\\\i: si w i k
Fashion world rejects realism
OK, I’ll admit it.
I buy Mademoiselle maga
zine.
Worse yet, I actually have a sub
scription.
I don’t mean to be a traitor to my
gender. I just can’t resist the dazzling
writing and the brilliant fashion lay
outs filled with useful, pertinent in
formation and clothes I can afford.
Plus, I bought the subscription try
ing to win the Publisher’s Clearing
House Sweepstakes.
I should have used better sense. No
one wins.
This month’s issue has some can’t
wait-to-read-it articles, the kind that
make me put down my international
history book just to take a quick peek.
Articles such as “Makeup secrets that
will make you blush.”
This of course is a clever play on
words. For those who grew up in the
cheek-free ’80s, blush is a cosmetic
that colors the cheeks, thus giving the
wearer the illusion of a constant “girl
ish” blush.
I stopped wearing blush after my
initial makeup fascination in the ninth
grade,giving up cherry blossom blush
along with my blue/grey/silver eye
shadow compact.
But the cutting-edge makeup,
health and beauty articles aside, the
most fascinating part of September’s
Mademoiselle is the story on the new
beauty ideal: “Model Wars—a front
line report.”
That’s right, you’ve got it. There’s
a war going on in the fashion pages of
women’s magazines. There’s even a
front line, one that such serious jour
nalists as Mademoiselle’s can godown
into, to give the on-the-spot reports
from deep inside the fashion industry.
The players in this war-tom arena
are the supermodels and the waifs,
involved in cutthroat model-eat-model
warfare.
This gripping article is subtitled,
“radical changes in fashion have
sparked a model rebellion.”
A rebellion from what, I might ask.
I was bony, with jutting clavicles
and elbows coming out of
nowhere. But those days are
long gone, lost in the years that
followed high school, lost in the
discovery of beer and rich
chocolates.
for' standing around looking beauti
ful, with 10 to 12 people fussing over
your appearance, some man spritzing
your thighs with water to help you
appear sweaty and moist?
Damn, that kind of hard work I can
handle. Modeling waifdom here I
come.
I scoured the article, looking for
clues on how I might become the next
?treat superwaif, taking the mantle
rom Calvin Klein model Kate Moss.
Clues to how I might pose topless with
an underwear-clad Marky Mark.
Requirements I found included:
girlish straight hair or choppy, short
boyish hair. Next, thinness to the ex
treme, bordering on anorexia. Third,
the innocent look of youth, new fresh
faces untouched by the world. Fourth,
grunge, thrift-store-style clothes, just
a little too big. Fifth, smallish breasts.
What! Smallish breast in a fashion
magazine! Eureka, I’ve found my true
calling.
Translated this all means an
anorexic woman-child, makeupless,
in her big brother’s clothes with hair
that is anything but big.
So I ask myself, where do I fit in
here? Well, I have short, choppy boy
ish hair and I don’t wear much make
up. I wear boys clothes that are too big
for me and I definitely meet the final
requirement— I have smallish breasts.
I fit in almost all the categories—
well, I’m not exactly youthful, having
passed my 25th birthday months ago
— except the most important one:
thinness to the extreme, bordering on
anorexia.
I am nowhere near being too thin.
Once 1 had spline 133 BBVSdBflg
my 5 ’9 frame. I was bony, with jutting
clavicles and elbows coming out of
nowhere. But those days are long
gone, lost in the years that followed
high school, lost in the discovery of
beer and rich chocolates. No more
mannequin modeling at Miller and
Paine, no more bridal shows or photo
shoots.
I think I’m out of luck in the
supermodel category also. It sub
scribes to an altogetherdifferent fash
ion ideal — tall and big. Tall bodies
and big hair.
I’m tall and big, but in all the
wrong places.
Supermodels tend toward lots of
makeup too, with glossy lip shine and
tight, tight clothes only a supermodel
could afford.
Not my style either. Tight clothes
are uncomfortable and I don’t like
anything on my face shinier than my
nose.
I do have a mole on my face just
like Cindy Crawford, though. Except
models and the fashion industry call it
a beauty mark. I think it’s a mole. And
on my face besides.
Where do I fit in? In another mag
azine perhaps, but definitely hot in the
fashion ideal. Rather, in the fashion
reality.
Maybe this is why I read Made
moiselle, to see what is completely
unattainable and unhealthy. To reaf
firm to myself what is healthy, natural
and real — what is me.
That, and of course, to win the
sweepstakes.
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