Lame excuses
New book of alibis lacks entertainment
“Excuses, Excuses”
Leigh W. Rutledge
Plume
“I sometimes drive this fast just tc
meet policemen.”
This is just one of the many ex
cuses Leigh W. Rutledge intends to
amuse his audience with in his hook,
“Excuses, Excuses: A Compendium
of Rationalizations, Alibis, Denials,
Extenuating Circumstances, and Out
right Lies.”
The book, arranged as a collection
of excuses, covers everything from,
“I’d really like to but my gcrbils arc
having babies tonight,” to “I was
framed.”
Rutledge admits that not only docs
he make excuses often, he is also very
bad at making them.
The one redeeming quality of the
book is the ‘‘famous excuse” section.
Here he quotes people like Lee Iacocca
making excuses about Detroit’s resis
tance to tougher automobi Ic standards
in 1974.
Iacocca said, “We’ve got to pause
and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?”
Another quote is from President
Reagan: “Well, Jim, ‘The Sound of
Music’was on last night,”asan expla
nation to Chief of Staff Jim Baker for
why he hadn’t prepared for the
Williamsburg economic summit.
Admittedly, this section is amus
ing. But unless you arc extremely bad
at making excuses, the book, “Ex
cuses, Excuses,” neither helps nor
entertains. And there’s just no good
excuse for that.
— Heather Sinor
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Award
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This Annual award, presented
to one, two or three people (stu
dents, faculty or staff at UNL), is
in recognition of significant con
tributions to the development of
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creative, just, and caring com
munity on the UNL campus.
Nominations for the award may be submitted by anyone associated with UNL
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* \
Brain Machine soothes
By Laura Ray "
Staff Reporter
“The Inner Quest is a bio-feed in
system using light and sound to pro
mote relaxation and alternative learn
• _ »»
ing.
-The Inner Quest Story
When I walked into The Way
Home bookstore, I had just endured
my first six hours at a new job. Every
muscle in my body was a huge square
knot. The sandalwood smell and New
Age music floating around the store
didn’t help relax me much.
This was a stupid idea. I almost
backed out. Then ScotColboum, part
owner of the store, spotted me. It was
too late.
He smiled and explained what I
was getting myself into. This “Brain
Machine” (the Inner Quest, or IQ3)
was supposed to relax me, slowly
edge me into a meditative state.
-44
After a while, I couldn’t
feel the tips of my
fingers.
->t - c
s
He had me sign a waiver form, just ti
to make sure I wasn’t eight months s
pregnant or epileptic. n
Then he showed me the light di
odes inside the sunglasses that would c
flash intermittently while I listened to a
New Age music and a throbbing pulse d
that went in time to the lights.
A strobe light in my face and chant- g
ing in my car, just what I always n
wanted. But, he said I’d get a cup of ti
tea afterwards, so I said OK.
The literature said theta waves, b
which the machine is supposed to in- u
A . • •
Robin Trimarchi/DN
Laura Ray relaxes under the influence of the Inner Quiet 3.
uce, neip spcca learning. I wo re
earchcrs in Tern pc, Ariz. found that
ic machine helped stressed college
ludcnts relax and retain more infor
lation.
The Yoga Journal chides the ma
hinc somewhat: “To one degree or
nothcr, they (machines) all promise
rive-in, fast food McMeditation —
ithout the sore knees.” The Journal
oes on to say that the machines are
ice, but could never replace medita
on.
Scott believes the Journal is right,
c said that the machine could be
>cd in addition to prayer or medita
tion, but there was no replacement for
the real thing.
Scott leaned my chair back and
pushed the start button. The flashing
lights were annoying at first, but I got
used to them.
Then my muscles slowly let go.
My mind wandered to other things.
After a while, I couldn’t feel the lips
of my fingers. The machine worked.
Whether or not you want to pay
$10 for 15-, 30-, or 45-minute ses
sions is up to you. But you geta money
back guarantee from me. Although
it’s still no replacement for a long,
hot, bubble bath.
/\mst paints singers, gives advice
By Sarah Duey
Staff Reporter
. In a maitcrof minutes, Denny Dent
can create a masterpiece. *
With three brushes in each hand,
Dent stroked bright orange pa ini across
a black sheet. As Dent diligently
worked to reggae music. Bob Marlcy
soon appeared on his sheet.
During Dent’s “Two-Fisted Art
Attack’’ at the City Union on Tues
day, hcalsocrcatcd vivid paintingsof
Billy Joel, Albert Einstein and Jimi
Hendrix. Dent was sponsored by the
University Program Council’s Visual
Arts Committee.
His energetic message to students
stressed being creative and finding
what makes one happy in life.
“Wake up and find what you like,”
he said. “Make it an art.”
All people have the right to be
themselves and should lake chances
to find what gives them passion in
their lives, he said.
“It’s not what you do,” he said,
“it’s how you do it”
Below: Denny Dent brought
his “Two-Fisted Art Attack”
to the Nebraska Union
Tuesday. In the back
ground, nis just-completed
portrait of Jimi Hendrix
dries under the lights.
Right: A portrait of Bob
Marley begins to take
shape.
Travis Heying/DN
