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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Aug. 28, 1992)
Opindn Nebraskan Editorial Board University of Nebraska-Lincoln . Chris llopfensperger.Editor, 472-1766 Dionne Searcey... .Opinion Page Editor Kris Karnopp.Managing Editor Alan Phelps.. . Wire Editor Wendy Navralil....Writing Coach Stacey McKenzie... Senior Reporter Jeremy Fitzpatrick :...Columnist Final Warning Grace period for illegal parking ending I nivcisity of Ncbraska-Lincoln police have given their final _ . V/warning. * • < > - From here on out, violators will be punished for their parking sins. UNL police issued a grace period for students parked illegally during the first few days of classes. Violators were given warnings rather than citations. * But the warning period, designed to educate new students of university parking rules, is officially over. Students can again look forward to adding to their slack of unpaid tickets. Michael Cacak, interim parking administrator, encouraged stu dents to solve their parking woes by purchasing permits for remote lots. The remote lots arc at 14th and New Hampshire streets, Court Street between 17th and 14th streets, and a lot on the west side of 17th Street, south of the Dcvaney Sports Center. Spaces arc still available in these lots, he said. Shuttle buses slop / in the remote lots about every 12 minutes to transport student within a block of their destinations. Cacak said parking permits for remote lots cost $37 less than in commuter lots closer to campus. He called remote parking a big advantage. “It’s the best deal,” he said. “It’s hassle-free; all you have to do is just drive and park.” ' The key to the problem is much simpler. Don’t drive. Off-campus students lend to think they need a car to make it to class. Such students should examine their options. All they really need is a bike or a bus schedule. Local buses run throughout the city. Buses arc available for elderly and disabled students and faculty. Most of the buses run no later than 7 p.m. But more and more commuters arc getting smart and riding their bikes to class. Lincoln drivers arc adjusting lodriving alongside bikers, and most local side streets arc wide enough for bikers to ride safely. But even environmentally safe biking is not without its problems. Bicyclists must fight daily for space to squeeze their bikes into a rack. Bicyclists arc forced lo park in remote lots of their own. Many bicyclists lock their bikes on the outskirts of campus lo avoid the swarm of students when classes end. Pedestrians and bicyclists often battle it out on narrow sidewalks and pathways. The university needs lo create a more bicycle-friendly campus. Money that UNL plugs into the paychecks of parking-meter readers should go toward the installation of more bike racks across campus. Crowded racks should be replaced with more accessible racks. Administrators should design special bike paths on campus instead of fretting about paving new parking lots. Biking or taking the bus is a logical solution lo a problem that need not exist. UNL officials who spend hours searching for the answer lo parking problems arc obviously on the wrong track. The Daily Nebraskan welcomes brief letters to the editor from all readers and interested others. Letters will be selected for publication on the basis of clarity, originality, timeliness and space available. The Daily Nebraskan retains the right to edit or reject all material submitted. Readers „ a'so arc welcome to submit material as guest opinions. The editor decides whether material should run as a guest opinion. Letters and guest opinions sent to the newspaper become the properly of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be returned. Anonymous submissions will not be published. Letters should included the author's name, year in school, major and group affiliation, if any. Requests to withhold names will not be granted. Submit material to the Daily Nebraskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 140() R St., Lincoln, Neb. 68581J-0448. Staff editorials represenuhe official policy of the Fall 1992 Daily Nebraskan. Policy is set by the Daily Nebraskan Editorial Board. Editorials do not necessarily reflect the views of the university, its employees, the students or the NU Board of Regents. Editorial columrts represent the opinion of the author. The regents publish the Daily Nebraskan. They establish the UNL Publications Board to supervise the daily production of the paper. According to policy set by the regents, responsibility for the editorial content of the newspaper lies solely in the hands of its students. > "•* u<- \ • Stay calm - this is only a test his is a test. I am beginning year No. 5 at this institution. One might think that in time I would have learned many new and wonderful things and maybe had a divine revelation or two. If I have, I don’t remember. I can’t even list all the classes I’ve taken without looking at my transcript. But I’ve learned one thing: How to take a test. I’ve taken essays and multiple choice tests. I’ve taken them after days of studying and after 15 minutes of cramming. I’ve taken them with eight hours of sleep, and I’ve taken them with an eight-aspirin hangover. I’m pretty good at it by now. After all, I’ve had four years of practice. The trick is to know just enough about the subject to blunder your way through the lough parts. Just like real life. This is a lest of the University Bored-casting System. If this were an actual exam, your professor would instruct you to pul your notes and Daily Nebraskan under your seals, grab your pens, sit down and shut up, please, thank you. This is a test to show that while college life and real life may be differ ent, they both boil down to finding the right answer. And a little luck. Remember, this is only a test. 1. You have just finished high school. Your future is a shimmering road before you leading to some un known destination. You should: A. Rely on yourdiploma and God given talent and find a job, asking importantqucstions like: “Would you like fries with that, ma’am?” B. Go to college hnd pursue and degree in medieval handwriting analy sis, and later in your career, ask deep and meaningful questions like: “Would you like fries with that, ma’am?” _ C. Live the vacuous life of a spoiled fast-lane floozy, sponging off your parents and pausing only to pon der: “Do 1 want fries with that?” D. Get off your bull, get some student loans, gel 4 job, get to the university, and sperfd your hard-won class hours saying: “Boy, I wish I could afford someTfries.” 2. Having financially battled your way to the university, you set out on your first day, schedule in one hand, map in the other, to find your classes. No one told you that all large brick buildings look the same and that the signs labeling them are all hidden in the back because the administration wants college to be a challenge. How do you find your classes? A. Pick a hall, any hall, poke your head in every door and say: “Hi, is this University Foundations 101?” B. Wander around aimlessly until someone notices you are lost. After* all, this is Nebraska and there arc people everywhere who will bend over backwards to help you out. C. Stand on the grass and pray for the hand of God to point to your building. D. Tough it out, follow your map and your instincts, and end up some where on East Campus, where the building hunt is even more challeng ing. } ** 3. The plural of syllabus is: A. Syllabuses B. Syllabi C. Sylla-whats? D. Scratch papers 4. So you find your class. The professor passes out the syllabus, syl labi, whatever, and begins lecturing. Ynn A. Write down everything he says, including the “um”s, “weir’s, and “now thcn”s. B. Kick back and doodle on your syllabus. After all, the test isn’t for three weeks. C. For women only: Sit in the front row. Stare alluringly at your profes sor, cross your legs, and pout seductively. It’s fun to make a 50-year-old balding man sweat in front of a large audience. D. For men only: Sit in the front row. Stare alluringly at your profes- * sor, cross your legs, and pout seduc tively. It’s fun to make your class mates who answered “A” fill their notes with “um”s, “wcll”s, and “now lhcn’’s. 5. You’vcdccidcdyourclassschcd ulc needs a little rearranging. Which is the proper Drop/Add procedure? A. Gel a time card, gel some papers processed, get your new sched ule, gel out. No problem. B. Wait in line, gel a time card, wail in line, get some papers pro cessed, wait some more, whoops, pa pers were filled out wrong, wail in line, get new papers processed, wail, whoops, class is now closed, wait in line.... •C. Wait in line, gel a time card, discover you can’t make it at that lime, wail in line, gel a new timecard, can’t make it then either, wail in line, M . L.i V ' _ I get a new card, hold it, this one’s dated 1994, wait in line D. Bribe the volunteer ladies $20 to “grease the wheel” a little. 6. After only a week of classes, you find yourself with no cash to pay rent, eat, or (gasp) buy beer. You should: A. Whine to your parents that you need more money because you arc, like, living your own life now. B. Whine to the bloodsuckers at the plasma center that although you ’ ve opened your veins four times this week already, you just need a little more money for rent. C. Whine to the bloodsuckers at financial aid that although you’ve al ready got a fortune in loans, you just have to have some fries. D. Get a job. If you already have one, get another one. Nobody likes a whiner. 7. You have opted to live off campus and drive to class every day. You should: A. Leave home at 7:45 a.m., even though you don’t have class until 10:30 a.m., so you’ll be sure to get a great parking space. Early bird gets the worm, you know! B. Leave home 20 minutes before your 10:30 a.m. class, so you can cruise the parking lots until 10:29 a.m., when you finally find a space somewhere near Iowa. C. Leave home 5 minutes before your 10:30 a.m. class, so you can pull up in front of a sign that says, “No parking. We mean it!’’They wouldn’t dare low you; after all, there’s no place else to park at this university. D. Drive a tow truck,-c 8. Now for the big question. You’ve made it through years of boring classes, big expenses, bad parking and lousy coffee. You arc about to graduate and dive head first into “the real world.” You should: A. Pray B. Pray C. Pray D. Go to graduate school. And now for the answers. At UNL, there arc no answers, only many shim mering roads we can choose to fol low. Unfortunately, the shine is olten just fresh tar to make the road stickier and trickier, but much more interest ing. " Such is life. Remember, it’s only a test. Pan I man is a senior news-editorial and his tory major and a photographer and colum nist for the Daily Nebraskan.
