. V
Drug scare
Money bottom line to problem
By Mark Baldridge
Diversions Editor
“Of course I’ve tried mari
juana, but I didn’t inhale.”
In today’s political climate,
admitting to the use of drugs,
even drugs as innocuous as mari
juana, amounts to career sui
cide.
No matter how remote in the
past your drug use was, it can be
held against you on Judgment
Day. It might amount to the
most critical issue were you to
run for public office.
“Are you now or have you
ever been ...”
Top
many of
us are
too
young to
remem
ber the
McCarthy
era. It
was a
time of
purging,
a kind of political spring clean
ing. •
Anyone was suspect. Any cul
tural phenomenon, from the
“British Invasion” to the fluori
dation of tap water was per
ceived as threat.
In those days it was the
Commies that had everyone in a
sweat. But really, of course, it
was never the Commies.
It was whoever was hated
and feared most.
Union- organizers, Jews, so
cialists, intellectuals.homosexu
aIs, 11ol 1 ywoodstars and rock n'
roll musicians: the politically
incorrect of a previous genera
uon.
Today we re in the throes of
a post-Cold War hysteria. The
enemy has vanished, its most
frightening maneuver yet. The
finger that has grown rigid point
ing goes on pointing.
Ihe staggering volumeof pro
paganda on the subject of drugs
and drug use points to this as the
critical fear issue of the decade.
Several years ago the system
limited itself, for the most part,
to pointing out the health haz
ards of specific drugs; there are
many.
Today we are smothered in
blanket statements of the moral
and civic evil of drugs in gen
eral. “Users are losers,” don’t ya’
know.
It’s gotten so that one feels
compelled to point out once
aga i n that any drug can be a bused
and that many are actually help
ful.
'['here is a strong sense in thp
current climate that individuals
can’t be allowed to decide these
things for themselves.
Monoxydyl, the miracle hair
growth drug, is available only
from your doctor. Who knows
what mischief pranksters would
get into were it sold over-the
counter? Just look at the Nair
fiasco.
You can purchase powerful
ratpoisons, handguns, condoms
and beer, but you won’t get
penicillin without a prescrip
tion.
There’s just someth ing wrong
with altering your conscious
ness, no matter how' ancient or
universal the human tradition
behind it. That’s what w e re told.
But don't be fooled; it’s not
about drugs, it’s about money.
Persecution of offenders only
raises the price of the substance.
Remember your Economics 101:
the law of supply and demand.
Assuming the demand for il
legal drugs is a constant, regula
tion against drugs will drive the
price up in direct proportion to
the enforcement of the law. Con
trolled substances are now at an
all-timehigh. Whoismakingthe
billions of dollars on drugs that
are being made each year?
Some people are getting very
wealthy.
The worstthingthat ever hap
pened to the Mafia was the
repeal of prohibition. They
learned their lesson well, I think.
1’hey’ll never again make the
mistake of failing to cooperate
with the system.
And there are perennial and
none too unlikely rumors that
the CIA is involved in the co
caine trade.
And then there are the inner
city kids who have built an
entire culture on the drug trade.
There’s a lot of money to be
made there, and even with its
risks, it beats flipping burgers.
Control ledsu bstances are con
trolled to a certain end, and that
end is the money to be made.
And it makes pretty good
sense to me, too. Were ail illegal
drugs made legal tomorrow, the
L’.S. eccmom y wouId 1 ose one of
its firmest underpinnings.
When I think of all the drug
money spent on Japanese ste
reos, speed boats and flashy cars
in a single year, it makes my
head spin.
For God’s sakctJ keep that
reefer off the shelf!
l;
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Self-proclaimed cultural elite writer
compelled to discuss family values
Last week I heard an interview
with Bob Night, a Washington D C.
lobbyist for family values, on a
National Public Radio show called
Fresh Air.
Although he won’t admit it di
rectly, Bob’s family values, like those
of most politicians, are described in
strangely circular ways. A family is
a mother, a father and their chil
dren, and don’t let the cultural
elites tell you otherwise.
But hey, that doesn’t mean that
other people can’t be families. De
pending on who’s listening, single
mothers and their children may or
may not be families.
If they happen to depend on
pubtic assistance for a few months
after they leave some scumbag who
beat them, they mcxst certainly can
not be a family. "*•
Gay people can’t be a family if
you’re talking to a conservative
group, but they can if you’re talking
to large mixed groups.
As the only self-proclaimed cul
tural elite I'm aware of, possibly the
only one extant, 1 am morally com
pelled to discuss this issue further.
Bob’s family values, don’t you
see, are inextricably linked to fun
damentalist Christianity — a par
ticularly oppressive branch of an
otherwise matured and tamed reli
gion. HesaidtoTerryGrossof.NPR,
in all seriousness, that the relax
ation of divorce laws and the cam
paign toguaranteecivil rights for all
persons— regardless of what they
do in their own private bedrooms
— was “the first step toward the
criminalization of Christianity in this
country." Bob believes this.
Well, Bob, maybe Christianity
should be criminalized. After all,
other lifestyle choices are
criminalized in many stales in many
ft
Today, in the land of
the free, you can lose
your car, home, cash,
bank accounts, plane,
boat or other property
by acting suspicious.
Acting suspicious is
easier to do if you ’re
black, but everyone can
get in on this act.
ways.
In some states in this country, it
is not legal for a man and a woman,
even legally married, to touch their
lips and longue to each others
genitals. Why?
1 wonder if these legislators are
themselves so repressed that they
become aroused while creating
sexually oppressive legislation.
More bizarre and less likely fetishes
are widely accepted among mental
health professionals.
Or perhaps they enjoy oral sex
more if it is illicit. I know I do. Drive
to Michigan sometime and make
love in the back seat of a car and
you’ll see what I mean.
"Oh baby, you know we could
be arrested for this?”
"I hope they throw us in the
same cell . . . forever. ...” Slurp.
Laying aside, for the moment,
the question of whether the gov
ernment of this country has consti
tutional authority to legislate the
chemical compounds that you can
willingly place into your body, let
us consider property rights.
In 198*1. the Congress granted
the Drug Enforcement Agency and
local law enforcement agencies
sweeping powers to confiscate
property that agents suspect is in
volved in the trafficking of drugs.
The laws are called forfeiture laws, j
somewhat euphemistically. Make
no mistake, it is in no way volun
tary.
You don t need to be convicted
of any crime.
You don’t need to be charged
with any crime.
No proof need ever be offered to
any court, no court order of any
kind need ever be obtained.
Y ou don’t even need to be aware
that your property has been used in
committing a crime for which no
one wasconvicted or even charged.
1 haven’t plagiarized that sen
tence from “Catch 22.” This, unfor
tunately, is reality.
Today, in the land of the free,
you can lose your car, home, cash,
bank accou nts, pla ne, boat or other
property by acting suspicious. Act
ing suspicious is easier to do if
you’re black, but everyone can get
in on this act.
If you want to try this, you should
know that the best way to act
suspicious is to p^y for something
in cash —• a plane ticket for ex
ample. Something that the govern
ment would prefer you to use a
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