—-fr— CHRIS HALLIGAN
True lessons not taught in class
Never will I forget my gradu
ation from high school.
I was thinking, not about my
awesome achievement in graduating,
but how quickly I could make the
summer pass before I was off to glo
rious Nebraska to attend school and
learn a bountiful plethora of informa
tion from the cornucopia of educators
who grace this university with their
presence.
I was ready to be stimulated by
wise John Houseman-like professors.
I was ready to be swept off my feet by
thfe whirlwind of historical facts that
would mold me into an informed citi
zen who, by graduation, would be
ready to make a mark on society as an
educated symbol of the great Ameri
can college student.
Now, as I approach the finish line,
completing four years of an educa
tion that only could be described as
colorful, I find the knowledge that
has truly made a mark on my persona
was not taught to me in a classroom
by a bearded professor.
At the same time, while thesecrash
courses weren’t billed to me on my
tuition statement and weren’t avail
able for registration during one of my
many scrap-scrambling general-reg
istration sessions, these lessons did
cost me a lot, and they were worth
every penny.
Because my English, history, cal
culus and physics (liberal arts physics
that is) classes haven’t offered me
anything more than nap lime, I have
come to the conclusion that if 1 am
ever in a position to create new courses
at this fine university, the following
are what I would offer and why.
More important than that intro
ductory sociology course, more bene
ficial than French 101, these courses
would provide to students, primarily
freshmen, the true lessons of life that
only a college education can provide.
Perhaps one of the most naive things
1 thought after arriving here was that
the school was on my side. Not so. 1
can’t even fathom how much money
this school has robbed from me for
various lame reasons. Because this is
the reality, I would create “How To
Avoid Being Screwed By The Sys
tem 101.”
This course would approach dif
ferent areas of the university that stay
in business by taking advantage of
various students’ naivetd. It will in
form students of how many hours
they have after the free drop-add
deadline before they lose 100 percent
of their tuition. It will tell where stu
dents can purchase textbooks at some
thing lower than the University Book
store’s 300-perccnt-abovc-rctaiI prices.
It also will tell how to avoid the
Mafia-like manipulations in the uni
versity’s policies for debt collection,
including their token threat of kick
More important than
that introductory so
ciology course, more
beneficial than
French 101. these
courses would pro
vide to students,
primarily freshmen,
the true lessons of
life that only a col
lege education can
provide.
ing one out of school if a S5 Health
Center bill isn’t paid within the week.
I figure the university should just
lay it on the line in the first semester
of school on its helpful policies for
students. This course could be in
cluded in the university’s underground
freshmen wccd-outcourse listing that
all New Student Enrollment advisers
get in the summer. Certainly, we would
have a substantial drop in freshmen
p.nrnllmf'nl aftrr ctarlirur thic rnur^
The student financial situation
always has been a hard lesson for
incoming freshmen. These students
couldn’t have dreamed that college
would be such a financial disaster
when they were carrying their heavy
metal posters and stuffed animals up
to their dorm roomsr as if these
memories of high school would sus
tain them through college.
Because Mom and Dad think that
S50 will be enough to carry a student
through a month, the next course I
would offer would be entitled “How
To Stretch Dollars You Do Not Have
150.”
Thiscoursc will be essential for all
incoming freshmen, helping them keep
their heads above the collegiate-fash
ion and materialistic sea. First, we
will address the benefits of credit
cards. Never mind the 21-percent
interest rates, this is free money to
blindly purchase clothing attached to
price tags you used to gag at in high
school.
It will pay for that Padre trip, that
new Cannondale bike you can’t live
without and those compact discs you
need for your new compact disc player.
We will also address the wondrous
benefits of an occasional game of
check tag. Yes, it is a federal offense,
but when you’re getting charged $17.50
for each bad check you write, a bout
of check tag with your best buddy can
save.you literally hundreds of dollars
in bounced-check fees.
In check tag, two people write
each other rubber checks to be depos
ited into their respective accounts.
This fake money will cover all of
those checks you bounced the week
preceding the bouncing itself. Even
tually, of course, you will need to
cover the amount, but the time and
money you buy is essential.
Of course, how to lie on your stu
dent short-term loan application also
will be addressed.
A student learns very quickly that
college and chemical dependency are
one and the same. However, students
may not know how to balance the two
successfully. Therefore, I would of
fer a course entitled “How To Be
Chemically Dependent And Still
Remain In School 181.”
This could very well be the most
important lesson to be learned in
college, because many college stu
dents are inherently alcoholic, or they
indulge in frequent drug use. This is
quite fine, perhaps even healthy, but
can be a detriment to school work.
This class will be dedicated solely
to the secrets of surviving success
fully while under the influence. We
will study various hangover remedies
and how to study successfully while
stoned.
We will talk candidly aboifc the
lapse times of an acid trip. We will
discuss the benefits of excessive caf
icine ana an occasional cigarette. w e
will teach the important lessons that
these innocent freshmen will need to
know to keep them from experienc
ing that bothersome freshmen crash
and burn that often occurs during the
spring semester.
Of course, these three courses
simply would be a start. 1 could use
this entire newspaper to list all of the
other lessons I have learned at col
lege, however hard and unguided they
might have been. Everything from
“How To Avoid An ASUN Election
Successfully” to “How To Anger
Students Through Opinion-Page
Manipulation.”
I truly can say the education that
benefled me the most was the educa
tion never offered in a classroom, so
why not bring it to the classroom?
These classes definitely could save
an innocent freshman the money, hassle
and jail time people such as myself
have had to experience to learn the
important lesson of life.
Halligan is a junior political science ma
jor and a Daily Nebraskan columnist.
Writer should seek facts before judging judge
The topics most columnists for the
DN choose arc usually ones they have
knowledge about. Although the col
umn may read humorously, there is
often an underlying moral to be had.
The column “Judge won’t digest
punishment” (DN, April 6) was obvi
ously written without knowing all the
facts. Unless Mr. Green knows the
judge or was present in the court
room, how can he “judge” the man’s
character or intention? If Green had
gathered all the information (as jour
nalists should), he would know that
the judge’s intention was to motivate
the individual to take advantage of
his opportunities to improve himself.
The individual, who had already had
a prison sentence for the same prob
lem, quit his job because he didn’t
like his boss. What the judge should
have said (and what he meant to imply)
is, “Look at how far the blacks have
come. They have had to suffer a lot,
but because they believe in them
selves and their heritage, they fought
for ihcir respect. You can’t quit every
time you have an obstacle.” After
having this man before him numer
ous limes over the years and failing to
motivate him while his debts increased,
the judge became outraged. As a
dramatic individual, the judge wanted
to use an example of a movement
worthy of recognition. Because he
supports the equal rights movement,
he attempted to show the significance
of staying with what you feel strongly
about in hopes to motivate this man to
fulfill his responsibility as a parent.
1 am not saying Green is a. bad
writer. I make an effort to compli
ment him on his creative ability. It is
one thing to write about Beatrice (his
hometown, I assume). Condemning a
man who was trying to do the oppo
site of what he is accused of is not a
good choice. Perhaps he should have
told the readers how the judge said
that he was sorry he would never have
the opportunity to help those he had
supported his entire life (black Amcri
cans). Or, even the fact that he said
the worst thing that could happen to
him would be to lose the friendship of
his friend and hunting companion,
David, a black teen living next door
who was treated as a son. Maybe
Green could have been in the court
room when the commission met to
review the incident and the judge
wept — not for himself, but for the
African-Americans he had offended
and the reputation his family would
have. This man, who wanted to work
without pay, has indeed suffered.
I realize that I oppose Green’s
topic choice because I know the events
and the people involved. He should
know this information before writing
a column on it. Remember, these arc
people, not just creative ideas. How
ever, this column has helped me be
come more aware of my responsibil
ity as part of the media.
Janelle Hergotl
junior
broadcasting
-LETTER POLICY-:-—
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Letters will be selectee or publi
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Submit material to the Daily Ne
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St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448.
Pro-choice headline inaccurate — -
I don’t know who writes your
headlines, that person either doesn’t
really understand the “pro-choice”
movement or doesn’t worry about
accuracy. The “Crowd hopes to
show support for abortion” sub
head on page 2 Monday, April 6 is
wrong. Members of the pro-choice
movement do not “support abor
tion” — they oppose legislation
eliminating it as a choice. You
don’t need to talk with very many
pro-choice people before you find
a significant number who feel that
abortions are immoral and many
more who feel certain that they
personally could not choose an
abortion, however unwanted their
pregnancy. I would be astonished
if you found any thoughtful propo
nent of abortion rights who feels
that abortions are a good thing.
I would also like to comment
about a statement included in Sean
Green’s column (“Judge won’t
digest punishment,” DN, April 6).
I am troubled by the statement .
. African-Americans with second
class citizens, which is how most
blacks are treated by this country’s
legal system (along with those who
forget to pay child support, of
course).” I quite agree that blacks
are frequently treated as second
class citizens, and not just by the
courts. But the column leaves me
with the impression that Mr. Green
feels that failing to pay child sup
port is no more reprehensible than
being born with dark skin. May I
point out that people who “forget”
to pay child support are breaking
the law? They are committing a
form of child abuse; it is not mere
prejudice that says they should be
treated differently from law-abid
ing citizens.
Alice Teter
editorial associate
Department of Chemistry
Mouth Off
If you have something to say, here is your chance
to espouse your view, become a campus celebrity
and get paid for it.
The Fall Daily Nebraskan
is accepting applications
for columnists.
(JNL does not discriminate in its academic admissions or employment
programs and abides by all Federal regulations pertaining to the same
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