, they
interrupt her with a high-pitched alarm
and say, “HEAD FOR SHELTER
IMMEDIATELY.”
After they warn you about the tor
nado approaching, they leave the stu
dio and chase alter it in their little
“weatherman vans” so they can have
footage for their safety-tip films. They
tell everyone to head for shelter be
cause they don’t want any traffic on
the streets while they race at break
neck speeds to find the tornado.
They also remind everyone that
cars can’t outrun tornadoes, so people
had better pull olT to the side of the
road and hide in ditches. Again, the
weathermen say this because they’re
chasing the tornadoes and they don’t
want any cars in their way.
Why else would they say that a car
can’t outrun a tornado and then go
chasing after one? It’sobvious they’re
lying, or else they’d never have foot
age of any tornadoes for their safety
After they warn you about the
tornado approaching, they leave
the studio and chase after it in
their little “weatherman vans’* so
they can have footage for their
safety-tip films. _
tip films.
During the time weathermen arc
out chasing tornadoes, we poor simple
folk arc hanging out in dark ditches or
bleak basements until the weather
men give us the all-clear signal to
leave our shelters. I ask, why should
we let the weathermen make this life
and-dcath decision for us when they
often don’t even get the next day’s
forecast right? Plus, they don’t even
know which basement or ditch you’re
in, so how can they be sure your
particular house is safe from the tor
nado?
Another thing weathermen do that
bothers me is flash the Doppler radar
on my television. This in and of itself
isn’t what bothers me; it’s the way
Lincoln is abbreviated on the radar
screen.
I’m not sure who decides this, but
for some strange reason the city of
Lincoln is abbreviated “LNK.” Did
some Grand Pooh-bah Weatherman
in the sky get appointed the task of
abbreviating cities however he saw
fit? When I saw “LNK,” 1 didn’t know
if it stood for “link” or “lank.” Maybe
it stands for “lunkhead,” the person in
charge of radar abbreviations.
Where dothey teach this method of
abbreviation anyway? They most I ikely
teach abbreviating in a special weath
erman class abbrcviatcd“ME AT 101”
for “Meteorology 101 .’’There’s prob
ably a prerequisite course that teaches
you to be a bad comedian when you’re
giving forecasts.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my
chest, it’s time for some tornado tips I
have for you to remember during the
next tornado warning.
First, when you hear the warning
announcement, leave your house and
get into your car. There shouldn’t be
too much traffic, so you can go ahead
and speed until you find a “weather
man van.” Then follow him until he
finds the tornado, get some film foot
age of it and sell it to CNN. You can
make much more money when you’re
outside chasing tornadoes than when
you’re inside waiting for the all-clear
signal to be given.
Second, if you’re on foot in a park
when the warning is announced, there
are a few places where you shouldn’t
go for shelter. Don’t seek shelter in a
/xx), a mental hospital, a nuclear power
plant, a chemical factory, a cemetery,
a natural gas mine, or the natural
tornado magnet, a trailer park. If you
seek shelter in any of these places,
you’re in real danger if a tornado does
hit.
Third, if you’re an amateur knife
thrower, a tornado warning is not the
time for practice. As a matter of fact,
it’s a pretty good rule of thumb to not
practice whenever there’s any high
gust of wind whatsoever.
Finally, don ’ 11 isten to those wealh- f
crmcn. When you’re chasing after the
tornadoes with them, make sure to cut
them off. You may not be able to
outrun a tornado, but at least you can
outrun the weathermen.
Firettoae it a tophoaiore ecoaoatkt ma
jor and a Dally Nebraska! columalst.
I i 111 us m mi I m mu
Farrakhan
There arc a few things Kimberly
Spurlock should know about Louis
Farrakhan before she supports him as
a great leader. In her column (DN,
March 10, 1994), she acknowledged
Farrakhan was under attack for mak
ing bigoted comments. These com
ments come straight from his ideol
ogy
Farrakhan believes in the teach
i ngs ofE lijah Muham mad, who proph
esied that a giant flying saucer would
swoop down on the earth and destroy
all whites as a sort of Armageddon.
Farrakhan also has close ties with
Moammar Gadhafi, who supposedly
ftavc the Nation oflslam a $5 million
oan. In 1985, Farrakhan arranged for
Gadhafi to speak in Chicago to a
gathering of Nation of Islam mem
bers. In his speech, Gadhafi ofTcred to
provide weapons to any blacks who
would participate in a revolt against
the U.S. government.
It seems to me that Farrakhan is
more of a religious zealot who could
be compared to the likes of David
Koresh than he is a concerned leader
of the black community. Islam is a
fine religion, and it should not be
tarnished by radical factions who bc
I ieve in flying saucers and the destruc
tion of another race.
Though, as Spurlock said.
Farrakhan does have many respect
able qualities, she should realize where
he stands.
Steve Savarda
junior
international affairs