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English graduate students Melanie Aswcll (left), 23, and Jenny Corbett, 22, say schoolwork leaves little time for entertainment outside the house. An occasional movie is the usual recreation.
Homosexual, straight couples share same challenges
From this
day forward
By Kimberly Spurlock
Staff Reporter
elanie Aswell and
Jenny Corbett are
married — to each other
Among their friends, this fact is not
unusual nor is it startling to hear.
“We don’t get
the same
positive
reinforcement
that straight
people get.”
Sitting in the UNL Gay/
Lesbian Student Association
Resource Center, Corbett and
Aswell, both lesbians and UNL
graduate students, spoke comfort
ably about their relationship.
Aswell and Corbett began
dating nearly three years ago, after
they met while attending college in
New York. They were students in
the same English class and worked
together.
Corbett and Aswell said they
knew they were lesbians since high
school. Aswell said she knew she
was a lesbian because, just as
straight men and women are
attracted to each other, she was
attracted to other women. Corbett
was her first lesbian lover, she said.
They didn’t need to ask one
another if the other was a lesbian,
Aswell said.
They knew, Corbett said,
because of their class discussions in
English and because the two
attended a small college where
“everyone knew just about every
___ »»
one.
But ultimately, Aswell said,
“We just knew.”
They made their wedding vows
in April, when they participated in
the gay and lesbian wedding in
Washington, D.C. Although most
states do not recognize homosexual
marriages, Aswell said the couple
considered themselves just as
married as any neicrosexuai couple.
Unfortunately, Aswell said,
being a homosexual married couple
has its problems in today’s society.
“We don’t get the same positive
reinforcement that straight people
get,” she said.
She and Corbett cannot file
their income tax statements jointly
as heterosexual married couples
can.
we a oe oener on u we
could,” Aswell said.
But, Corbett said, she and her
lover do not have to worry about the
gender expectations society burdens
upon heterosexual marriages.
Within heterosexual marriages,
the woman may be expected to stay
home and the man to work. Corbett
said gay and lesbian couples were
able to go against society’s norms.
“We have the freedom to
determine what each of us will do,”
she said. “Our duties are divided on
the line of temperament.”
Aswell works. Corbett does
not. But the couple said that wasn’t
a problem in their relationship,
because at some point in time the
roles have been reversed.
“It all evens out,” Aswell said.
Being in a lesbian relationship
makes it easier to negotiate what
their relationship means to one
another, Aswell said. Straight
couples more or less have expecta
tions of how their relationship is
supposed to be, she added.
But just like all couples,
Corbett said, she and Aswell’s
relationship has its ups and downs,
ana arguments are commonplace.
“But we generally go with the
rule that we don’t go to bed mad,’’
Corbett said.
Divorce isn’t an option in their
relationship, Aswell said. But if it
ever came to that, it could be messy.
“Married heterosexuals can go
to court and sue for a divorce,” she
said. “But with gays and lesbians,
we just split up.”
Aswell said it was harder to
prove in court what property should
go to whom in gay and lesbian
relationships.
But, Corbett said, ‘we always
operate under the assumption that
divorce would be the last thing we’d
do. Most married heterosexuals
operate under that assumption.’’
UNL freshman William
Schultze is married, too. He and his
husband, Chris, had a ceremonial
wedding more than a year ago.
“We asked a friend of ours,
who was a former preacher, to
marry us,” Schultze said.
The two met through a gay and
lesbian youth support group in
Arizona. When Chris asked
Schultze out on their first date,
Schultze said he felt nervous and
afraid.
“He (Chris) was the first man
that I ever went out on a date with,”
he said.
The two arranged to meet at a
store, go to dinner and then to a
movie, but Schultze said Chris
stood him up.
“I was mad,” he said, laughing.
After more than an hour,
Schultze went home. The next day
Chris called and apologized,
explaining to Schultze that the cab
he called never picked him up.
They set another date.
“And this time,” Schultze said,
“I had him pick me up.”
The two immediately con
nected, Schultze said.
“I liked him — I liked the way
he looked,” Schultze said. “We hit it
off right away.”
Schultze said he and Chris
spent their free time in the company
of other gay and lesbian friends or
watching movies.
Some common arguments
among the two, Schultze said, are
that they aren’t paying enough
attention to one other or spend too
much time with their best friends.
He and Chris share everything,
he said, including a joint checking
account. But because their marriage
isn’t legal, they must carry indi
vidual car and health insurance,
which is more expensive.
Schultze said children are in
their future, but the couple faces a
major problem.
“We both want to be the
biological father, and he wants a
girl and I want a boy,” Schultze
said. “And, we only want one.”
To them, surviving in a society
where homosexuality is not
accepted is a lesser worry than
finding a solution to this dilemma.
