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Chinese wedding traditions center on
respect, love, emotion, student says
By Kristine Long
Staff Reporter
In a Chinese wedding the bride
wears a white wedding gown, the
groom wearsa tuxedo, and family and
friends are invited to celebrate as the
couple begins their life together.
But that is where the similarities to
a traditional American wedding stop.
Yuk Peng Lee, a UNL student from
Malaysia, said that Chinese couples
have some very different wedding
day traditions.
Lee said most Chinese couples
don’t follow the American engage
ment tradition. Some couples get en
gaged early, she said, but most just
decide to get married and actually get
engaged the day before the wedding.
Chinese weddings, however, are
far from spontaneous.
When a Chinese couple decides to
get married, they must first have per
mission from the bride and the groom’s
family, Lee said.
If both families agree to the wed
ding, the couple must consult the
Chinese calendar to find an appropri
ate wedding day.
“Chinese arc very particular about
this,” Lee said.
She said couples believe that be
cause each person’s fate is different,
marrying on a “bad day,” they may
lead to a troubled marriage.
Another important tradition occurs
the night before a Chinese wedding.
An elderly, happily married lady vis
its the bnde, combs the bride's hair
and tells her the secrets of being a
good wife, Lee said.
The Chinese wedding
feast is usually elabo
rate and expensive,
Lee said. Normally
eight entrees are
served and the meal
lasts two or three
hours.
Then, Lee said, the bride prays to
her anscestors to tell them she is get
ting married and to ask for their help
in making her marriage happy.
On the wedding day, the Chinese
bride has a maid of honor and friends
who help her dress and prepare for the
ceremonies. The groom, dressed in a
formal suit, drives to to get his bride
with a group of his friends. Just like
the American tradition, Lee said, the
groom’s friends decorate his car with
streamers and tin cans.
When the groom and his friends
arrive at the bride’s house, they are
met by the bride’s friends and family.
Lee said the girl’s tease the groom and
try to make him late for the wedding
feast. Then the groom must pay lo
actually get his bride.
Before the bride and groom leave
the bride’s house, the couple kneels
before die bride’s parents and serves
them tea as a symbol of respect.
' This is a very emotional and sad
* be wedding, Yuk Peng said,
when a bride gels married,
she must live with and serve her
husband’s parents.
s- After this emotional tradition, the
bride’s parents place a veil over their
daughter’s head and watch her leave
for the groom’s house. 7 7-^
Unlike the American wedding cer
emony, Chinese couples have the cel
ebration first. Chinese couples don’t
invite friends and fam ily to the formal
union in marriage. Chinese couples
formally sign the marriage papers af
ter the wedding.
The Chinese wedding celebration
is more like the American wedding
reception. It takes place at the groom’s
house where the couple is met by
friends and relatives. Lee said the
older guests give the couple red pack
ets containing money, and the younger
guests give presents.
The Chinese wfcdding feast is usu
al Jfy elaborate and expensive, Lee said.
Normally eight entrees are served and
the meal lasts two or three hours.
During die meal, the bride and
groom stand and greet each guest Lee
said the guests usually try to get the
groom as drunk as possible during the
meal.
Then after the long day, the bride
and groom arc ready for bed. Their
friends lead them to their bedroom,
but trv to delay the couple as long as
possible.
Before the bride and groom go to
sleep, however, Lee said the couple
must place a hen and a rooster under
their bed. If the hen runs out first, the
couple is expected to have a female
child and vice versa if the rooster runs
out first.
•Helps bride with shopping and other details such as invitations and
flowers
•Organizes a shower for the bride
•Helps coordinate bridesmaids and dress fittings
•Helps the bride dress before the ceremony and assists with train and veil
•Is a member of the receiving line and is seated near the bride at the<
reception
p .*•£*;; ao$ Wk ‘r? (41
•Drives groom to the church and helps him dress for the ceremony
•Helps coordinate groomsmen and ushers and their tuxedo fittings
•Keeps the bride's ring until it is needed in the ceremony
•Toasts the bride and groom at the reception
•Sees that ail arrangements are made for the honeymoon, Including
transporting the luggage and double-checking that reservations,
intlneraries and traveler's checks are In order.
Source: Manning a Wedding to Remember by Beverly Clark
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