Huge campus dating pool
may overwhelm small-town freshmen
By Alan Phelps \ might be hard to
Senior Reporter some small-town
freshmen down on the
farm once they ve seen the
Lincoln dating scene. But
for most, the change can be
a bit disconcerting.
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freshmen repopulating the Univer
sity of Nebraska-Lincoln each
semester find themselves suddenly
immersed in a dating pool far larger
than they’ve ever imagined.
Although it can be a bit frightening,
many freshmen say they cherish
their new-found freedom.
“It’s cool,” said Stephanie
Brink, of Hooper, population 932.
“When you’re from a small town,
you know all the same people.
Here, you just walk out your door
and you’re meeting all of these
prospects.”
Other freshmen agreed that the
opportunities at college are exhila
rating.
“There’s lots of new choices,”
said Sarah Boll, also of Hooper.
“Here you don’t know anything
about anybody. It gives you a
chance to start anew.”
Along with the new start come
new challenges that are just part of
growing up. Vcm Williams,
coordinator of career counseling at
UNL, said becoming a little fish in
a big pond brought huge changes.
“If the person goes hog wild in
meeting people and takes to it like a
duck takes to water,” he said, “they
may in fact neglect other things.”
However, Williams said, some
freshman go to the opposite
extreme and have difficulty meeting
anyone. In fact, he said, there are as
many problems and solutions as
there are freshman.
“You name it, there’s just about
any kind of problem you can
imagine,” he said. “Being uncom
fortable, being embarrassed, afraid
you’re going to make a fool of
yourself, that you’re not going to fit
in —just name any fear you can
think of.”
James McShane, a UNL
English professor, has worked with
University Foundations, a class that
teaches freshmen how to get the
most out of college, for eight years.
The father of seven children
himself, McShane said the only
generalization true about freshmen
social lives was that there are no
generalizations.
“I would be loath to general
ize,” he said. “Virtually everyone
who comes up here finds the
experience not what they expected,
that’s clear.”
McShane said many freshmen
hear stories about the university and
come to put what they’ve imagined
into practice.
“When it works, it’s glorious,”
he said. “When it doesn’t, it’s
disappointing.
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and drink a lot and make a lot of
friends. Sometimes that works,
sometimes it is very deceptive
altogether. Some hear it’s a place of
sexual freedom. They find the
sexual freedom and find out it’s not
wonderful.”
McShane said that while it was
all exciting, most found disappoint
ments along the way.
“That’s no surprise, of course ”
McShane said all of the
problems freshmen might experi
ence in relationships were within
the range of the normal, but they
may have seemed unusual to those
going through them.
“It’s difficult to people going
through the stress of their particular
experience to realize that this is not
unusual, that this is a variation of a
series of crises that everybody has
growing up,” he said. “That’s a
maturation process. It has to do
with self-knowledge as well as
the accessibility of others.”
4. McShane said learning to
L^v deal with these new rclation
r'' ships was a major life task,
one freshmen would have
encountered even if they had stayed
home.
“Depending on who you are,
it’s exciting or daunting. And it’s
daunting for everybody sometimes.”
Dan Sievers, a residence hall
student assistant, has heard fresh
men on his floor talk about both the
exciting and the daunting, but it’s
usually in relation to physical
aspects of relationships.
“The talk I hear on the floor is
so casual about sex,” he said. “To
me, what I hear is really degrading
toward women, seeing women as
objects.”
Sievers said he saw a casual
view toward relationships among
the men on his floor in Abel Hall.
“It’s a hew environment,” he
said. “It’s the freedom, I suppose,
being away from their parents for
the first time.”
Sievers said that many fresh
men in the residence halls talked
about having a serious relationship
in the future, but for now, everyone
was looking for someone new.
Sievers said one problem he
encounters was strain on relation
ships that began in hometowns and
followed freshmen to Lincoln. An
old relationship in a new place can
lead to insecurities, he said, about
whether the other person is seeing
someone else.
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men. She came to college from her
hometown of Hooper with a
boyfriend. However, the couple
broke up.
“Here, everything changed,”
she said.
Now Boll is set on meeting
new people. She said she and her
friends usually found new guys at
parties — especially fraternity
parties.
“We go to them because they’re
available," she said. “There’s tons
of guys there, so it’s a key thing to
go to. It’s really easier to meet
people. You’re drinking, you’re
having a good time, you’re a lot
more relaxed.”
Boll said she and her friends
were not looking for anything very
serious at parties.
“I’m just looking for fun, just
somebody to be around,” she said.
Greg Bates, a freshman from Elk
Creek, population 144, is one
person who didn’t break up with his
hometown girlfriend.
“1 take mine pretty seriously,”
he said. “My roommate takes his
pretty seriously.”
Since Brink, a freshman
advertising major from Hooper, has
been in college, she said three
old boyfriends have asked her
out again.
“I’m saying forget it. There are
too many other options.”
“If the person
goes hog wild
in meeting
people and
takes to it like
a duck takes
to water, they
may in fact
neglect other
things
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