_ 9 - Paul Tisdala/DN
Linden in Lincoln:Protestbackround for friendly fun
By Mark Nemeth
Staff Reporter
“I am so stoned,” Gloria Hyest
said, sitting in her parked car on
the south side of Oldest Park.
“I am so much more stoned,"
Linden Lemon said, sitting in the
seat beside her.
Groover was in the back seat,
sucking on a marijuana cigarette,
staring at a gathering of people up
on the hill.
Lincoln University students and
members of Oldest Park Neighbor
hood Association were sitting in
the trees of Oldest Park while cops
and X-Build construction workers
tried to cut the trees down. Hit
Jackster, the brother’s boss’ father’s
sister-in-law’s friends’ son of the
city’s mayor, owned X-Build, and
with the mayor’s help had arranged
to secure the contract.
Hit Jackster was yelling at a stu
dent in one of the trees.
“Come on down, son; we’re not
planning on cutting that one down,”
Hit yelled.
Linden looked up at the hill and
thought about the differences be
tween what it would be like there
among many people confronting
each other and what it was like
where he was among two people,
mentally comforted and quieted by
marijuana.
“Pass the Groover, Groover,”
Linden said.
Gloria plugged a Bob Dylan tape
into the tape deck.
“Situations have ended sad; re
lationships have all been bad,” Bob
sang.
"I am so stoned,” Gloria said.
“Gloria, like God, is the high
est,” Groover said, laughing.
They all laughed.
“God is the sense of reaching
the peak intensity of every mo
ment," Gloria said.
“Why try to attribute human terms
to God?" Linden asked. “If there
was an omniscient God, then there’d
have been divine intervention by
now, or God is very cruel.”
“Hey, I wasn’t,” Gloria said. “I’m
just into moments.” She laughed.
“God is love,” Groover said,
laughing.
“Music makes a quiet mind. . ..
Take it easy, Linden. Smoke more
pot,” Gloria said.
See LINDEN on 8
Pedantic Man shows
naked truth on trivia
By Mark Baldridge
Staff Reporter
Dear Pedantic Fellow,
I have a peculiar puzzle for a
pedantic person such as you pre
sumably are. What’s the difference
between “naked” and “nude"? My
life doesn’t depend on it; I don’t
have any need to know.
Curious
Dear Cur,
At last we come down to it —
trivia for trivia’s sake. Perfect.
It would seem that the differ
* ence between nudity and naked
ness depends greatly on what you
plan to do with the body thus
unclothed.
I assume you mean the terms in
reference to the human form and
not mice or contracts or weapons,
all Of which are possible uses and
{Meanings for the words.
According to my copy of the
Oxford English Dictionary (an in
valuable tool for the aspiring know
it-all), a naked person in a painting
or sculpture is nude.
By this reasoning, Michelangelo’s
“David” is a big nude man, not a
naked one.
Interestingly, these self-same
works of art may themselves be
called nudes. Here the word is
used as a noun. The above-men
tioned hunk (no pun intended) of
stone would be a nude.
So some artless wit might note
that the nudes in the Sistine Chapel
are all naked.
Your Pal,
Pedantic Man
Pederino, Pedmeister, Pedare
darastonian,
This Christmas I’m going to visit
a friend of mine in Vegas who used
to be a woman and is now a man.
I was wondering what she, uh,
what he, looks like now.
Bashful.
Bash,
1 have a similar friend, I wonder
if I know this friend of yours.
Most women who opt for gen
der change don’t go in for surgery.
There is a strong feeling that sex
change technology is not up to the
challenge as yet.
Generally, they go more for
hormone treatment. If this is the
case with your friend then he may
now look a lot like a muscular
woman with a man’s chest and
beard. Sometimes women receive
a double mastectomy and a hyster
ectomy as an additional change.
If your friend has undergone
phalloplasty, the technique of
constructing an artificial penis (or
"neophallus"), he may look like
almost anything.
Means to this end vary widely,
and it’s hard to keep up with the
changes.
A penis is often constructed from
abdominal fat, with a scrotum
(complete with plastic testicles)
formed from the old labia.
Erections are sometimes designed
into the structure permanently.
Sometimes techniques popular with
impotent males (inflatable devices,
flexible infrastructures, etc.) are used.
An annoying side effect is the
inability of modern medical sci
ence to extend the urethra. That is,
the new-made man will be unable
to urinate in anything but the old
way, sitting down, thus missing out
on the nicest thing about being
male.
P.M.
Engaging Settings by Mastro
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