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Tough to survive Baby Talk 101
I’ve been taking a language course
for the last year. It is one of the
toughest courses I’ve ever taken.
I’m teaching my daughter how to
communicate.
Now teaching English shouldn’t
be that tough. But my daughter is 2.
A typical conversation goes like
this:
Me: “Alley sit down, please.”
Alley: “No.”
Me: “Please?”
Alley: “Nooo!”
Me: “Come on, please sit down
before you fall off the couch.”
Alley: “Papa. Juice?”
Me: "No.
Alley: “Juice, Papa?”
Me: “No. Sit down, please.”
Alley: “ JUICCCCCCEEEEE!”
Me: “NO.”
Alley: “Juice, Juice, Juuuiccceee!”
Me: “OK. But what do you say?”
Alley: “Peas?” (That’s her attempt
at please).
Teaching my daughter how to
speak has been a challenge. There
have been a few times where she has
said a few words I didn’t mean for her
to say. Also, her mother and I are
beginn ing to sound a lot 1 ike her when
we speak.
Alley: “Papa?”
Me: “Yes.”
Alley: “Go bye-bye?”
Me: “No, Papa stay.”
Alley: “Papa go.”
Me: “No, Papa stay. Alley go bye
bye.”
Alley: “Where Mama go?”
Me: “I dunno. Where Mama go?”
My daughter also has a hearing
problem.
It’s a selective hearing problem.
My wife says it’s from my side of the
family. At least she said she told me
that. I didn’t hear her the first time she
said it.
Alley doesn’t seem to hear me
My daughter also has a hearing
problem. It’s a selective hearing
problem. My wife says it’s from
my side of the family.
when I tell her to get off the cat. She
is constantly irritating our 10-year
old cat.
Me: “Alley! Don’t sit on Bailey.”
Alley: Nothing but a smile.
Me: “Alley, get off the cat.”
Alley: Giggle, giggle.
Me: “Alley, please don’t sit on
Bailey. Be nice.”
And then there’s her brother. He’s
only five months old and can’t fend
for himself. She doesn’t hurt him, she
just tries to help. Even when he doesn’t
need it.
Me: “Alley, leave Aaron alone.”
Alley: “Un-uh.”
Me: “No, don’t stick your finger in
his mouth. You’re going to wake him
him up.”
Alley: “Am go night night?”
Me. Yes, Aaron go night night....
Nodon’t give him his Nuk. He doesn’t
need it. He go night night.” Here I go
again, baby talk.
Alley docs have quite a vocabu
lary; she even said Mogadishu the
other day. At least it sounded like that.
We’ve worked with her trying to
teach her what is what. When we see
animals, we tell her what they arc and
then try to have her repeat them to us.
She also knows some of the animal
sounds, although sometimes she gets
them screwed up.
Me: “Alley, what kind of animal is
that?” as we drive down the road.
Alley: “Cow."
Me: “What does a cow say?”
Alley: “Moooo.”
Me: “Good girl. What does a hors
ey say?”
Alley: “Moooo.”
Me: “No, good try. Horsey goes
Neeeiiigh.”
Alley: “Mooooo.”
Me: “OK, whatever. What does a
sheep say?”
Alley: “Sheep?” Pause, while she
thinks. “Moooo.”
I give up.
She also knows what sounds her
brother makes.
Me: “Alley, what does Aaron say?”
Alley: “Am.” Pause. “Waa waa.”
Teaching my daughter to speak
has been one of the most enjoyable
and pleasing experiences of my life.
But the best part is seeing the glow
and smile on her face when she speaks
and understands what she is saying.
This learning experience has been
good for her, but it has been an even
bigger learning experience for her
father and mother.
I can’t wait until we get to teach her
brother.
Wright is a graduate stud eat la Journal
ism aad a Daily Nebraskaa columnist.
\l W I’ll I MVS
Whiny Bushes hide in fortress
Former President George Bush
says he doesn’t care for the
press, but stories by a few news
services caught up with the busy little
guy over the weekend.
It’s been almost a year now since
the Bushmeister’s election downfall,
and he seems to be doing pretty well
for himself. As an unemployed world
Leader, he can earn up to $ 100,000 a
speech on the lecture circuit, be the
recipient of numerous awards and get
to live with Barbara.
On top of that. Bush has Secret
Service security and a fat pension. He
just built a $500,000 brick home on
that Houston lot he always used to
point to as evidence of nis Texan
citizenship. He and Barbara are both
working on books, and he can sell his
autograph.
Best of all, he doesn’t have to cater
to the media anymore.
“I don’t miss Washington. I don’t
miss the politics. I damn sure don’t
miss the press,” he said in a speech
last week.
Pretty harsh language from a former
president. But then, he apparently puts
much of the blame for his defeat on
the press, who, he says, (Minted a
bleaker picture of the economy than
necessary.
The new Houston home is seen by
some as part of Bush’s ongoing re
sentment against the press. Reporters
used to poke fun at Bush for saying he
I i ved in Texas when all he owned was
a vacant lot. I guess he showed them.
He can build a half-million dollar
house anywhere.
Barbara offered a rather cryptic
remark about the Houston affair.
“How happy we’ll be in that for
tress you’ve forced us into,’’ she told
reporters.
I’m not sure what she meant by
that. No one forced the Bushes to live
anywhere. George is the one who
always called himself a Texan. But
then, Barbara’s always been a cryptic
person, doing things like talking to
herdog, Mill ic, and trying to look 1 ike
After the answering machine
beeped, I left a short message
saying I wasn’t the president,
either. But the sarcasm in my
voice will let George know I’m
on to him.
George’s grandma.
I though! I might discuss this mat
ter with George and Barbara. They ’re
down in Houston these days, settling
into the fortress, and probably more
than willing to talk to folks on the
phone now that George has destroyed
communism and all.
* The Houston operator was very
nice and gave me two numbers for
George Bush: the office on Memorial
Drive and a house on Northborough
Street. I was pretty surprised how
easy it would be to talk to George.
Suiprised, and kind ofwarm and fuzzy
inside.
I tried the ofTice first. Even though
it was Sunday, I thought George might
be hard at work former presidenting.
He’s got that book, for one thing, and
then there’s the European speaking
tour he’s gearing up for.
But alas, there was no answer. The
ringing phone probably echoed across
the empty office, mournfully calling
out for the former president.
All was not lost, however. 1 still
had George’s Northborough number.
I was a little nervous dialing the
phone. After all, even though I have
worked at the Daily Nebraskan for a
few years now, I’ve never interviewed
a former President.
But nervousness turned to intrigue
when George Bush’s answering ma
chine turned on.
“Hi, can’t come to the phone right
now,” Bush said. He spoke with a
distinctly Southern drawl I didn’t re
member from his Washington years.
“Thanks for calling anyways. This is
not the president, and I’m not related,
so if you’re calling for him, don’t
waste your lime or mine.”
1 wasn’t surprised by Bush’s deni
als. If I were the former president, and
1 was stupid enough to have a listed
number, I d probably pretend I wasn ’ t
me, too.
After the answering machine
beeped, I left a short message saying
1 wasn’t the president, either. But the
sarcasm in my voice will let George
know I’m on to him.
I wonder if George was merely
using the answering machine to screen
calls. He probably was there, listen
ing to my message.
“How did that reporter get into my
fortress?” 1 pictured him saying as he
clenched his fist like he used to do
when he talked about Saddam.
“First they force us in here, now
they won’t leave us alone,” Barbara
might have replied.
Oh well. I suppose there are other
presidents to bother. The Bushes de
serve a vacation after having to put up
with this country for so long.
That doesn’t mean we have to lis
ten to them whine, though. Barbara
whines about that huge fortress she
has to live in, George whines about
the free press, whine whine whine.
You might think they’d turned into
liberals or something.
Pbelpt If s senior newt-editorial major, a
Daily Nebratkaa senior reporter and a col
umnist.
te Back
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Nebraska Union, 140011' Street,
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ears, so pick up a pen and write.
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