At the bar, alcohol makes it easier, not better
Looking for love in all
the wrong places
By Tom Mainelli
Senior Editor
J- 1
's—heir eyes meet across a
smoky room — but only for an in
stant. They both look away, a little
shy but interested.
Two hours later, with four more beers in
ms system, ne maxes ms move. 1 hey engage
in a little small talk, some awkward silence,
then the exchange of numbers.
Ah, romance.
People are still hitting the bar scene in
hopes of finding a mate — but spectators
agree, the chances of finding true love are
alim to none___
“I know very few people who have met
in a bar and gone on to have a lasting
relationship,” said Jason Ronell, a bartender
at Iguanas, 1426 O St.
Often people with little in common hit it
off at the bar. When the partying is over, little
is left to talk about, he said.
“About 90 percent don’t even have a
chance,” said Ronell, a UNL senior recreation
and leisure major.
Mary McGinn-Dewey, a bartender at
O’Rourke’s Tavern, 1329 O St., agreed.
“Just because you have a good time
drinking together doesn’t mean you could
have a good relationship together.”
In fact, just the opposite will probably
happen, she said.
“If you go out looking for ‘Mr. Right,’
you’ll find ‘Mr. Wrong.’”
Ironically McGinn-Dewey met her
husband, Brad, at the bar. He was a frequent
patron, and several friends at the bar intro
duced the two.
“It can work,” she said. “But I’m
practical — I don’t rush blindly into relation
ships.”
Rushing blindly often means falling into
the eternal bar scene stereotype — the one
night stand.
“One-night stands happen all the time,”
McGinn-Dcwey said. I would be surprised
if at least one person (a bar patron) didn’t
go home with somebody else every night
of the week.”
These one-night stands continue to
occur despite the threat of AIDS and A
sexually transmitted diseases. ^
John Will now, manager at E-Z
Street, 1033 O St., said he didn’t think ^B
people were taking these problems
seriously.
“I don’t think people are as ^
scared as they should be,” he
said, ’it has cooled down
'Ml#
some, Dui mere are sun a 101 more one-night
stands than there should be. People are still
out looking for sexual partners at the bars.”
Alcohol creates an environment where
one-night stands are more likely, he said.
“Liquor is a good icebreaker,” he said.
“Things happen when you are drinking —
people open up and talk to people they
normally wouldn’t.”
But people shouldn’t blame the alcohol
for their actions, Willnow said.
“Just because you’re more open, it
doesn’t mean it has to be sexual,” he said.
Last call is often when the people
interested in one-night stands make their
move, said Barb Burke, a bartender at Duffy’s
Tavern, 1412 O St.
“Last call is a really popular time for
people to try and hook up with somebody,”
she said.
McGinn-Dewey said that many pickups
occured after O’Rourke’s famous last call. i
“People are always hanging around 1
outside the door, asking ‘Where’s the party?’
“That is where the trouble starts,” she i
said.
Some people seem to think they can
make something out of a one-night stand,
McGinn-Dewey said. i
It isn’t very likely. i
“Ninety-nine point nine percent of one
night stands don’t amount to anything,” she
said. “A lot of the time the guy won’t even
call the girl again because she was ‘too
easy.’”
Reynold “Reg” McMeen, owner of
Duffy’s Tavern, said the type of bar often
determines the types of interactions that
occur among its patrons.
“We’re not really a singles bar,” he said.
‘If people get together here, it is usually after
hey have gotten to know each other. After a
while they become friends and maybe start i
seeing each other.
“We have a tavern atmosphere, which is
something different from the dance club
scene.”
Willnow said E-Z Street considered itself i
a singles club.
“We are a dance club, and it is a singles
atmosphere,” he said. “People do come here i
to meet other people.” 1
That doesn’t mean people should expect
to find a relationship by frequenting the bar, I
he said.
“Most serious relationships don’t
develop after meeting someone in a bar,” he <
said. t
Michael Stock, a frequent customer at
Duffy’s, said most bars ended up acting as a
singles club at some point. c
“Every liquor establishment turns into ‘
one on the weekend,” said Stock, a graduate c
student in film and English. “It can get pretty
ugly, even in here (at Duffy’s). I
“The bar is generally the safe zone, but
the farther you get from the bar, the more f
‘interviewing’ you’ll encounter.”
Part of the problem with that whole
scene, Willnow said, is that you could end up <!
talking to a lot of people you
don’t like before you find
one whom you do like.
Willnow said singles had to be lucky to
meet the right person in bars.
Willnow must be lucky.
He met his girlfriend in a bar, and he
credited their relationship to luck, as well as
similar goals.
“We’ve both been around the block a few
times, and we knew what we were looking
for.”
But where should people who don’t
know what they are looking for look for it?
Stock said that is the big question.
“The bars in Lincoln are really the social
center,” he said. “There are not enough other
things to do.”
Willnow agreed.
“People my age, in their 20s, are social
rither through their work or the bars,” he said.
‘Where else are you going to meet people —
:hurch?”
That’s where Ronell’s mother advised
lim to look.
“She said to go to church if you want to
find a good wife.”
McGinn-Dewey offered her own advice.
“If people are going to look, they should
io it at work or in class,” she said.
“But the best advice is just not to
, look. If you are looking, it won’t
happen — so just stop looking.”
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