‘World’ lacks Midwesterners
I love Nebraska.
If I can help it, I’m never leav
ing Nebraska. Everything I’ll
ever need is right here: friends, fam
ily, a few movie theaters, a few librar
ies, a reasonably broad selection of
fast-food restaurants.
For the rest of my life, I don’t ever
have to venture past the panhandle or
the Missouri River.
If I get tired of eastern Nebraska, 1 1
can always visit Pioneer Village or
Chimney Rock. And if I desperately
need a change of pace, I can take a
pilgrimage to the Black Hills or Kan
sas City once or twice a decade.
Say what you will about Nebraska.
Complain about its lack of oceans and
skyscrapers. Whine about the weath
er and jihe tractors clogging up the
interstates. But you cannot deny that
Nebraska is a friendly place. And that
Nebraskans, in general, are very, very
friendly.
In Nebraska, we’re nice to every
one— even people we don’t know. I
suppose this Maybeiry-like friendli
ness has its dark side: It could be
dangerous.
I know I’m far too nice to strang
ers. Not that I’d accept candy from a
stranger or anything, especially if it
was his last piece.
I like being nice to people and
being around nice people. But the rest
of the country might take us more
seriously if we weren’t so friendly.
That’s probably why there’s never
anyone from Nebraska on “The Real
World” — that MTV creation that
captures ON FILM the hi-jinks that
occur when six strangers are forced to
live together in a posh New York
apartment or a beach house.
In its two-season run on every
one’s favorite music network, “The
Real World” has had all sorts of wacky
REAL, LIVE people. Actress
wannabes, model-wannabes, poet
wannabes, etc.
Because it’s brought to us by such
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Nobody on “The Real World” has
even visited Nebraska or Iowa or
Kansas. In fact, I’d pay a pretty
penny to see one of them try to
locate the Midwest on a map.
a broad-minded network, “The Real
World” features folks of different rac
es and sexual preferences, and even a
future host of “The Grind.”
Talk about diversity! They’ve had
a rapper AND a country musician
AND a folk singer.
Just one demographic group has
been suspiciously ignored — Mid
westerners.
Nobody on “The Real World” has
even visited Nebraska or Iowa or
Kansas. I n fact, I’d pay a pretty penny
to see one of them try to locate the
Midwest on a map.
I suppose we’re just not exciting
enough. We wouldn’t create enough
screaming and hissing to keep the
cameramen busy.
Even really mean Nebraskans are
more courteous than the “Real World”
gang, and we avoid conflict like the
Black Plague if we can help it.
It’s significant that Nebraska is not
famous for any uprisings or riots and
that no wars are named after our state.
Those MTV people probably know
what they’re doing. I wouldn’t watch
“The Real World” if it were about
Midwesterners.
“Tune in next week when Lisa
catches Kristen wearing her favorite
sweater....
‘Oh my God, Kristen, you’re wear
ing my sweater. You look so much
better in it than I do. You have to keep
it.’”
Their biggest fights would be about
who was going to do the dishes.
“I’m doing the dishes tonight.”
“I won’t hear of it. I’m doing the
dishes. YouTelax.”
“Stop this insanity! I can’t believe
you two. Why do we always have to
argue? Can’t we get through just one
meal that doesn’t end in a shouting
match? Just get out of here. I’m doing
the dishes.”
I’m not saying that they wouldn’t
hate each other on “The Real Mid
west.” They most certainly would.
But they would never let on.
Well, maybe it would be exciting.
Few things are more amusing than
watching two people who hate each
other bend over backward to out-nice
one another.
But subtext and underlying ten
sions seem a little subtle for MTV
audiences. Watching people smiling
ly seethe isn’t quite as thrilling as
watching them throw punches and
dump mouthwash on each other’s
beds.
They have courteous Southerners
on “The Real World.” I guess MTV
excuses their friendliness because they
have silly accents and commit inter
esting racial faux pas.
Remember the time the cute South
ern girl asked the black girl, “Are you
a drug dealer?” And the time the
dimpled Southern guy, asked his black
roommate, “Do you mind if I hang a
confederate flag?”
That’s television!
Rowell is a junior news-editorial, adver
tising and English major and a Daily Nebras
kan columnist.
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