‘If They Totally Get Their Way. . r
Future global history turns liberal, abandons Eurocentricity
This is part one of a two-part fiction story
Dec. 24,2043—The red minivan
pulled into my driveway at exactly
5 p.m. As it slopped, I could see the
four bright shining faces beaming
at me.
I was looking forward to my
family’s arrival lor one reason: I
wanted to see my grandsons. My
son, I could put up with, but not as
much since he married Hillary
Clinton’s look-alike. But he (and
she) were worth it tosec the kids—
whose minds I hoped to salvage
this year.
As I opened the door, my grand
sons ran into the room.
“Hello, you little monsters,” I
said. “How are things with you
guys?"
“They’re fine," said the older,
Ron. “School is tough, though.”
“American history gelling you,
huh?”
“Don’t be silly, grandpa,” said
the younger, Sam. "They don’t teach
that Yur — Yuri —”
“Eurocentric,” Ron said. “They
don’t teach that Eurocentric stuff
anymore. That wouldn’t be cultur
ally sensitive. No, Sam hcrcissludy
ingglobal history.”
“I’m doing real good, too,” he
said. “We’re learning about famous
people and events and stuff.”
“I remember doing just that,” I
said. “We learned about the Decla
ration of Independence and Co
lumbus’ landing in 1492, and about
the Pilgrims coming in 1620—”
"Oh, no,” Sam said. "Those are
under the bad events. Just a little
number of people forced their be
liefs on a big number of people. We
study things like the introduction
of welfare in the 1930s or Roc vs.
Wade in the 1970s.”
“Doyou know what those were?
Welfare made everyone lazy and
Roe vs. Wade made it legal to
murder children.”
“Don’t get mad at Sammy,” Ron
said. “He’s just telling the truth.
You’re too far stuck in the past.
Everyone knows abortion is a per
fectly normal thing.”
“You haven’t been telling me
much about yourself, youngster," I
said. “What have you been doing?”
“Well, I’m starting to reach pu
berty and there’s this guy in my
math class that I think likes me ."
Ron didn’t get to finish his sen
tence because I was drinking cof
fee at the time, and I let the sip I had
just taken fly across the room in a
spray that caught there for a mo
ment the sun’s spectrum.
"Arc you OK, grandpa?” he said.
“Did (cough) did you just say a
guy? I mean, it’s his business and
all, but you?. .
‘Sure. It’s perfectly normal, you
know. Mr. Strocanoff said so in
Human Growth. You know, most
of the population will supposedly
go both ways. You might even be
one of us.”
“By God, if you weren’t only 12.
. . .” 1 said under my breath. “So
what else arc you doing?”
“Well, we’re studying govern
ments. I swear, grandpa, those Rus
sians arc so backward."
“Well, 1 used to think so when I
was your age.”
“No, you don’t get it. They’re all
a bunch of pure capitalists. They’re
exploiting each other. I mean, they
don’t even have a national health
care plan, sincethcirConslitutional
Court ruled that was best left to
private business. And look at all the
rich people there are.”
“Well, if you were rich, you’d
feel differently now.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’d want
things to be like they arc. Aren’t
you nappy, anyway? You have So
cial Security and all that.”
“Yes. For a few years, I had to
depend on it. They fired me from
my columnist’s post for being loo
conservative. Butnow I write books,
and boy, do they sell.”
“Yeah, my teacher says it’s ‘feed
ing off people’s fear.’"
“Well, let me tell you something.
That ‘fear’ paid for your new bike
this year, I’ll tell you.”
“Ron!” My son called from the
other room. “You know better than
to talk to your grandfather about
these things. Go play outside or
something.”
“You know, 1 think I’ll play, too,”
I said. “How about a game of base
ball?”
Jan Calinger is a freshman news
editorial major and a Diversions contribu
tor.
Brian Sheilito/DN
At State Pail fro >m
Dance 'w^SyssSsas®
Advanced Tickt. available at City and East
Union, The Fort, and Gateway Western.
Is There A Place?
Is there a place for me to
rest, near your heart
where love is best’
Will you be there when I
shed my tears? Can you hold
me to prevent all fear?
As time goes by will we ever
be together, without having
problems or changes like the
weather.
Can 1 share my feelings
without a doubt, in hopes
that we can work them out?
Will you save me a place
where no one’s there, to show
how much you truly care?
When things come down can
I depend on you to always
be there and sec me through?
I care for you this is no
lie, you are to me a sweet
and special guy.
As time goes on there are
Kroblems that we must face
ut 1 hope near your heart
I hold a special place.
Linda Kay .Morgan is a junior broadcast
ing major and a Diversions contributor.
Will It Be You?
I sil here wondering whether I’ll find,
someone who's willing to be all mine.
Someone who will hold and squeeze me light.
Someone who will always treat me right.
Someone whose feelings and laughter I can share.
Someone who will always be there.
Until I find someone for me,
I’ll sit and wait so patiently.
I’ll sit here for however long it takes,
because I believe good things come to those who wail.
I’ll sit here hoping the next person’s true.
I can’t help but wonder, will it be you?
-Kimberly Spurlock
Together
Times are different and people’s feelings often
change,
but my feelings for you will remain.
We were once together, but although we’re apart,
you’ll always have a special place in my heart.
We’re still young, yes, us two,
but I know what I had was love for you.
Maybe one day we can start once more
and be together like we were before.
Maybe someday we will both sec
that our love for one another was meant to be.
- Kimberly Spurlock
•
Don't Touch Me
lJon t touch my body
cuz you might touch my heart
instead
a girl must be careful
where she lays her head
* to sleep at night
on a pillow of shame
to awake in the mornin’
lo awake lo the rain
* lo awake from a nighi
of deep cciasy
to find whai was iwo...
might now be THREE
three made from TWO
ycl TWO becomes ONE
when ONE slays ai home....
and ONE’S on ihc run
so, ONE stands alone
while ONE. goes free
now there wouldn’t be three,
cuz this shouldn’t be
if she could foresee
and say DON’T TOUCH. ..
ME.
-April Patrick
