Opinion
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Chris Hopfensperger.Editor, 472-1766
Jeremy Fitzpatrick.Opinion Page Editor
Alan Phelps. Managing Editor
Brian Shellito..Cartoonist
Susie Arth.Senior Reporter
Kim Spurlock.Diversions Editor
Sam Kepfield.Columnist
Later last call
Proposed law good for business, safety
For a state senator in Lincoln, it is easy to ignore the potential
benefits of LB287. The state’s capitol is too far from the real
problem that the bill is intended to address. LB287, pro
posed by Sen. Tim Hall of Omaha, would allow bars in Nebraska
to remain open until 2 a.m.
Of course, not everyone in Lincoln is blind to the benefits of
the bill. University of Ncbraska-Lincoln students who go to the
bars will obviously sec the advantage in having an extra hour to
spend at the bars.
That, however, is trivial when weighed against the bill’s true
intent. The benefits to business and safely should be even more
clear to bar owners and patrons across the state. For them, the bill
simply makes sense.
South Dakota is Nebraska’s only bordering state where the bars
close at 1 a.m. That means Nebraskans arc making a run for the
border — and the bars — of Iowa, Missouri, Kansas, Colorado
and Wyoming.
That costs bars anywhere near the border— especially in
Omaha — a great deal of business. LB287 would keep those
patrons and their business at home.
But most importantly, the bill will cut down on the number of
people driving after drinking. Nebraskans will have no reason to
drive across the border and attempt driving home drunk. And
:vcryonc should sec the benefit in that.
“It’s a helluva lot better than state-sponsored
atheism. ”
— ASUN senator Ronald Schmidt on a proposed committee to
decide whether UNL should have prayer in its graduation
ceremonies.
‘What about it? The skies are a lot safer today
for our pilots. ”
v — President Bush in response to a question about half the
targets being missed during the raid on Iraq Wednesday.
“Other than Jesus Christ, Elvis is the most rec
ognized individual in the entire world. That puts
him in some pretty good company. ”
— Kevin Bartholomew, Elvis Presley impersonator.
‘‘Since we have almost a year to go before the
current president steps down, I think any talk of
this is now premature. ”
— NU Board of Regents Chairman John Payne on beginning
the search for a new NU president.
"It takes a lot of shoe leather, but not a lot of
money.”
— ASUN first vice presidential candidate Trent Steele on the
costs of campaigning.
"We’re just trying to take it off the Mercedes and
put it on the station wagon. ’’
— Harry Thomason, co-chairman of the Presidential Inaugural
Committee, on new inaugural events
"They could literally spit on you anywhere you
are on the court, and I’m not so sure they haven’t
tried. ”
— Nebraska basketball player Bruce Chubick on Oklahoma
State’s Gallagher-lba Arena and OSU fans.
Suff editorials represent the official policy of the Fall 1992 Daily Nebraskan. Policy is set by
the Daily Nebraskan Kdilorial Board. Hditorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the
university, its employees, the studentsorlhe NU Board of Regents. Hditorial columns represent
the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan. They establish the UNL
Publications Board to supervise the daily production of the paper. According to policy set by
the regents, responsibility forthe editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of
its students.
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Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448.
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6 Vital’ legislation faces senators
The Legislature is back in town.
Rejoice, fellow members of the
masses!
Our leaders walk among us once
again, and I’m probably about as ex
cited as I get. Bam.
Senators say they expect more than
1,000 bills to be introduced this year
— a record. All of them are gems of
democracy, a testament to the Ameri
can belief that the people can govern
themselves.
Buried among the “change provi
sion for this” and “provide for this and
that” arc a few that shine perhaps a bit
more brightly than their neighbors,
however. Every season, a few bills
stand out from the rest, giving us hope
for the future.
LB 17, for example, would change
provisions relating to apprentice elec
tricians. Take that, apprentice electri
cians! The power of the people cannot
be denied.
LB43 seeks to eliminate provi
sions relating to photoelectric lube
devices for elevators. You know the
kind of trouble brewing with those
puppies. Legislature to the rescue!
If LB 135 went through, inspec
tions would be required of tattoo “es
tablishments.” This is probably a good
idea.
“I sec you have only 267 flaming
skull tattoo patterns on your wall," a
hard-nosed inspector might say, “and
only 143 mystical ladies with large,
exposed breasts. I’m afraid that will
cost you.”
One of the most important bills this
year must be LB 125, which would
prohibit interference with a person
engaged in hunting, trapping or fish
ing. I don’t know how many limes
I’ve been hunting, trapping or fishing
and had to put up with all manner of
bothersome interference.
But if LB 125 passes — and what
My favorite bill of all
is LB341, which
would prohibit the
buying and selling
of motor vehicles
on Sundays. Most of
us agree, I think,
that this has been a
problem that must
be addressed.
senator would vole against it? — then
I’ll be able to set my traps in peace.
Actually, the only traps I ever set are
for mice; but I need a steady hand and
no distractions.
“Shove off!” I’d say to whomever
had the gall to interfere. “As per Ne
braska State Law! A pox on you,
lawbreaker!’’
A seemingly related bill, LB 132,
would redefine fur-bearing animals.
I’m not sure what “fur-bearing ani
mals” might be redefined to. One
might guess the term refers to “ani
mals bearing fur,” which is fine with
me. But I don’t suppose I’d mind if it
were changed to, say, “big of hairy,
smelly critters.’’
Another bill aiming to mess with
the dictionary is LB 146, which would
redefine “Veteran of the Vietnam
War.’’ I’m sure the real reason for
such a measure is steeped in lcgalcsc.
But that’s why we have those crazy
senators running around that big build
ing for us: to keep track of what
everything means.
My favorite bill of all is LB341,
which would prohibit the buying and
selling of motor vehicles on Sundays.
Most of us agree, I think, that this has
been a problem that must be addressed.
Because this bill was my favorite,
I called its sponsor. Sen. Dan Lynch j
of Omaha, and asked him what the
deal was.
Lynch said he didn’t introduce the 1
bill from a religious standpoint, and
added he didn’t care if I drank or
smoked on Sundays.
“If you’re a sinner, you might be
dressed up more on Sunday, but you’re
still a sinner on Monday,” he said.
It seems some car dealers Lynch
has talked to back in his district don’t
like to be open on Sundays, which can
be very slow business-wise. But deal
ers stay open anyway, because of
competition from the other pesky deal
ers.
Lynch said some dealers said ii
would be nice to have the day off. The
senator said he wasn’t hot on the
matter one way or the other, but he
thought he’d introduce the bi 11 and sec
if the industry wanted such a measure.
1 suppose that is state government
at work. Cotton candy for all! Every
body gets a day off!
If we’re going to worry about the
auto dealers, I’d like to see a bill
prohibiting annoying Park Place com
mercials.
Or maybe we could just find a
senator to introduce a bill requiring
everyone to smile and be nice to each
other all day.
Phdps is a junior news-editorial major,
the Daily Nebraskan managing editor and a
columnist.
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