______r-- i
Men can be dangerous—period i
Apparently I have a water reten
tion problem.
I wasn ’ t aware of it, but lucky
for me, a man—who knows precious
little about women, by the way —
clued me in to my biological problem.
Of course, he attributes my aver
sion to hearing women likened to
mongrels who should receive a little
Alpo now and again,, as a simple
problem with water retention.
“Hope you get over your water
retention problem,” he called back
over his shoulder as he skulked off,
just moments after spending too much
time babbling nonsense about the uses
and abuses of women.
I certainly had no idea before his
revelation to me that the menstrual
cycle had anything to do with human
ism or feminism. But then I would
never call myself a feminista, which
of course, he would.
His misogynist rantings don’t mean
much, though: I’m not retaining wa
ter right now anyway.
But I digress.
After reading the latest issue of
Time, I think perhaps my fierce pro
tectiveness of my gender may be in
herent in my female biological make
up.
I’m aghast, but perhaps his
blatherings do have some basis in
fact. But not even remotely in the way
he means.
According to a health article in
Time, the menstrual cycle could be a
natural protection against the evils of
men.
Dr. Margie Profet, an evolutionary
biologist from the University of Cal
ifornia Berkeley, has turned science
on its head with her new theories
about why menstruation actually oc
curs.
How many times a year do I won
der the same thing? How many times
a year do most women wonder why
we have to get our period? At least 12.
Since she is an evolutionary biolo
I * 1
I like the idea that the monthly . I
bane of my existence has a
greater purpose, that it provides
me with an advantage that others
— namely men — do not have.
gist, Profet’s theory looks at why
menstruation occurs from a evolu
tionary perspective, and why it occurs
in one of the most evolved species on
the planet.
rd like to think she’s talking spe
cifically about women, not humans in
general. Why? Because the afore
mentioned man is definitely not high
ly evolved.
The long-held traditional idea of
why women menstruate says that the
purpose is to shed unfertilized eggs
and a plumped-up uterine lining.
But Profet says that the process is
costly — women shed a good deal of
blood and lining and lose important
nutrients. It’s too costly to be useless.
If it were both costly and useless,
Profet says, “natural selection surely
would have eliminated it long ago.’’
The fact that it was selected for
survival indicates it must provide some
advantage to women.
I like that. I like the idea that the
monthly bane of my existence has a
greater purpose, that it provides me
with an advantage that others—name
ly men — do not have.
Profet’s theory is that menstrua
tion is a biological mechanism to
protect fertility by stopping bacteria
from possibly infecting the womb.
The source of said bacteria? Sperm.
Her research shows that potential
ly harmful bacteria can enter the womb
and Fallopian tubes by attaching them
selves to sperm — I like to call it
»
'■ * "tv irtWa - ' r .i-r-itMh i- .
piggybacking.
Menstruation supposedly elimi
nates the menacing interlopers in two
ways: The shed lining carries the mi
croscopic bacteria away, and the
blood, rich in immune cells, is pre
pared to destroy any alien invaders.
So, to recap: Bacteria-riddled
sperm enter the uterus. To prevent
infection, the body puts the squeeze
on the arteries that feed the uterine
lining. The lining, now with no blood
or oxygen, dies. The lining sheds. The
arteries dilate, allowing the blood —
rich with immunity — to wash away
the dead lining and bacteria. And
voila — monthly menstruation.
Profet’s theory is just that, a theo
ry. And her basis is almost solely evo
lutionary, not biological.
But it has started the scientific
community thinking.
Now if only it could get others
thinking as well.
I am a woman, and my knowledge
about my body’s inner workings is
limited. Surely this man who attributes
my feminism to water retention knows
a great deal less.
Maybe 1 do retain a little water
now and then. But if Profet is right,
I’m just warding off the evils men
bring to me in this world.
And I’m not just talking about their
sperm.
Stayer b • water Eagiak tad klatsry
■ajar, a Dally Ncbraskaa arts a ad eatertala
aieat scalar reporter a ad a cohiatabt.
Ideals of book burning live on
Pull up a chair, kids, and toss
your favorite Salinger on the
fire, because it’s time to com
memorate National Banned Books
Week. Sponsored by the Library of
Congress, it was created to bring at
tention to the many, many books that
have been banned, burned and other
wise abused over the years. As the
week winds down, with surprisingly
little media fanfare, I might add, it’s
important to sit back and reflect on die
whole phenomenon of censorship and
how we’ve come to look at it.
Being the trusting, open-minded
Americans we are, we tend to look at
the whole book-burning phenomenon
as something removed from our lives,
a popular activity from an ignorant
age long gone. Oh, sure, we get ticked
off about something like record label
ing every once in a while, but more
often than not, we’re good at taking
the high road. We’re much more en
lightened, we think. We let others
speak their minds. We don’t dance
around bonfires, happily tossing cop
ies of deviant books like “The Adven
ture of Huckleberry Finn” into the
flames any more. Well, at least not as
often.
The basis for bannings in the past
was generally that a work violated the
moral standard of the day. For the
good of society, so it went, we, the
self-proclaimed guardians of the hu
man conscience, must protect our
selves and our families from this evil,
corrupting influence. Naive, we now
think, but how much different is that
attitude from what we have today?
Remember the Dan Quayle/
Doonesbury fiasco from a few years
back? Gary Trudeau stepped on a few
toes when he ran the episode about the
drug dealer who supposedly sold pot
to Iran Quayle when he was back in
law school. Feeling that it must bear
the heavy burden of being a member
of the Enlightened Few, the Omaha
World-Herald decided to yank the
strip because no one else would be
intelligent enough to decide for them
Being the trusting, open-minded
Americans we are, we tend to
look at the whole book-burning
phenomenon as something
removed from our lives, a popular
activity from an ignorant age long
gone.
selves that Trudeau may or may not
have taken a few liberties with the
story.
Remember “The Last Temptation
of Christ”? Hordes of protesters de
scended upon the unlucky theaters
that dared run the evil, corrupting
film. In one of the final scenes of the
movie, Jesus, in his final hours upon
the cross, contemplates what his life
would have been like had he suc
cumbed to the sinful nature of his
humanity. Part of the fantasy happens
to be a love scene with Mary
Magdalene.
Countless numbers of people blast
ed it as being blasphemous and ob
scene, and they succeeded in remov
ing it from screens all over the coun
try. Never mind the fact, of course,
that no one had actually seen the
offensive segment — which was a
minuscule part of the entire film—or
that the movie was created by one of
the most talented and visionary film
makers of our time, Martin Scorcese.
How about last week, even? Local
ABC affiliate KETV, along with a
few dozen other stations nationwide,
decided against running the new po
lice drama “NYPD Blue," objecting
to content it decided was inappropri
ate for its viewers. Despite the fact
that two other Nebraska affiliates,
along with most of the rest of the ABC
affiliates in the country, thought it
was suitable for television, KETV
told viewers in eastern Nebraska that
they were not capable of deciding on
the television that they would watch.
The offensive content of “NYPD
-
Blue” in question was a few scenes
with nudity ami a few with vulgar
language. I ’d probably be hard-pressed
to find too many people that would
object to keeping vulgarity and nudity
off network TV. God knows that most
television is the intellectual equiva
lent of junk food. However, how is
this “reasonable” censorship any dif
ferent than banning Huck Finn for
being loose with morality? How is it
any different from banning “Fahren
heit 451” because it has “rough lan
guage?” All three involve value judg
ments that were derived from a cultur
al context.
Contrary to popular belief, we do
not have free speech in this country.
There are limits, however slight, to
what we can say. There have always
been limits, and there always will be,
First Amendment notwithstanding.
We, as a society, feel that we must
protect TV watchers from vulgar lan
guage. We feel that we must protect
people under age 18 from pornogra
phy. And maybe these are good ideas.
However, they are evolved from the
same mental ity that led angry mobs to
bum Harper Lee in effigy: there are
just some things we don't allow.
When we talk about past censor
ship vs. censorship today, we are talk
ing in terms of degrees, not quantum
leaps. We are playing out the same
roles today as people in the unenlight
ened book-burning days: We still re
strict thought and speech according to
the moral attitudes of our times.
Ziaacrau to ■ Jaator EafUik Major
a ad My Nebraakaa coiaMalit.
FOR JUNIOR NURSING STUDENTS
A NURSING EXPERIENCE AT
MAYO FOUNDATION HOSPITALS -
ROCHESTER, MN
Here is your opportunity to work at Mayo Medical Center for
the summer.
Summer III is a paid, supervised hospital work experience at
Saint Marys Hospital and Rochester Methodist Hospital, both
part of Mayo Medical Center in Rochester, Minnesota.
You are eligible for Summer III after your junior year of a four
year baccalaureate nursing program. It includes experience
on medical and surgical nursing units or in operating rooms.
Application Deadline: December 1,1993.
For more information contact:
Mayo Medical Center
Nursing Recruitment ' , , >,
P.O. Box 6057
Rochester, Minnesota 55903
1-800-247-8590
Mayo Foundation is an affirmative action and equal opportunity educator and employer.
A smoke-free institution.
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