v 111\ I > l) \ \
Life is more than ‘one thing’
he Lincoln Journal-Star
doesn’t claim to have “all the
news that’s fit to print” as the
New York Times does, but sometimes
I wonder about what I read in it.
Though I usually confine myself to the
sports section and the front page, I
dissected the entire paper Saturday.
It was full of the usual stuff like
weddings, play reviews and advice
columns. Just when I was ready to
conclude the local paper wasn’t worth
the effort to read, one headline caught
my eye: “Car filled with trash and rats
scares schoolchildren.”
Last week in Cincinnati, a group of
little girls came across a car. When
they looked in its back window, they
began screaming in horror. Amidst
the jam-packed garbage in the vehi
cle, several rats had made their homes.
Apparently, the sight of the vermin
scurrying about the trash was more
frightening to the girls than the car’s
owner, Maria Grueter.
I initially laughed at this story,
pondering what articles the paper cut
to make room for this earth-shattering
news. However, I soon began wonder
ing about Grueter, who made the trash
filled vehicle her home
When the pol ice found her, she was
sent to the hospital and then placed in
the custody of a relative. Why would
someone live in a car with so much
trash that fitting into the driver’s seat
was a contortionist’s nightmare?
According to Curley from the mov
ie “City Slickers,” the meaning of life
is just “one thing.” Each person has to
find theirown “one thing.” After that,
nothing else matters. Grueter was a
teacher. Once she retired, she began
living in her car and became a true
pack rat, afraid to throw away any
thing from the past. Maybe when she
retired, she lost the meaning in her
life.
Reading about Grueter got me
thinking. Maybe there is a danger in
placing too much stock in “one thing.”
When that “one thing” is gone, what
do you have left?
People who wash their hands
50 times a day, or can’t leave
their house because they worry
it will get dirty, need to find a
new hobby.
Finding meaning in life is impor
tant. After all, life only has the mean
ing we put in it. t
We must all make some things
important in life, but we should choose
these things carefully and make sure
we stay grounded in reality.
I’ve learned not to place too much
faith in money. You could end up in
court, or,even worse, become like my
friend Evan. He’d buy property from
an old lady in a nursing home who
needed money fast to pay for an oper
ation, and then he’d sell it for twice
what he paid later that afternoon.
Money will fail you. Sooner or
later, you’ll probably end up broke
like me. If money is everything to you,
you have nothing when it’s gone.
If you focus on money, you could
get so wrapped up in your career, your
life would revolve around getting that
next promotion. Imagine power
lunching your way through life. Be
sides, money can’t buy love or suc
cess; it only rents them. Just look at
Donald Trump.
Beware oloasing your lire on things
you can’t control. Remember how you
felt Jan. 2? I was devastated by the
Huskers’ loss to Florida State, and
there was nothing I could do about it.
No matter how many times I beat the
‘Noleson Bill Walsh’s Sega Football,
I couldn’t change the real score. My
roommate contemplated suicide, or at
least becoming a soccer fan. One day
I hope Nebraska gets the Big One, but
I’d be better off not placing so much
emphasis on football.
When you do choose something to
believe in, never get violent about it.
JeffGilooly is going to jail for getting
too caught up in his ex-wife’s skating
career. Tonya Harding will likely suf
fer this week even if she didn’t partic
ipate in her husband’s scheme to break
Nancy Kerrigan’s kneecap. Nothing’s
that important.
Most importantly, don’t get eccen
tric. No matter how important bee
keeping is to you, most other people
probably won’t get it. That’s OK, but
if you start bathing in honey because
you love bees so much, others proba
bly have reason to worry.
Closely related to eccentricity, is
obsessive-compulsive behavior.
Though my roommate jokes that I
brush my teeth too often, I think I’m
safe here. But people who wash their
hands 50 times a day, or can’t leave
their house because they worry it will
get dirty, need to find a new hobby.
We all need to find something in
life to keep us going. The world would
be pretty boring with nothing to care
about. However, remember there is
life outside your own little world.
People who base their lives on one
thing miss out on everything else.
Diversify and enjoy life. Just remem
ber, if you don’t get that job you
wanted or your marble collection gets
stolen, you can always spend some
time with card games, ant farms or
good books. Life’s full of opportuni
ties.
Banks is a junior political science major
and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
C IM)\ I \N(,i; kl KICK
Jogging pain eased by fantasy
I am jogging. It’s a beautiful Feb
ruary morning. The endorphins
are starting to kick in, and I’m
feeling fine.
I’m thinking, something I still
manage to do on occasion, and the
thoughts tumble out one on top of the
other. My mind is outpacing my Nikes,
and as I round the three-mile mark,
I’m heavily into fantasyland.
Putting one foot mindlessly in front
of the other for 30 minutes a day lends
itself to psychosis. Instead of tuning
into Ace of Base, I tune out of reality.
Call it cheap entertainment; call it
neurotic; but chances are, if you see
me out pounding the pavement, I’m
not all there.
My ruminations vary depending
on my state of mind and time of year.
Sometimes I see Ed McMahon hold
ing that oversized $10 million check
with my name on it. I can run for hours
spending that one. Around the first
week of May, I spend my study hours
fantasizing that I’ve come down with
a virulent case of the Beijing flu, and
my professors all feel so bad they
excuse me from taking finals.
In today s fantasy, a New York
copy editor has miraculously come
across some of my Daily Nebraskan
columns and deemed them worthy of
the Times. The editor pictures me as a
younger Erma Bombeck and wants to
begin grooming me as her replace
ment. Or maybe he sees me as a Mid
western AnnaQuindlan, I’m not sure.
The important thing is that I have
been discovered, and easy street lies
right outside my door.
Isn’t it amazing the trips you can
take right in your own neighborhood?
A car honks and brakes lock on the
gravelled streets of my hometown. I
look up, still lost in my illusion, and
wave to my adoring fans as I cross the
street. And you thought those runners
wearing Walkmans were a traffic haz
ard? As Dan Quayle once so ineptly
paraphrased, “a mind is a dangerous
thing to lose,” especially when you’re
crossing 17th Street during rush hour.
Feanng for my life, I force myself
In today’s fantasy, a New York
copy editor has miraculously
come across some of my Daily
Nebraskan columns and
deemed them worthy of the
Times.
to come back into the present.
Back to New York. Soon I am
syndicated, and folks all over the coun
try are chuckling over my Sunday
morning columns. My mug shot is
there on page 12, section B, see it?
Right below Donald Kaul and to the
left of Ellen Goodman. I look good. I
sound good. The money is rolling in.
Of course I remain as modest and
self-effacing as ever. When Connie
Chung calls for an interview, I at
tribute my demeanor to my stable
upbringing and the calming influence
of the Plains.
I hate to admit it, but this is a
pattern for me. As a kid, I used to shut
myself up in the hall closet, climb up
to the top shelf (it was a big closet) and
sit eating saltines and salami, reading
a book and pretending to be Laura
Ingalls in her dug-out or Anne Frank
hiding from the German soldiers.
And I can distinctly remember
walking home from grade school, day
dreaming about being one of 10 peo
ple left on the planet after some cata
clysmic explosion had wiped out the
rest of the human race. I spent many
aimless afternoons, swinging my book
bag, avoiding cracks in the sidewalk
and determining who got to share a
piece of the earth with me.
Being an egocentric 10-year-old, I
got to choose the lucky few. Let’s see,
my best friend, Kelly, Mom and Dad,
David Cassidy....
Later, in junior high, 1 would lock
the bathroom door, j ump on the counter
and blow imaginary smoke rings at
the mirror while viewing myself from
all angles, searching for the best head
shot to send Tiger Beat magazine.
Tapping nonexistent ashes into the
sink, I would feign silent laughter as 1
charmed Hollywood talent scouts.
And singing along to the radio I
was sure I had Linda Ronstadt topped
hands-down. If only I had the right
connections, I’d be the one up on stage
belting out “Baby, you’re no good.
I know what you’re thinking. And
I’m sure you’re right. If you checked
your copy of the Diagnostic and Sta
tistical Manual of Mental Disorders,
I’d be listed somewhere between
Dementia and Narcissistic Personali
ty Disorder. But what the heck, we’re
all in there somewhere.
/\s i near nome, 1 m wonting oui a
book deal with my publishers,
McGraw-Hill. It’s going to be 30 of
my best columns titled “On the Cut
ting Edge with Cindy.” It’s a lame
title, I know. I wanted “Lange-Kubick
Can’t Say That, Can She?” but Molly
Ivins beat me to it.
I walk in the front door, sweaty but
triumphant. The phone is ringing.
Probably LeHerman. My husband yelk
at me from the kitchen, “Cindy, it’s
your editor at the DN. She says your
last column was unintelligible; you’re
going to have to redo it.
Suddenly I have shin splints and a
backache. Who needs reality anyway?
Lange-Kubick Is a senior news-editorial
and sociology major and a Dally Nebraskan
columnist.
Free Computer
Classes!
The Computing Resource Center is offering free
microcomputer classes to UNL students. The classes will
feature an introduction to Microsoft Word for the
Macintosh and WordPerfect for IBM machines. No
reservations are required.
Introduction to WordPerfect for IBM
Thursday, February 24 1:30 - 3:00 Sandoz lab
Introduction to Microsoft Word for Macintosh
Thursday, February 24 3:30 - 4:30 Andrews Hall lab
Thursday, March 3 3:00 - 4:00 Andrews Hall lab
I-1
Mechanics Needed
Immediate Part-Time Openings
The Nebraska Army National Guard
has the following positions available:
* Avionics Mechanics
* Diesel Truck Mechanics
* Track Vehicle Mechanics
These positions as well as many
others will provide money for college
and retirement benefits. For more
information call today:
Patti or Doug
473-2162 or 473-2161
or
1-800-334-5082
Tht Nabraaka Army National Guard la an Equal Opportunity Empioyar
» »
In a recent
column,
humorist
Erma Bombeck
wrote, "There
are only two
things worth
remembering:
your Social
Security
Number and
the formula
for your hair
dye."
She ne
glected to
include a third:
your Personal
Identification Number
(PIN).
At the same time,
Bombeck named things she
thought you
could forget:
your ring size;
how much
pressure you
use in your
tires; and the
names of
the seven
dwarfs.
(It's OK to
forget your
mother's
age, too, she
says.)
Take
Erma's advice.
Take an inven
tory of what you have
stored in memory and then
"clean house."
But..Remember your PIN!
Remember
your PIN
It s da taste.