The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, September 03, 1993, Page 5, Image 5
Rainbow rowei.l I Wedding talk bloats summer 44TT ow old’re you?” my 7 ■“l year-old brother said with his characteristic sneer. Since birth, my littlest sibling has had a way of curling his lip much like Billy Idol used to back in the innocent “White Wedding” days before he start ed messing around with that Holly wood Madame character. “You 18?” he pushed, not one to wait for me to finish introspecting. “Nope, I’m older than that.” “You 19?” “Older than that.” “You 20?” “Yep, I’m 20.” He sat for a moment, processing. “Why ain’t you married yet?” Couldn’t he have just asked me about the facts of life or why God allows war? I took it with a grain of salt. This is the same kid who routine ly tells me I must be “stupid” if I’ve been in school for 16 years. “Well,” I said, oozing diplomacy and fondness, “I haven’t found any one who I want to marry yet.” He just sneered, so I suggested that maybe he could find someone to mar ry me if he thought it was that impor tant. I smiled a patronizing smile that virtually reached out and patted him on uie neaa. “I don’t think so. You’re pretty old.” Great. I can just see him sitting in his first-grade class trying to trade the overpriced Jurassic Park pencils I bought him to some snot-nose in re turn for my hand in marriage. “You say she’s 20? I don’t know— that’s pretty old. Throw in that No Rules Trapper Keeper and you’ve got yourself a deal.” Oh well, kids say the damdest things. Despite the venom from the mouth of babes, I’m not holding the old maid card yet. But I can’t blame my brother. My family has had marriage on the brain «MaraimfmBv81noctfunef>my-ma>ttier has had tentative plans to tie the knot. She and her intended don’t want ' She and her intended don’t want anything formal, and they already have a marriage license so they I could hitch it up at any given moment, I guess. Heck, i haven’t talked to her all week; she could be married already. anything formal, and they already have a marriage license so they could hitch it up at any given moment, I guess. Heck, I haven’t talked to her all week; she could be married already. Yes, the summer was bloated with talk of vows and rice-throwing. This summer, the first of my high-school gang — Cathy — stalked down the aisle. It’s hard to imagine anyone from my high school making that sort of commitment, but it’s especially difficult to picture Cathy having and holding through sickness and health. Back in the days, Cathy was our resident loon. She was wacky with three capital W’s. We called her P Sycho, and voted her Most Likely to Bomb-Threat the Airport. She wasn’t clinically insane — just unpredict able. During high school, my neighbor hood was constantly under construc tion. It was always a pain in the heinie for my friends with cars to pick me up for football games and other import taut dates. The easiest way to my house was a downhill, one-way street, which was fine on the way in, but you had to take a more complicated route involving spooky railroad tracks on the way out. Unless Cathy was driving. When Cathy was driving, she left the same way she came in. Time after time, I remember sitting in the pas senger seat of her nondescript Honda as she turned onto the one-way street. I remember screaming her name and just pMn scream ingaswecl imbed the hill. “Cathy, Cathy, this isn’t fun ny. It’s insane.” She'd just laugh this high-pitched endorphin whine and speed on. I’d close my eyes and picture my self being pulled from a head-on col lision. Watching the home team beat the Benson Bunnies just wasn’t worth getting personal with the jaws of life. We’d reach the moment of reckon ing just over the crest of the hill. Once again Cathy ’ s luck had pulled through, and no cars were coming. And now she’s married. To a guy. A very normal guy. Not the bizarro bungee-jumping crack addict I al ways thought she’d bring home to meet Grandma. They’ve rented acute, newlywed ish apartment where they keep all of their married belongings and watch married people television. I know she’s the same person, but she seems different. She believes in happily-ever-after now, and when I’m with her, I think I do, too. But, I still can’t believe she’s for real. I keep waiting for her to call me, demon-giggling, to say, “PSYCH! Reeled you in, and you can’t have your Rubbermaid set back either!” I worry about her. What if this is one of her thrill-seeker pranks? It’s much more dangerous than the time she went to the mall and dropped rubber balls from the balcony onto Jeans West shoppers. Cathy’sdrivmgdown another one way street now. 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