——- OPTNTON Nebraskan
V^/X XX 1 XV-/1 1 FHd«y, March 12,1993
Net>raskan
Editorial Board
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Chris Hopfensperger.Editor, 472-1766
Jeremy Fitzpatrick. Opinion Page Editor
Alan Phelps. Managing Editor
Brian Shellito.Cartoonist
Susie Arth.Senior Reporter
Kim Spurlock.Diversions Editor
Sam Kepfield.Columnist
Out with the old
Economy, not defense, key to our future
A little bit ahead of schedule, President Clinton is starting to
move America out of 20th-century military thinking.
Thursday, Clinton announced a $20 billion defense
conversion program. The plan, which will take place over five
years, is aimed at easing the conversion for industries affected by
defense cuts.
“The world’s finest makers of swords can and will be the
world’s finest makers of plowshares,’’ Clinton said. “And they
will lead America into a new century of strength, growth and
opportunity.’’
Clinton’s program and words are encouraging. The Cold War
is over, and the threats to America’s security now come more
from within than without.
Threats to our standard of living, our quality of life and our
ability to compete economically in a global marketplace are now
as important as any other. If America cannot maintain its eco
nomic strength, our country will decline.
Tanks and planes and missiles will not solve our domestic
problems. They cannot help our economy return to its former
strength.
Defense conversion can. Congress should follow Clinton’s lead
and begin a thorough conversion of our economy from wartime
production levels to that of a country at peace.
“I wasn’t trying to hide from the issues at all. I
felt like I’ve been playing the part in a bad movie. ’’
— Keith Benes, ASUN president-elect, explaining his absence
from the campaign.
“Well, in just three weeks we got more than
1,300 people to vote for us. I don’t see any more
leadership than that.
“What we did in less than one month almost
caught up with what they did in six months. ’’
— PARTY presidential candidate Steve Dietz, after losing by 225
votes.
“You can’t chop down the trees and harvest
them now; it ruins the future. You have to let it go
and prosper for the future. ”
— State Sen. Dave Landis, speaking to students at Tuesday’s
rally at the Capitol before the Appropriations Committee hearing.
“You cannot ask us to cut off our legs and stand
on our own two feet through this thing. ”
— Andy Stock, University of Nebraska at Kearney student regent,
protesting the proposed 5 percent budget cut.
“You can’t do 1990s science in 1930s buildings
with 1960s technology. ”
— University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Graham Spanier,
who brought a 35-year-old microscope from a UNL biology lab to
a hearing of the Nebraska Legislature’s Appropriations Committee
to illustrate the university's need for funding.
“You’re singing to a member of the choir on that
one. ”
— Vice President Al Gore, who appeared at the University of
Nebraska at Omaha on Wednesday, responding to a question on
the environment.
Staff editorials represent the official policy of the Spring 1993 Daily Nebraskan. Policy is set
by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. Editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the
university, its employees, the students or the NU Board of Regents. Editorial columns represent
the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan. They establish the UNL
Publications Board to supervise the daily production of the paper. According to policy set by
the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of
its students.
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor from all readers and interested others.
Letters will be selected for publication on the basis of clarity, originality, timeliness and space
available. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject all material submitted. Readers
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Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448.
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Harris Labs no promised land
UTT he Geese Have Flown!”
And with those words,
another went to Harris
Labs. And another. And another.
Harry Slabs welcomed them all.
“Come, my children,” Harry said,
gathering the brethren. “Come. Eat of
my food. Draw of your blood.”
My commune-mate Brian re
sponded to the call. Dodging busy
signals and fighting to the end, he
made it to the promised land. Accep
tance into a major study. Enough
money for a used Harley or perhaps a
shoulder-to-shoulder tattoo.
“The Geese Have Flown!" he ex
claimed that morning. “Ha-ha!”
“And it is written. There is none
righteous, no, not one,” Harry said.
Then Harry let forth a large belly
laugh, as he was known to do.
And the lambs flocked to Harry,
bearing urine samples every one.
I know many who follow Harry’s
teachings. I’ve dropped them off at
the tabernacle on Rose Street, the
compound where the faithful come to
praise the needle giver.
“Study participants’ entrance,” the
door reads. It is a humble place. But at
the same time, a power, a force, some
kind of presence exists there.
It crawls into a person, and, as it
was crawling into me, I thought of
thalcompound in Waco, Texas, where
a bunch of crazies arc holed up with a
man they believe to be God or some
such thing. I also thought of mint
chocolate-chip ice cream,
And then 1 thought, what is going
on here? What is this thing crawling
into me, and what is this place? An
other messed-up, wacky kind of com
pound? Arc these people going to
start flooding out of this lab-rat fac
tory one of these days and lake over?
“I will take no bullock out of thy
house, nor he goats out of thy folds/’
Harry’s voice called. Tshivcrcd in the
cold wind.
What Brian said
reassured me
somewhat. His
story of Harry
Slabs didn’t smack
of a conspiracy to
turn loyal
Americans into
zombies.
Harry grants his laboratory chil
dren a bed, food, a television and
three pay phones. He gives them com
fort, tells them to turn their heads and
cough, keeps careful track of their
physical well-being and sends them
away with large sums of money and a
T-shirt.
“I will early destroy all the wicked
of the land,” Harry said, chuckling.
I guess I never really believed all
the hype and never really thought that
Harry might be The One until he
healed my commune-male Joel. Joel
showed up at the tabernacle with only
a small rucksack. Harry gave Joel a
new type of ulcer medication and
recorded the results.
Joel wasn’t even aware he had an
ulcer. His stomach never had troubled
him before. But since he left the tab
ernacle, not one ulcer has sprouted—
not even a little one.
Brian is making his way toward
salvation and greater knowledge of
Slabsdom through the testing ofa new
antidepressant sedative.
“You can’t really sit down ...very
too much long without failin’ asleep,”
he mumbled to me over the pay phone.
“I last for 10,15 minutes max without
falling asleep.”
I asked Brian if he thought Harry
was helping his group to sec the light
and heal their inner selves.
“No... probably not. I just keep on
thinkin’ about that money,” he said
slowly. At two in the afternoon, only
six of 27 people in Brian’s study were
awake.
My commune-mate paused, per
haps looking about the room he was in
or maybe sleeping. He then contin
ued:
“Why would you give a depressed
person something that puts them to
sleep?” Brian wondered aloud. He
said that yesterday he attempted to
test the drug by trying to be depressed,
but he couldn’t concentrate.
“All the sudden, I was thinkin’
about bread pudding.”
I wasn’t sure if that meant he was
depressed or not. Bread pudding tends
to give me a case of the blues. Is it
bread or not? It sure as hell isn’t
pudding. I can’t figure the stuff out.
“If he turn not, he will whet his
sword; he tyath bent his bow,” Harry
whispered his song.
What Brian said reassured me
somewhat. His story of Harry Slabs
didn’t smack of a conspiracy to turn
loyal Americans into zombies.
After all, thinking about bread
pudding is one thing, but musing about
earlier bread pudding episodes has a
rather sad quality about it.
, No, Harry is not the savior. His
followers arc not the chosen. In fact,
it sounds boring. Blah.
Phelps is a junior news-editorial major,
the Daily Nebraskan managing editor and a
columnist.
..... .—
Guns
Once again, the Daily Nebraskan
parades its ignorance of issues in
'‘Misrepresentation” (DN, March 2,
1993). On the surface, LB83 is a bill
no sane person would oppose. How
ever, the origin of this child protec
tion act is somewhat lower than its
saintly intent.
Had the author sought to protect
children by punishing parents for their
negligence, they could have started
with the most frequently encountered
tragedies. Household accidents, drug
overdoses, poisoning and bums ap
pear nowhere on LB83. Instead, this
bill specified only one type of inci
dent for criminal prosecution — fire
arms. Firearm accidents arc at an all
time low, following yearly declines
over the last 60 years. Firearm acci
dents involving children arc rare.
Unfortunately, due to the nature of
media coverage, it is sometimes hard
to believe.
Had the legislators involved
authored a proper bill, resistance
would have been minimal and pas
sage probably assured. This bill,
LB83, represents yclanothcr in a long
litany of legislation to generate mud
for slinging rather than a genuine
attempt to secure public safely.
In response to the insidious claim
that the legislators obeyed the NR A, I
can only laugh. If this legislation was
penned with a modicum of common
sense, the committee would have sent
the NR A packing. During the hearing
the public simply pointed out the true
nature of LB 83 and the representa
tives did the rest. Our legislature saw
fit to kill the measure based on its
ulterior motives after proper hear
ings. The only hearing denied was a
special reauest to circumvent the pro
cess by otherwise ignoring the com
mittee hearings. The message was
clear — fancy names and hype will
not pass bad legislation. A true tri
umph of the legislative process.
Scott S. Manhart
graduate student
dentistry
