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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1992)
Diary of a madman j_• __ Leonardo is quite insane.Last night as violinist played Sara sate '5 Zapateado, he added his own obscene lyrics which he sang ir> Piis best Elvis voice The tour ists observed the spectacle m silence A / * F!iJW . sQm/ii/. )2i“rri To get us a table at a crowded outdoor cafe he emptied a bottle of Bcomoseltzer into Tim's mouth .. ...-end began shouting M4DD06!.'.'A£»a ,, THf\}0O°GM As we sat out rh the empty cafe he announc ed that were leaving soon for the Coast. v/? ^eC V He fears the cops are after him for defacing all of the Julio Iglesies concert i posters irt town 4crM&v l A With each passing moment Im reminded , that this is a rna n teetering on the edge of sartt ty <har»k y-* r**r.4? k4 ,-^rr Safety may be a concern on this trip o„<^vT) Vo yoM s5'(fKat b> \aSe’4 *"•"3 to C/^ I-1 | Elvis’ vote may ! shaft ’92 election ■ Once again kiddies, Uncle I Scott is here with rainy day a games you can play with your I home town college newspa I per. Today’s cut up comes B from last week’s rock ‘n’ roll I Issue. See if you can guess ■ what it was about. Just find a column you like I in Diversions, cut it up, and I paste the pieces together. You J can play too, it’s fun! ■ Cut up I By Scott Wesley | As fads even out, im person - ■ ators still have Elvis. L. Bush invokes 11 is Id and makes I humorless politics, we kiss Elvis. 1 But the chasm,embodies Elvis | in our spirit of Elvitalistic exploi 2 tation. Even as it is undying, the I post office makes Elvis mortal. | If 1 le could vole, the election ■ would be over. His own bowels I would be on I lis stamp: his life, I such a mess. ■ His devilishly hand-ruined I body, riding on, old bloated, I destroyed. But it made 1 lim great, . this quasi-electoral fate. ■ As if to complete this young I dream-silliness, we throw out his ■ old, sorry reality. Sure, revere I Elvis, mythologize F.lvis, but at I the same lime, the full tnilh is ■ Mi Wm ■■ ■■ ■■ Mi ■■ iB ■■ I over! Any cheap tabloid would want it that way. Elvis has been the second coming, after all. “Hey, Elvis, what about that Jesus?" “Met him for lunch.” And yet 1 le, the King, and me wouldn’t be seen doing ordinary lunch at Burger King. Only in this column. Elvis’ latest sighting was on the moon. In Vegas, 1 le appeared in the guise most.significant to the King. The movie "Honey I Threw Up the King,” where he upset doz ens of imitators, is overrated. We mock hens like staid King George for not having Elvis’ cha risma, I lis name alone mocking Bush’s moronic shame. Now, Elvis is more than a great companion. I le is a bastion of democrack ‘n’ roll deism. We hold on to our sell- outs, which Elvis should understand. Yet, the young are hardly moved by his sum. Elvis, or the end of Elvis? The majority are addled by his vices, opting for the fame — just like Elvis over there. We continue to compensate for our own ignorance and skip lightly through popularity. Per haps Elvis would yet mock that way. “I will talk to tabloids when we see that today I’m alive.” Imagine that — the King of rock ‘n’ roH burger, eating lunch for the camera. Remember, he is usually spotted in tabloids first. Extraordinary. C wic Provides FREE FOOD for pregnant women, infants, and children under the age of five. POR MORE INFORMATION, \caix: 1-800 WIC-117! I Hairy Continued from Page 16 do nothin’. This little meatloaf and he’s lookin’ at me like I ruined his life. A few midnight walks, nine in the morning. Whocares?Whoam I, Professor Henry Higgins? It’s a dog. “I had to give the dog away, some nice family never owned a dog. He was lookin’ at me all the time, lookin’ at that bathroom door, Hke I’d locked him outta High Mass or something. And I didn’t tell the family see? They start callin’ me, leavin’me messages at work. ‘What,’ they say, ‘this stupid dog uses the can, are you kidding me? Whose dog does that? We look like we want circus animals? We want a little dog for our little boy . . He flicked a lighter in circles around the dead cigarette to no avail. “I have to move eventually. Get an unlisted number. See, I sold the dog. I’m a bastard. I' sold the crazy circus dog to some nice family wanted a puppy for their kids. 30 bucks. I kept the money. I moved. Is that a nightmare or what5’’ I le was done. He scooted down three stools and left it at that. I paid my bill and found I’dstopped shak ing. I left Minneapolis thinking of Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy and Fmma DiAngelo, the Bearded Monkey Lady of 1925. HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AT HOME AT: I \ TRADE A TAPE i Comic Center New Comics every Thurs. close to campus at 145 S. 9th (9th&N) 435-9423 i u /^. ** %«y WARNER BROS prescnis an ATKINSON/KNICKERBOCKER FILMS production a CAMERON CROWE film "SINGLES" BRIDGET FONDA CAMPBELL SCOTT KYRA SEDGWICK SHEILA KELLEY JIM TRUE BILL PULLMAN and MATT DILLON “SPAULWESTERBERG ASSART LINSON "SCAMERON CROWE and RICHARD HASHIMOTO miiSCAMERON CROWE nogg™» i~i PG13(r—bitiitbww. m»n*B«** » -^4 ■■ ■ T ■ 0 | WHO HI > M MUM I A TIMI «MMI IWWTAINMIWT UMTANY ___ COMING SOON _I
