^Television network from hell offers little entertainment
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“Stay Tuned”
By Gerry Beltz
Staff Reporter
Does anyone remember lhal se
Movie that asks viewers to ‘stay tuned’ makes them tune out
quence from the 1987 movie “Ama
zon Women On The Moon” where
the husband of a retired couple gets
sucked into his television and is sub
sequently thrown into a few humor
ous situations?
He finds himself on the Weather,
Disney and Playboy channels, and he
becomes a running gag throughout
the film.
Director Peter Hyams (“The Pre
sidio” and “Running Scared”) tries to
stretch this brief piece for more than
100 minutes with his latest release,
“Stay Tuned” (Plaza 4, 12th and P
streets).
A mysterious, black-jacketed sales
man named Spike (Jeffrey Jones)
manages to sign up couch potato Roy
Knablc (John Ritter) for a trial period
of a fantastic satellite system with
666 channels, including the “Home
Shoplifting Network” and “Beverly
Hills 90666.”
Soon, Roy and his wife, Helen,
(Pam Dawber) arc sucked into the
system during a marital spat and learn
that they can escape if they survive
for 24 hours in the system. Otherwise,
they forfeit their souls to you-know
i
who.
Meanwhile, on the outside, Roy’s
son, an electronics wizard, frantically
works to get them out of the televi
sion set.
The goal of the film is camp and
satire, but it is way off the mark.
Sequences meant to be amusing or
suspenseful fall flat.
Ritter, Dawbcr and Jones arc aver
age in their roles and bring little life
or laughs to any of their scenes.
The only redeeming quality in this
picture is the sarcasm aimed at mov
ies, television shows and commer
cials. Some potshots include “Duane’s
Underworld,” “Three Men and Rose
mary’s Baby,” and “Driving Over
Miss Daisy.” Because this network is
programmed from hell, it seeks a
macabre humor.
Two somewhat amusing parts show
the Knablcs stuck in a quasi-”Tom
and-Jcrry” cartoon and Roy trapped
in an episode of “Three’s Company”
(Ritter’s former television show in
which he played the bumbling Jack
Tripper).
Rated PG for general hell-related
themes, it may be a bit much for the
very young viewers.
The best bet, though, is to tunc out
of “Slay Tuned.”
Fall video releases offer fresh alternative
to below-average summer movie season
By Anne Steyer
Staff Reporter
Mediocrity was the name of the
game for the summer fare, but
luckily the first fall home video
t releases beat that rap.
“Memoirs of an Invisible Man”
(PG-13) Chevy Chase is Nick
Halloway, a securities analyst who
becomes invisible after a high-tech
accident.
On the run from CIA agents
who want to turn him into a guinea
pig, Nick enlists the aid of docu
mentary filmmaker Daryl Hannah
to find his lost molecules.
This is a silly little movie, but it
is not without merit. Chase does
some of the best acting he has done
since “Flctch,” and Hannah is not
nearly as irritating as usual.
Director John Carpenter employs
some innovative and interesting
special effects that arc worth see
ing, though they wear a little thin
the third and fourth time around.
(Available now.)
“Medicine Man” (P(I) Sean
Connery is a brilliant, reclusive
and eccentric scientist who thinks
he has found the cure for cancer in
the heart of the Amazon jungle.
Unfortunately, he cannot repro
duce the scrum.
Lorraine Bracco (“Goodfellas’1)
is the headstrong biochemist sent
to check up on his progress. Ini
tially repulsed by his attitudes and
lifestyle, Bracco finds herself drawn
to him and anxious to help him in
his search.
They experience unique con
frontations with both the natives
and the industrialists preparing to
ravage the land. In that way, the
film is not only a romantic adven
ture but it also carries an environ
mental message — industrial de
velopers are burning the rain for
ests that may hold the key to the
cure for cancer.
Scripted by Oscar winner Tom
Schulman (“Dead Poet's Society”),
the story falters a few limes, but the
breathtaking cinematography
compensates for those moments,
as docs the ending, which refuses
to succumb to typical Hollywood
routine. (Available now.)
“White Men Can’t Jump” (R)
Written and directed by Ron Shel
ton, creator of “Bull Durham,” this
movie trades the baseball diamond
for the basketball court in another
story about the complexity of life.
“Cheers’” Woody Harrclson and
“Jungle Fever’s” Wcscly Snipes
star as Billy and Sidney, two hus
tlers on the take on the courts of
L.A. (Available now.)
“Fried Green Tomatoes” (PG
13) Oscar winners Kathy Bates and
Jessica Tandy arc Evelyn and Ninny,
two women who become fast
friends. Ninny passes the time tell
ing Evelyn the story of two other
women in a small, Southern town.
Her story involves Idgie (Mary
Stuart Masterson) and Ruth (Mary
Louise Parker), two young women
who ran the Whistle Slop Cafe
years before. (Available now.)
Sci-Fi authors compile
shared-universe book
“Battlestation: Book One”
Edited by David Drake and Bill
Fawcett
Ace Science Fiction
Anyone familiar with the military
science fiction genre will immedi
ately recognize the name of David
Drake. His “Hammer’s Slammcrs”
series practically created the genre
and made him its pre-eminent master.
“Battlestation” is a shared-universe
book, becoming more common these
days. An author creates an outline for
a background and gets other authors
to share in that universe through short
stories.
“Battlestation” falls in between,
leaning to the well-done end of the
scale.
The background is fairly straight
forward. Fifty years after an interstel
lar war between various factions of
numankina tscc uraxc s i ne rieei
series, Books One through Six), a
new species makes its presence known
by systematically destroying planets.
The Ichtons arc an inscctoid race,
with a hive mentality and a ravenous
appetite for raw materials.
The Alliance considers them a threat
and in response begins construction
of the Stephen Hawking, a Death Star
like mobile base for 10,(XX) troops.
And the war is on.
Drake himself penned a story for
the collection, “Facing the Enemy.”
Other noteworthy entries arc Robert
Schccklcy’s “The Stand on Lumi
nos,” a light comic talc of greed and
one race’s refusal to believe the threat.
S.N. Lewitf s “The Eyes of Texas” is
a tidy puzzle piece in the tradition of
the early masters. Steve Perry adds
“Blind Spot” as a murder mystery,
reminiscent of “Double Indemnity.”
Diane Duane (author of several “Star
Trek” novels) gives a realistic ac
count of a planetary assault in “Killer
Cure.”
On the whole, “BalUcstaiion” is a
good book to pick up and read on a
weekend.
— Sam S. Kepfield
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