Despair seethes in North Omaha 1 drove home to Omaha this week end. Each time I go, I take the old route —1 Highway 6. I passed all the small Nebraska towns filled with big secrets and the once popular, now practically de .. YJjgQgdj JLinomaJBeach. resort that in the 1950s and 1960s refused to allow black folks in. [As I zoomed east on the latter part of high way and Interstate 80,1 glanced out my window at the subdivisions in west Omaha. The $90,000 to $200,000 homes were lined up in neat rows. Unblemished paint was glued tight to the large, sturdy wooden frames. Even the. fall lawns were manicured and free of leaves. The streets were smooth and free of pot holes, down to the curbs. From the interstate, life there ap peared to be so secure and sheltered. Perfect even, like on television. But I drove past all that serenity. My exit was farther down. The inter state wound around the city like a fence. I drove past 84th Street, past 60th Street, past 42nd Street. Street numbers descended in rela tion to the income, race and social standing of the people who lived on those streets. As 1 neared my exit, I looked again at the houses. These were small, paint flaked and leaning on their founda tions. Some houses stood burned, abandoned and boarded up. Bright yellow condemned signs were tacked to the wooden windows. The lawns in many yards were dirt, where old cars rested idle like lazy metal alligators. Vacant lots dotted the neighbor hood. This is where I call home. The existence I have always yearned to escape from yet am so refreshed to retreat to whenever I can. It’s a paradox of cultures. My fam ily always told me to spend my life trying to escape FROM where I came from. Many of the white people I know, on the other hand, spend their life trying to escape TO where they came from. A lateral vs. vertical life jour ney. The latter journey seems more precarious. Whenever I go home, there is one street that continues to puzzle and sadden me. The infamous 24th Street. Old and-young meg standalongthe crumbled sidewalks. I see the same faces every time I go. The same faces I have seen for years. Ageless. Broken wine and liquor bottles glisten in the morning sun. Trash swirls around the lots where some of the old, black men sit talking about lost dreams, lost opportunities. They are hopeless now. At the stop light I listen and drive away. This is the fabled street that was once cal led the heart of Omaha ’ s black community. When white folks would ask other white folks about where the black folks lived, they would say, “In North Omaha, near 24th and Lake streets.” I used to hang out on 24 th Street (or the Deuce, as we called it) when I was a kid. Me and my buddies were al ways into something, like trying to sneak into movie theaters or standing in front of the ice business on hot summer days, waiting for the ice workers to give us a piece or two. Almost all of the businesses that lined both sides of 24th Street in the 1950s and 1960s were owned by Jew ish businessmen. There were clothing stores, furniture stores,grocery stores, bakeries. I never wondered back then why all the stores and businesses in a black neighborhood were owned and oper ated by white people. Twenty-fourth Street wasa tiny island of white wealth surrounded by a sea of black poverty. That was just the way it was — until 1968. I remember silling next to my bed room window one spring night that year. I was only 6 or 7 years old. Our house was about 2 1/2 blocks away from 24th Street. My brothers, then in high school, ran into the house, hot and angry about something. Shouting. Scream ing. They smelled like smoke. My mother told me to slay in the house. “Why?” “Just stay in the house. Don’t be hardheaded!” Her grave words grabbed me and forced me to obey. Outside my window I saw flames reach into the night air like whips. I heard glass breaking, shattering. Si rens screamed. Dogs barked, not like they do at the sound of a noise, but vicious barks that pushed back their hackles. Above this all, I heard the shouts of men and women and gun shots. I sat there at my window, curious, afraid, wondering what was going on in the heart of the black community. I didn’t know, but I knew it was something horrible, because of the anger in my brothers’ eyes. My brothers raced into the house carrying all sorts of things. One had a new television. Another had clothes draped over one shoulder and shoes in the other hand. Where did they get that stuff? My mother screamed at them. They screamed back. And out they ran again, with base ball bats and chains. The fire burned all night. My broth ers finally came home and stayed. They sal around the living room with their heads in their hands. Tired. Frus trated. Angry. They cried. Martin Luther King Jr. was shot the day before. They were talking about it. Some white man gunned him down. Killed him like an aninjal. The most influential black man — arguably the most influential man, period — of the time, gunned down like a wild dog. My brothers said that when hedied, sodid their hope and his dream. They were con fused and lashed out at oppression and racism. The scars of that night arc still visible all along 24th Street in the vacant lots and crumbling facades. The visceral scars of despait are still visible in the eyes of hundreds of unemployed black men and women who roam the street every day like zombies, their anger extinguished long ago, like the flames of that night in 1968. Moss is a graduate student in anthropol ogy and a Daily Nebraskan columnist. Past presidents live off taxpayers When Bush steps down in January, he will be a former president. You may not have thought about this yet, but unless Dick Nixon or Ronnie Reagan kicks off before then, we will have five — count 'em up, five — former presi dents alive at one time: the aforemen tioned trio pi us Gerald FordandJimmy Carter. a I thought that sounded somewhat unusual. Thai’s a lot of presi dents. A truckload of presidents, perhaps. Al though why they would all go in a truck some where together, I can’t imagine. Maybe a golfcartload of presidents is a more apt description. In fact, the only other time five former presidents have been alive at one time was during Abraham Lincoln’s first term; specifically, un til July 24, 1862, when Marlin Van Burcn finally died. He hung on through eight other presidencies. The average number of presidents alive when a new president assumes office in the United States is 2.46. If our present presidents persist until Clinton takes the reins, the average will rise to 2.58, which I think is something of an accomplishment. It certainly is a boon to the incom ing Clinton. Just think of the vast range of experience and wisdom he can draw upon for advice — every thing from “You think we’ll be able to pull this off, Mr. Nixon?” to “What’s the future hold for Scorpios, Mr. Reagan?” The downside to all these pesky presidents running around is that it costs taxpayers a princely sum. This year, for four presidents, we paid out $ 17.2 million for pensions, protection and other perks, such as presidential offices. * 9 * I’m not really sure what goes on in a Former President’s Office. Reagan has his in L.A., Carter’s is in Atlanta, Ford gets all his work done in Palm Springs, Calif., and Nixon puts to gether paper clip chains outside of New York City. Probably they mess around with the photocopiers and an noy the secretaries. That is, of course, when they don’t have any of that Important Former President Work to do. Everyone knows we don’t have enough bureaucrats messing around with the country al ready — we need to pay past politi cians to lend a hand as well. The Secret Service security former presidents receive is by far the most expensive item we pay for — SI5 million last year alone. And that’s not even counting Nixon, who waived his protection in 1985. That S15 m i 11 ion seems I ike a lot of money to guard three people. Who, for instance, would care about offing Ford? He was there, he was gone, now he’s a footnote. I don’t know how muchof the S15 million goes for Ford, but even if it was a small percentage, say half a million or so, I’d take the job. I’d vigilantly stand guard against those huge hordcsof Anti-Ford Resis tance Group members, not to mention the Die Ford Die party, the Let’s Kill a Meaningless President organization and the I Betcha I Could Shoot Gerald Ford Club. It sounds I i kc there must be a better way of doing this whole former presi dent business. These guys get a pen sion, an office* the Secret Service, a staff and a free “I’m the Grumpiest Former President Before My Morn ing Coffee” mug. Something’s got to give before we have five of them running around. No one can say for certain if there is a connection, of course, but the last lime we had five formers, our nauon was lorn by Civil War. Thai’s the thing about former presidents — you give them an office, a bunch of people with guns, a lot of money and you let them go. Then we expect them to behave. I think we could handle this whole thing much more economically. Now that we’re going to have five former presidents, we might as well rent one house somewhere and move them all there. Nixon and Ford could probably even share a bedroom. It would also make much more sense to have all of their cute, little offices in the same building. Then all of them could carpool to “work,” or better yet, take the bus. They would take turns making sandwiches for each otherevery morning. Someone, maybe George, would have to remember to give Ronnie his Flintstones and cut the crusts off his peanut butler and jelly sflndwich. The wives would be a problem. Maybe they could live across the hall. I don’t know, I haven’t thought through thatquandary yet. Barbara and Nancy would probably have to be separated. When the boys arrived at work, they would be expected to do some thing useful, such as make crochet hats or yarn loop rugs. Ronnie could perhaps fingerpaint. Taxpayers might sec some return on their investment for a change. Realistically, we probably won’t have this problem for very long. Reagan is 81, N ixon and Ford arc both 79, and Carter and Bush are 68. Be fore we know it, we’ll look around one day and find ourselves well under the average former president allot ment, probably. After the huge war, that is. 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