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Objectification built in to sex act
seems important to recognize
without prejudice the differenc
es between the sexes.
I suspect that a great many of those
differences are socialized at an early
age, which makes them differences
nonetheless. Differences to be dealt
with and—within reason—accept
ed.
But when you’re talking about large
numbers of people—gender groups,
for instance — some pretty obvious
trends seem to emerge. And we can
assume that these are not socialized
but natural differences — whatever
that distinction means.
Take as an example the feminist
• criticism of male-oriented society, and
of men in general, that they tend to
objectify women’s bodies—a specif
ically gender-based observation.
What it means is: Men tend to exalt
the object that is a woman’s body
above the woman herself. They liter
ally make objects out of people.
That has all kinds of effects.
Pornography, prostitution and fash
ions in standards of physical beauty
can be traced partly to tnis objectify
ing tendency m men.
And once you become aware of
objectification, you can see it going
on constantly in all mediums.
Music, photography, literature,
everything that passes for art in the
advertising world, they all contribute
to the idea of woman, and draw our
attention away from real, individual
women.
This criticism of male-oriented
society seems clear-headed to me,
and true. But I think it’s largely mis
understood.
I would like—if such a thing were
possible—to defend the objectifica
tion of women’s bodies by men. Or, if
I find that really is impossible, to
explain it. Or diffuse the issue that
surrounds it.
The reason for the phenomenon
lies, I suspect, at least partly with the
male experience of the sex act.
„ - . Objectification is an act of imagi
nation. It exalts the imagined over the
actual. And for men, the act of sex is
centrally an act of imagination and
Objectification is an act of
imagination. It exalts the imagined
over the actual. And for men, the
act of sex is centrally an act of
imagination and objectification.
objectification.
In order for coitus to even happen,
a man must achieve an erection.
The erection: a magical object.
Now you see it, now you don’t.
An erection is largely an act of
imagination made tangible. Men feel
strongly about erections, as they would
about their personal creations.
And they don’t face the loss of an
erection with equanimity.
An erection is an object that is
itself already three-quarters idea. It’s
subject to mood, to stray thoughts, to
state of health... and men know it.
The objectification process begins
with men’s own bodies. Many men
treat their own penises as if they were
separate entities. They give them
names, talk about them in the third
person and regard them as rollicking
friends or traitorous devils.
Because, for men, so much de
pends on imagination in the sex act—
both in achieving and maintaining
erections — the act of imagination
becomes central to the experience.
This requires that men divorce
themselves from the moment, one
part of the body from another, their
feelings about a woman from the act
of sex with that woman.
Because, as men know, giving
oneself over to the feelings of the
moment may result in one of two
ends: Either nothing happens or ev
erything happens too quickly.
Men learn to make an internal sep
aration to avoid those possibilities. Or
they fail to make the separation and
suffer for it one way or the other.
Either way men tend to make fe
tishes of these newly created objects.
They exalt the idea of the erection
over any actual flaccid state. Ami if
they’re successful, everyone is happi
er.
Of course there are drawbacks,
there are dangers. The temporary sus
pension can become permanent, and
men lose contact with the person they
have sex with—even their own bod
ies.
Because they have learned the art
of divorcing themselves from the ac
tual moment, they may never master
the art of being present in it. Intimacy,
aside from the sexact, becomes threat
ening and difficult.
And women, historically, feel the
effects of men’s troubles.
Rather than cherishing persons,'
men come to cherish bodies mid parts
of bodies. It gets so some men can’t
see the woman for the hips, or the
breasts, or some combination of traits.
Everyone can see the nature of the
problem, but the nature of the cause is
occluded. And remember, this inter
nal partitioning is necessary, inescap
able by the nature of the act and men’s
bodies.
Anything that is human can be the
source of evil, social or personal. And
in the realm of sex all forces are
multiplied — until a dilemma that
begins in the private heart of a man
emerges as violence, abuse and ex
ploitation.
Any act of internal separation is an
act, to some degree, of violence.
The key is control of those violent
forces because they can’t be simply
done away with.
The male sexual experience is pe
rennial. It will be with us forever.
Baldridge b a Malar Ei|lbl Major aad a
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