man 'DM
“The Edwards Ledger Drawings: Folk Art by Arapaho
Warriors," is on display in room 305 of Love Library.
Comedy
Continued from Page 9
someone’s life is accepting the proc
ess and making a little change. So I
use the characters that we all grew up
with.”
The change for McCollum is also
a conflict of fantasy versus reality.
According to him, that is a major
attraction for the audience because it
gives them something they could see
themselves doing.
“I think the thing that people enjoy
most is
the conflict of enjoying the fantasy
characters but living in a real world,”
McCollum said. “It’s a real fine line
between being a little bored and look
ing at life as a mundane process and
just making a little change and having
it be OK.”
Although McCollum hasn’t become
bored with traveling the comedy cir
cuit, he insists it isn’t going to be the
end of the road for him. He would like
to make an album and put his cartoon
voices to real rock music. This would
allow him to try several media.
“It would bring the characters from
the ’40s into the ’90s and give them
an edge,” McCollum said. “And it
wouldn’t be just a cartoon, it would
be a video, so it would get on MTV.
Plus it would play on the radio with
out being seen, so you’d have the
double media blitz.
“People know when they hear me
they’re going to get a show. Il’s not
just me and the microphone, it’s a
show. I’m an entertainer.”
Tickets for tonight’s and Wednes
day’s shows are $10 and arc available
at the door.
Rumors of senior blow-off a myth
Final semester no cakewalk
Everyone hopes his or her final
semester at the University of Ncbraska
Lincoln will be the pinnacle of Di
onysian excess, a perpetual drunk
fest. Well kids, I feel amoral impera
tive to tell you it just isn’t so, that the
myth of the senior blow-off is just
that — a myth.
As a senior graduating in Decem
ber, I speak from the trenches of
experience. One day last month was
all too typical.
I stopped instinctively slamming
the snooze button about 7:30 and skated
across the icy concrete floor of our
basement apartment.
I roused enough energy to crank
the coffee pot on before heading out
side to begin the sacred windshield
scraping ritual, an ancient rite passed
on from our ancestors, who were also
insane enough to live in this kind of
weather.
Admittedly, I was one of the 3
million or so morons who purchased
a commuter parking permit from
campus police. Of course, by about
7:00 each morning, the lots were filled,
so I stood no chance of finding a
parking space.
Since I can’t bear walking all that
distance, I drove the two blocks from
my house to 33rd Street, parked
somewhere in the vicinity and began
my trek on foot.
When 1 reached my composition
class, most of my major appendages
looked like they’d just been through a
decade of cryogenics. The weather
had proven loo formidable a foe for
most students, who opted to skip.
Dismayed by this lack of scholarly
devotion, the instructor launched into
a moral tirade on every subject from
Big Bird to TV to the ancient martial
art of tai chi.
Slobber ran down the chins of the
sleeping students while the others
brooded dejectedly.
After class, I fell the cozy confines
of Love Library calling me. But as I
tried to check out a book, 1 was stalled
at the circulation desk.
“I’m sorry,” the librarian said in a
voice of seeth ing condescension, “but
you have exceeded your fine limit
and we are forced to decline this
transaction.”
“Well,” I whined, “if that’s like a
credit card limit, maybe I could get it
raised?”
“It is not.”
“Okay,” I dared, “How much is
the Fine?”
“$374.” •
“$374! For what?,” I asked.
“Our records indicate ybu checked
out Shakespeare’s first folio on the
23rd and returned it on the 24th.”
John
Skretta
I remembered checking it out to
read “Macbeth.” “The binding was
damaged,” he snipped.
“It’s 370 years old. It was practi
cally falling apart in my hands before
I duct-taped it up,” I explained.
“That’s precisely the damage we’re
referring to.”
“Oh”
“If you’d like, I could hold this
novel until which time you could pay
the full cost of...”
“I can pay the fine, pal,” I told
him. “What do you think, I’m just
some groveling, indigent undergradu
ate who doesn’t have a dime to his
name?”
I didn’t wait around for his re
sponse but ran directly to our student
union, where I called my rich parents
in Connecticut.
Though their funds arc usually lied
up in home improvement projects,
Mom gladly wired me the cash.I re
lumed to the library and wailed in
line to confront the man who had so
coolly turned me out.
“I’m here to pay my fine, Bucko,”
I said in my best Richie Cunningham
bravado.
“I’m sorry,” he grinned, “but this
monitor is not set up to handle mone
tary transactions.”
As you might imagine, by the time
I at last paid the fine, I was ready to
host a book-burning and library-loot
mg test that would nave put i-iiuer s
SS to shame. I decided what I needed
was a nice, hot lunch in a relaxed
atmosphere. Unfortunately, driven by
some fatalistic impulse, I headed to
the Union.
After a lunch of lukewarm spa
ghetti, I slid my way home just in
time to receive a phone call from the
College of Arts and Sciences.
“Is there a Mr. John Scareeeta
residing at this number?,” a com
puter-generated monotone asked.
“Yeah, it’s me.”
“Mr. Scareeeta, you are scheduled
to graduate this December, correct?”
“That’s right,” I said.
“And Mr. Scareeeta, you are work
ing on a senior thesis, correct?”
“That’s right.”
“The deadline for submission of
senior thesis material is this Friday.”
“What?!I demanded. “I was told
it was next month! Are you out of
your mind?”
“This is a recording, number 00644.
Message will repeat,” the machine
said.
“No way,” I thought to myself.
“Is there a Mr. John Scareeeta
residing at this residence?....”
You can imagine my terror ana
panic. I hastily began throwing to
gether a thesis on “Being and Becom
ing in Relation to Sartre’s Nausea,”
which, incidentally, was just how I
was feeling. Unfortunately, I had to
go to the massive retail store where I
am employed. The commercial Christ
mas shopping season is well under
way, trust me.
When I finally returned home that
night, 1 was firmly convinced the rite
(or right) of “senior slough-off’ is
nothing more than a pipe dream, the
lore of legends long since graduated
from UNL’s harrowing halls.
The only consolation I found was
in the words of my idol and inspira
tion Woody Allen, who once remarked
after a particularly tough day, “I need
a Valium the size of a hockey puck.”
Skretta is a senior English major and
Daily Nebraskan A&E Columnist
celebrates Christmas in
the Union today!
Christmas in November? Stop in the
Union and see for yourself. Represen
tatives from Apple are in the Union
today demonstrating the new com
puter products Apple Macintosh has
to offer UNL this holiday season.
Discover the amazing conve
I nience of the portable
Powerbook computers and the
increased speed and memory of the
Classic II personal computers. These new Macintosh
products and many more are on display today at the Apple fair
in the Union. In the spirit of Christmas, Apple will be giving
away free gifts to many of the students and faculty stopping by
the festivities. Don't miss this chance to experience the new
technology of Macintosh and receive free gifts from Apple.
After all, Christmas only comestwice this year!
r For more information contact: ^
The CRC Computer Shop
University Bookstore
Lower Level Nebraska Union
<K> y Hours:8am-5pm j
, . The power to be your best at UNL.
1. “Backdraft’ 1. “The Godfather HT
2. “Silence of the Lambs" 2. “Madonna: Truth or Dare’
3. “Robin Hood: Prince of 3. “Dances With Wolves"
Thieves" 4. “The Doors"
4. “Mortal Thoughts" 5. “One Good Cop"
5. “What About Bob" 6. 'The Hard Way"
6. "V I. Warshawski" 7. “Switch"
7. “Guilty by Suspicion" 8. "A Kiss Before Dying"
8. “Fantasia" ' #. “Silence of the Lambs"
9. “Class Action" 10. "Awakenings”
10. “The Doors"
Recent and requested: ‘Defending Your Life" Rising quickly: “Class Acton”
■ Courtesy of Blockbuster Video ■ Billboard Magazine
Videos
Continued from Page 9
Hawk” was attacked as the worst movie
since “Ishtar." (Available today)
“A Rage in Harlem” (R) Based on a
novel by writer Chester Himes, this story
takes place in 1956 and follows the route of
a gold shipment in Harlem.
Robin Givens (“Head of the Class”) plays
a Southern seductress who has the gold.
Several men vie for her attentions and her
money, including the timid Forest Whitaker
(“Bird”). Also scheming for the loot are a
street-wise con artist (Gregory Hines) and a
David Baddart/DN
^angsterjplaycd by Danny Glover (“Lethal
Billed as a comedy with elements of
drama and action, “A Rage in Harlem” is
helped by a few performances. (Available
today)
“Out for Justice” (R) If it’s got a three
word title, there’s a good chance it’s a
Steven Seagal movie.
Not suiprisingly, Seagal is a cop on a .
mission of revenge. He's looking to get
even with the bad guy that— you guessed it
— murdered his partner.
“Out for Justice” contains the usual
martial arts scenes that accompany Seagal ’ s
films. (Available today.)
