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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Oct. 8, 1992)
M “-TARTUFFE 3^' Translation by Ranjit Bolt Dare to see the play banned by the court of Louis XIV! Q Watch the scheming rascal Tartuffe get his comeuppance in this modern adaptation of Moliere’s classic tale. October 8-10 & 13-17, ’92 8pm ■■■ General: $8 Students & Senior Citizens: $6 OSave with a Season Ticket—on sale through October 17! Howell Theatre g> THEATRE ARTS Ti DANCE (402) 472-2073 sn v Box Office: First Floor, Temple Building, 12th & R Streets ^ U University of Nebraska-Lincoln Use Your Noodle! Spaghetti Recovery • 5tnday through Thursday evenings * Al the spaghetti you can eat smothered with our Original, Thich Itaian sauce /caTiout^ • Pping hot garlc bread & 5alad Bar ou party rooms * for $2.99 «=» 228 n i2th-ijKor> Just 2 BlocKs From Campu; The Nations Top Reggae Band __l Friday, October 9th Saturday, October 10th Dance to the Latest College Rock, Alternative, & Dance with Live D.J., Every Wednesday & Sunday Wednesday - Pay What You Weigh Night (Busch Light) Hop On the Scale for Cost of Your 1st Pitcher, 10 Per Poun< Thursday - 990 Night Longnecks, Well Drinks & Shooter Live Bands Every Thursday, Tonight The Wrex Band 1435'Q1 Street 474-21 Vern’s life, trials and transitions By Charles Lieurance Diversions Contributor Vern’s dad and mom, and my dad and mom, swung. The swinger spot in Lincoln in 1970 was The Congress Inn, at least it was until Vern’s dad, Vern Sr. got fined $200,000 dollars and served two years in jail for running a triple X porno movie/prostitution ring out of some of the rooms. Vern Sr. wasn’t the only one. Apparently all the town fathers from mayor to weed inspector were in on it. Not to men|i<UL the Iowa mafia, which botHKeifTand Vern -I Sr. talked about all ife time. The Iowa mafia runs t the Iowa mafia runs that. But Vern Sr., Ver was low man, a mi no cial whose n book th whore turn wtu the oth Aftcr'prisJ sej&t ini' spade-age lumped tract houl : around 56ih Stn vt indHigAway] TJ»ly siillV w|j ng. or s^ tpeVka id. But Vilfe iwci yiars\had \dd1njbeeh kindfipfcitheioftheiti. Vein Sf, had alway^bten small and jittety. Npw,\ he was virtually hunchbacked ln£l his ne|p\ous[ tHgs made him | un photo j Mrs. Jaeckel had pain. Il was all she talked about, pain. At the mo ment Mr. Jaeckel’s political career collapsed, so did Mrs. Jaeckel’s body. It became impossible to dis tinguish her actual ailments from her clever and plausible hypochon dria. No one wanted to split hairs with her. I lerkidneyandgallstones bobbed like jaundiced goldfish in mason jars on the kitchen window sill. And she cried constantly. On football Saturdays we’d still go to their house and pretend nothing had changed. Mrs. Jaeckel would sit in the corner, lean her head against the wood paneling and cry quietly. My mother kept an arm around her shoulders and cheered the team. By half lime Mrs. Jaeckel would fall asleep, hersunshine-girl, Dottie West hair-do limp and dangling, her lace distended and ner moutn a silent, pink, lipstick “O.” Vern Sr. would walk o\ n u > Vein % eh - h c h - h n cr bis|w|fp would loze off. Vern^fc* and 1 Escaped ti waicfc'Creature FeakiheWitn I >t Sanguinary—Vern tolt^mtdgor w^ fn theiowa mafia —fa Mexican hdrror moyie where a wilwroui of a Vern Leon J^a^ql, Jr. wanted to be a psycnopatn. tie mtormea me he wanted to kill some people the first time he baby-sat me. On weekends before the Jaeckel’s fall from grace, our par ents would go out to the Congress Inn to swing, because Vern Jr. was huge and wall-eyed and had bar bells like a catfish at the age of 11, my parents just assumed he was” older than I was. So he became my baby sitter. As a matter of fact, we were the same age. Vern Jr. said! ’ da name like a killer. Vern Leo ekeljr. You’ve got to have I mes, unless you’re Starkwj e said. “I hate this jrn Jr. said. I think he wa his father. “And the da afia. 1 hate this town foi .t’s Sunday, y’know? Like s dead. No one’s acting body’s act ing like so lse. It’s like 'Invasion o natchers.’” Vern Jr. t bells. You could _ ended *fut the window. SormrkTTji of hall “if mirrors or a fun hotrai Ine^gjjy. jaamkiw iMurt u!>'a Ad cufung a roast, as far as I could $*%■ fNidjtJter dad after dad. We/Were all eati?^ . together. Some hid bigger knivp*, or eleu^cones. Bioughy^tnow where all ijfcse people keep their trash. Tnd Wilsons, the Riddfcsbys, the Coolipigev, they’re Methodists. They keep thei< trash under the sink. TheFla|neiip, the R|erls, the Fausts; they'te Catholic anc; they keeptheirgaibagucar^sin|||open. 1 just wantec^t&Tlik th * It 11 for — II These days were sad. We'd watch our par ents' dirty party games and wink at aeach other like perverts paralyzed from the waist down. - -*t - acting that way." It got worse. During the big Oklahoma game of 1972, Vern’s mom passedon, she and her poodle simultaneously. It was somewhere between the third quarter and a Chevy ad. Three weeks later my dad took us to the Starview Drive in for “Green Blood Night.” There were four movies and we all got little packets of glowing green blood. It was edible. I Vern Jr. and I always watched |novies from theswingsetup front, staring the^^:, distorted t Wr. SS'tftom.” .A .<ijene where a carriage clatters up t]|e winding road to the old castle, the bare, gnarled trees along (lie way are hung with severed limbs^j 1 jiui.iii am anu ivgo / T impaled* tree branches. Vprni. lips are eel dumbly, \ green. Ah o of box whorlsaro d his head. I “I’m gonnafkill 'em all, hante tflcqf# on ihe tre<^> along Sheridan eoule^ vard, just/ike Charlie.” I On hi$ 14th birthday, Vem jun-/ .ior caugttt a frog,T*amied Icfva on its back,stuck ah M-8oin its^iodth and seyred its mouth shy*3rc the fuse with hismom ssewingkit. He sat/the frojkm a slump jh an emptydot where ?'mall is n0W. / I witched, sitrkcaoss-leg^ed icjtwalk. I wasrlTthinking gjljlst like Caril f'ugate. fuse. The frogs eyes bliokpd arid blew up. dslapped his thighM: n thatcarcMo^f you over to that cailioo^n^k I’ll hot wire the cai>and\ gone. I won’t do it^mless 1 hings," Vern tol^jie. e sidewalk, tltfjfogguts* car witfftmL “It’s the pMrfou have tcSi^H^do prlnuokill anyone, but (n’t want to keep Vern from mething memorable. I I | itouiwouiun i, li i uiu, wuuiu \ ! |ol?Tiked. '"We’l get my dad’s belly gun, or a rifle, "lou like the rifle. We shot that quai. You like that rifle?” 1 did,lLe to fire the rifle, warmth the stock a nd the ba rrel reified winterafternoo ns uail feathers flying like glass from a root-beer Spacek played Fugale. on the grave, drank the wine and read back issues of “Famous Mon sters of Film Land.” ^kbfcef and Catholics. Peach wine is rorcStark weather.” ^Ss^lready putting some dis kanflebciweenheandl.bull think I thought about leaving lo^tt a*} bui«,h as he did. I even thplighf JboupKilling people. Hut 1 cduldn’i qperv'that car door. That’sfnow rT ;Vtas./l le called me and loFj^cie l» mbot him at an address on () Streep 1 don’t remember where Jp Street or so. I le was stanc there between a muffler foreign cars and a carpet ^'C’mon,” Vern took mf arr^, took me through dodr, up some stairs into h< wqte black f; * iTTes alt chicken wire s, the wire buoyed udby frail gr wood. They were fathc mida supper, the smell U| puiiv auv ^ fire such c^ ern and I stood in tie hallwa 'ring Vern had the green bio iok on his face. He snook his “Look at . It’s a different kind ofSuiday." - - Mfh wcrfc-ggtting up from the table. As theyopeoed the wire doors to come out.^ieir cages f sonoulta drove in esence of at. It was se I felt its at maybe go on a ;n bigger Slothes fit. e. I never t monster h him for Cemetery weather’s ggerslold ' us they’d taken the tomtxstone off because too many people were visiting. People would be trying to meditate on their loved ones and there would be ten or fifteen kids in leather jackets around Charlie’s grave having a parly. “But I’ll tell ya,” the grave digger said. “It’s plot 36. It’s just where it always was. Stone or not, he’s still down there.” “1 We stood on the spot and Vern ■And I drank peach wine. He com plained about the lack of a proper stone and kicked at the dirt. “Shit, Charlie,” he said. “I’m sorry.” He stared off into the distance and spun around once. He saw it. Two bronze little girls with wreaths in their hair, holding up a sign that read “Babyland.” Vern stumbled in “phreewdle took the rifle out of the car anil began to wander among the litie stone lambs arid the fat mossyfangels of “Babyland.” He/pushed aside the grey and t-r lil/A r» lorlu’c hu 1 r and jbad the sad, idiotic poems carvdd in the stones. He carried the rifle /drooping under his arm. I lookfcd around for the grounds cre^ We seemed to be safe. yern spent an hour wandering amfcng the dead children, of chol erxtyphus, miscarried, premature lt*r| he left the rifle in the grass arm wc drove away. Vern was cry inj.y)3*pur way out of the cem etlr^he looked up at the clock or th« mortuary. “Jesus, why would anybody going to a cemetery, anyone going by a mortuary, want to know whai time it is?” As far as I know Vern nevei mentioned killing anyone again, went over to his house severa times after that and then no more Each lime 1 went he and his father were sitting on the rust shaj of their living room amid thou sands of snipped-oul photograph: of the old monsters — the beas from Cocteau’s "Beauty and th< Beast,” thegill man, Elsa Lancheste as the bride of Frankenstein’s mon ster. They would ask each othe trivia questions about each photo graph and then paste each onto th« black page of a scrapbook for safe keeping. ■ TAILGATE 92 W.C.'s ft ck^icfotk'nrcdL ■92.9*rrci Pre-game tailgate party 9:30 a.m. till 12:30 p.m. »»p»» Before every home game Street . _ _ Get A Pair And A Spare! Duling's special offer on quality eyewear gives you savings to spare for a handy second pair! 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And you can choose your spare pair from a i wide selection of our most popular ‘ frames of equal value up to $100! [ Duling Optical r Eye exam not inducted. Spar* pair muti be tama lent prMcrttion. Second frame of equal value up to $100. PtatOc lantat only;btiocala and cottingi extra. » Sunglataat. tinllng and ottwr lent trammer* axira. No cxhar ditcountt apply. Good ai partidpming locationt only. Saa flora lor complete datatia. 11 Pair And A Spare Contacts Purchase any complete prescription eyeglasses at our regular bw retail price, and we’ll include a pair of Neoflex Thin daily-wear soft contact lenses! Duling Optical Eye exam not Inctoded. Contacts to powers ot -100, Contact ten* preecripton required. Other brands available. No other dsoourts or thtrd-party plans apply. Good at particpainglocationa only. See store for complete details. 17