Opinion Nelsraskan
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
• University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Jeremy Fitzpatrick.Editor, 472-1766
Kathy Steinauer.Opinion Page Editor
Wendy Mott.Managing Editor
- * ' Todd Cooper. Sports Editor
Chris Hopfenspetger. .,.Copy Desk Chief
Kim Spurlock.Sower Editor
Kiley Timperley ..Senior Photographer
“It’s certainly possible that they could say, ‘Well,
the hell with the university. We’ll just go on doing
what we’ve done.”’
— Vice Chancellor for Student Affairs James Griesen, reacting
to the possibility that members of Phi Gamma Delta fraternity
could continue to live in their house if suspended
“Polly has become more than a neighbor in
Petaluma. She has become America’s child.”
— Marc Klaas, father of Polly Klaas, a 12-year-old girl who was
abducted and slain in Petaluma, Calif, two months ago. Klaas’
body was found Sunday.
“The rat is always right. If things aren’t working
out, we look at what the student is doing wrong. ”
— Ken Keith, psychology professor at Nebraska Wesleyan
University, discussing the 17th annual Rat Olympics and how the
skill of the student determines the rat’s success
“If I want to know something, I don’t ask the
monkey, I ask the organ grinder. ’’
— Notre Dame coach Lou Holtz, who said that he would have
to ask the voters to find out why Notre Dame was not ranked
higher in the polls
'7 guess one of the reasons we haven’t had a lot
of success is that we’ve been playing Bobby. ”
— Nebraska coach Tom Osborne on his bowl record
“I’m sick of ducks and deer and scenes that
make mothers happy. ”
— Brick sculptor Jay Tschetter on his desire for creative artistry
in future works
“Whoever it is, is getting their jollies off on the
wrong thing. This is not funny. They should be
getting their laughs from the Saturday morning
cartoons. ”
— Hall County Civil Defense Director Howard Maxon,
responding to false alarms and fake accidents on Interstate 80 the
last two years
“I said that some people may think we’re square,
but that’s hard when the hippest guy in America’s
from Norfolk, Nebraska. ”
— Junior business administration major Kevin Ziebell, who
spoke as a member of the NU Marching Band at“The Kennedy
Center Honors” honoring Nebraskan native Johnny Carson
“I heard the explosion and felt pain in my
stomach. I called Daddy. He came and took me
into his arms. He told me not to be afraid, it was
just a scratch. I hugged him and it was better
then. ”
— Damjel Dorotic, a 10-year-old who was hit with shrapnel in
Sarajevo, Bosnia-Herzegovina
“I call myself a dreamer. This has been a dream
for a long time. It’s finally been realized."
— Mary Robinson, an 88-year-old woman who will graduate
with a bachelor’s of arts Saturday, Dec. 18
“If the person goes hog wild In meeting people
and takes to It like a duck takes to water, they may
in fact neglect other things. ”
— Vern Williams, coordinator of career counseling, about UNL
freshmen and changes in their relationships after coming to
college
Staff editorials represent the official policy of the Fall 1993 Daily Nebraskan Policy is set by
the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. Editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the
university, its employees, the students or the NU Board of Regents Editorial columns represent
the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan They establish the UNL
Publications Board to supervise the daily production of the paper According to policy set by
the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of
its students
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor from all readers and interested others
Letters will be selected for publication on the basis of clarity, originality, timeliness and space
available. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject all material submitted. Readers
also are welcome to submit material as guest opinions. The editor decides whether material
should run as a guest opinion Letters and guest opinions sent to the newspaper become the
property of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous submissions will not (re
published. Letters should included the author’s name, year in school, major and group
affiliation, ifany. Requests to withhold names will not be granted. Submit material to the Daily
Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588 0448
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England offers work, escape
Iknew it couldn’t last. It’s a per
sonal record. I’ve held a job for
four months.
My job at Hardees my sophomore
year of high school lasted three
months, and I suppose in many ways
it was better than writing for the Daily
Nebraskan. I got to eat the burgers
that were more than two hours old—
at which point they were referred to as
“waste” — I got to work with a guy
who, perhaps through no effort of his
own, behaved and looked remarkably
like the emcee from the hit Broadway
musical “Cabaret.” I received high
tech training on complicated equip
ment, which will be essential for tnc
jobs of tomorrow.
“OK, Pccstrup, so when someone
orders a bacon, ham and lard biscuit
WITHOUT the chitlins, you push the
HCHT button BEFORE the BHLB
button."
My job at Little King lasted two
months, and that was somewhat pleas
ant as far as nametag/visor jobs go,
but being in constant danger of having
your digits severed by a razor-sharp
spinning blade can lose its charm
rather quickly.
But now it is the call of the sea I
must heed.
Sea: Hey, Peistrup!
Me, with Chef Boyardec ravioli in
my mouth, which accounts for my
state of being approximately 25 per
cent of the time: I’m ot alking oo hy
sink!
Sea: I’m not the sink, I’m the sea.
Down here in the drain, you schmuck.
So I peer in. It’s generally best to
humor the forces of nature.
Sea: England is cooler than this
place.
You heard it right. I’m sallying
forth to the land of culture, airborne
umbrellas and figgy pudding. Former
romping grounds of Chaucer,
Shakespeare and the Clash. (Readers
insert wistful sigh of glee.) Armed
with a six-month work permit and a
tube of toothpaste, I intend to find my
What if everyone there is wedged
in the middle of some
monstrously complicated story
line involving inheritances and
I implied sexual intercourse?
ambition, drive and lust for money
that are supposed to make me unique
ly American. Sort of a compare and
contrastexerci.se, like choosing a long
distance phone company or deciding
which member of the Clash had the
cutest hiney.
Wait a cotton pickin’ minute, I
hear you readers mumbl ing. Does she
think she can hold a job for six
months?! Well, unemployment won’t
get me down ifl shoot up heroin often
enough.
Greg Wardle, who is employed by
this university as a biology lab in
structor, informed me that the British
Government provides free heroin for
addicted persons.
Why wasn’t my physics lab in
structor full of useful tidbits 1 ike this?
I actually envision “Brent” stooped
over his stove watching water boil
into the wee hours of the morn with
frank astonishment and awe at the
wonder of science.
I’ve never tried heroin, it being
prohibitively expensive and poten
tially life threatening, but I have tried
t he free sample of Mul tigrai n Cheerios
that arrived in my mailbox from God
only-knows-where, so I’m a firmly
established risk taker.
Strangely when human-type peo
ple other than Greg Wardle hear I’m
going to a beautiful, cosmopolitan,
historical chocolate eclair of a coun
try, their first reaction is “What about
your boyfriend?” (Sorry fellas, you
can take down those newsprint photos
scotchtaped over your headboards.)
N ice to hear in an age when women
are supposed to be “liberated.” Geez,
its been 10 years since they took the
bust-size oval off the MCAT.
Yet sometimes England frightens
me. The England I see most often is
the “Masterpiece Theater” England. (
What if everyone there is wedged in
the middle of some monstrously com
plicated story line involving inherit
ances and implied sexual intercourse?
Alistair Cooke: And now part five
ofEileenofFarthingtonintheTwixit:
Eileen: I say, Lord Hemington!
(Loud, yet curiously unobtrusive vio
lin music accompanied by the sound
of horses’ hooves clopping.)
Oh, who am I kidding? The truth is
that I can endure an occasional car
bomb or crowbar fisticuff if it means
I don’t have to hear about any more
football players shoving small men
into Broyhill Fountain or fraternity
men chasing pledges out of third
story windows.
For a small and charming Mid
western town, Lincoln has more flaws
than a thrift store china set. I’m sure
1’ m not the only one who can think of
several people who were attacked and
beaten, but never made the pages of
the Daily Nebraskan. Lord knows 1 ’d
be asking too much for a young wom
an to feel safe after 6 p.m., but these
arc strapping young lads.
So good-bye festering sore of a
city. Thine puss will infect me no
more.
Peiitrup it a lopbomore Kagliib major
and a Dally Nebraskan columaiit.
Single mothers
I am writing in regard to Sam
Kepfield’s article (DN, Dec. 1). He
feels the key to halting the disintegra
tion of the U.S. social fabric is an end
to illegitimate births. What a simple
solution to a complex problem. It is no
wonder Kepfield is a history student.
He is living in the dark ages. He
generalizes all single mothers as wom
en after a quick buck from welfare and
Aid to Families with Dependent Chil
dren, with no economic benefit what
soever to society. Obviously, he has
not talked to many single mothers.
I am a single mother with a 7-year
old son. Neither I nor my son have
been a burden to society. There are
many other single mothers like my
selfrHaving a baby is a serious, life
changing affair. All parents and chil
dren,boyfriends and girlfriends should
be engaged in conversations about it
now, as Kepfield suggests. These con
versations should be conducted be
cause of the values people are taught
as they grow up, not because they are
worried about the nation’s economy.
An abortion is a lot easier to cover
up than an illegitimate child, but if it
is against a woman’s values, she should
feel just as free to have the baby as
abort it. Kepfield seems to want to
take that freedom away in the name of
the economy.
Christine Schucrman
graduate student
public administration
Liberals
Since I’ve been at UNL, 1 have
seen many stupid things: green spots,
pink triangles, liberal teachers, liber
al newspapers. But for the DN (DN,
Dec. 6) to claim that “when the pres
ident lies to the people, he is betraying
everything the United States is sup
posed to stand for," and then to claim
that Reagan and Bush are guilty of
lying, is to ignore the fact that a
pathological liar, Bill Clinton, can’t
even exhale the truth, let alone inhale
a joint*.
It’s no surprise the DN would rath
er believe an overpaid conspiracy
theorist like Lawrence Walsh as to
involvements of two former presi
dents, for they also believe a slick
talking, lying, career politician from
Arkansas.
Dustin Rugc
senior
finance