Opinion
^^^.—■
.
i
jj
-LETTERS^ EDITOR
Professor asset to university
After reading Professor Joyce A.
Joyce’sgucst opinion (“UNL basking
in mediocrity,” DN,Oct. 29)and Rich
Ervins’ letter (“Professor shows con
tempt for students, their ideas,” DN,
Nov. 1), I thought it only fair that I
write this letter in support of Joyce.
In the second semester of the 1990
91 school year, I took Joyce’s class in
black women authors. It was one of
the best educational experiences that
I have had at this university, espe
cially in the English department. Not
only did I read some of the best litera
ture ever written, but I was also granted
a chance to see the world through
someone else’s eyes, a chance I don’t
normally get in my other classes. I
wrote in my evaluation of Joyce that
I believed that the class should be
made a general requirement for all
students because Joyce provides
knowledge that students need and don’t
always get.
I think it is also important that I say
that I am a white male student and in
no way was I ever threatened or made
fun of in class discussions, which I
participated in quite often.
I think lhal what has happened to
Joyce is a perfect example of how our
educational system runs. The object
of the game is to “get ‘em through.”
Whether they get an actual education
or not*, I guess, comes second. Noth
ing has been achieved by these stu
dents passing this class except that
they have taken another step toward
graduation without the education lhal
they pay for and deserve.
The last point lhal I would like to
make is, what right docs anyone have
to regrade the tests that Joyce gave to
her students? Docs that person know
exactly what she was looking for in
her questions? I sec this as a direct
abuse of Joyce’s rights.
Joyce is an incredible asset to this
university and to the English depart
ment. I hope that the inexcusable
actions lhal were taken against her in
no way jeopardize her wanting to slay
at this university. It would be a ter
rible loss of a tremendous professor
and an education lhal wc both need
and deserve.
Patrick Piper
junior
advertising
-LETTER POLICY
The Daily Nebraskan welcomes
brief letters to the editor from all
readers and interested others.
Letters will be selected for publi
cation on the basis of clarity, origi
nality, timeliness and space avail
able. The Daily Nebraskan retains
the right to edit all material submit
ted.
Readers also arc welcome to sub
mit material as guest opinions.
Whether material should run as a let
ter or guest opinion, or not to run, is
left to the editor’s discretion.
Letters and guest opinions sent to
the newspaper become the property
of the Daily Nebraskan and cannot be
returned.
Anonymous submissions will not
be considered for publication. Let
ters should include the authors
name, year in school, major and
group affiliation, if any. Requests to
withhold names will not be granted.
Submit material to the Daily Ne
braskan, 34 Nebraska Union, 1400 R
St., Lincoln, Neb. 68588-0448.
VfcU. KT
\j4E- CKH Sfcfc
VMKS^'S
U? TO
/
._^— -»
^ ***■ IfA&uiA rMrcos l
KTE.
.®Ui.T ?fc\9 I
r \ sMrOX RSVUP?*Mfc |
l NA'HOMfcu tACMfcW. \
\--4r
BARY LONGSINE
Supposed epidemic not seen
Some years ago in a dormitory
that shall remain nameless, I
randomly was assigned a truly
offensive roommate.
Without going into loo much de
tail, I’ll just say that intolerant, brain
dead and violent are three adjectives
that could be applied fairly.
Faced with the unpleasant poten
tial of living an entire semester with
this monster, I gave some thought to
the control that I had over my situ
ation. I didn’t want to move out be
cause the only rooms left on campus
were on the noisiest floor of the row
diest dorm. Besides, the housing
department doesn’t like to let people
move just because they don’t like
their roommate. You need a good
reason.
So, I thought, if I don’t want to
move, I need to give him a good
reason.
1 bought candles, some white sand,
a rubber chicken and some fake blood.
Then I went to the library and checked
out the most outrageous books on the
occult that I could find and left them
lying open on my desk and bed.
I wore an upside-down cross as a
necklace for a week, kept the rubber
chicken carefully hidden, alternately
played Mozart’s “Requiem” and the
soundtrack from "The Omen” and
waited. Then Saturday night came.
The Victim always went out drink
ing and always came home between
1:20 and 1:40 a.m. At 1, I made a
pentagram with white sand on the
floor in the middle of the room, lit a
candle at each comer and hung the
rubber chicken — smeared with fake
blood — from the ceiling. I stripped
to a pair of shorts and sat in the
middle, with fake blood on my hands,
neck and face.
The final touch was the satanic
tape. It was actually a recording of a
poem, read aloud from a Latin trans
lation of Biblical poetry. The English
translation begins “Your belly is like
a heap of wheat.”
Read in Latin and piped through a
reverberation amplifier and an equal
izer, this lovely celebration of fertil
ity became a spooky thundering echo
of Satan.
I heard the keys in the door. It
opened.
"What the ...”
On cue, I turned my head to the
door. With my best raspy, possessed
voice, I wheezed,“GhhectOuuhhht!”
He got.
Pardon the redundancy if I say he
never spent another night in the room
and had his things out three days later.
The housing department can be very
kind, especially to a frightened teen
ager who is convinced that his room
mate is the right hand of darkness.
/ wore an upside
down cross as a
necklace for g week.
kept (M rubber
chicken carefully .
hidden, alternately
plaved Mozart’s “Re
quiem’’ and the
soundtrack from
“The Omen’’and
waited.
People are predictably frightened
of the unknown. And, if my experi
ence is any indication, it’s not too
terribly difficult to take advantage of
this fear.
Some people carve careers out of
this fear, lecturing on the Satan circuit
and selling books to large crowds.
They claim that Satanism is on the
rise in America. They claim that as
many as 50,(XX) murders arc commit
ted each year in the United States in
satanic rituals conducted by as many
as 10 million satanists.
Where are these millions of Satan
ists? There arc fewer than 5 million
Mormons,and I’ve met several. There
are about 250,000 heroin addicts, and
I’ve seen some of them, too.
I did meet someone who claimed
to be an cx-Satanisl. He was a 16
ycar-old boy, proselytizing on a cor
ner downtown with a regular comer
Bible thumper.
It was Halloween and I was in
costume. I was “a hippy, going as an
Afghan.” The blanket, not the Asian
nationality.
As I was walking by, he handed me
a pamphlet and said to me eagerly, ‘‘I
was a Satan worshiper. I used to bash
babies’ heads in and drink their blood.”
I said, “Why haven’t you turned
yourself and your fellow Satanists
over to the police?” and, “Why is it
OK for you to be an ex-baby killer
and not OK for me to want to a
downtown bar on Halloween in cos
tume?” and, “Where are all the out
raged mothers whose babies you stole
for your rituals?”
He didn’t really seem to hear me,
but anxiously repeated his startling
claim and insisted that 1 needed to
turn to Jesus.
His wide-eyed urgency convinced
me. I firmly believe that he thought
he was a baby-blood-drinking Satan
ist turned to Christ. But 1 still haven’t
met an actual Satanist.
I did talk to Satan though, that
same night. On the way home from
the bar, I took a different route and
ran into the Church Lady.
Church Lady: “Satan! Satan! Yoo
hoo! Mr. Satan, could you spare us a
moment of your time? I’ve got a
serious non-believer here, doesn’t even
believe in you. I know you’re busy
planning fall fraternity parties and
what-not, but you’ve got just as much
at stake here as we do.”
Satan: (Appearing in the form of
George Bums, in a puff of red smoke)
“Sure, I’ve got a few moments. I am
omnipotent, you know.”
Gary: “Uh, thanks, Mr. Satan. It’s
good of you to take time off your busy
schedule. I’m sure you must be pretty
busy with elections coming up and
all.”
Church Lady: “So tell us, Mr. Satan,
how did you gel to be Satan? Is it a job
you asked for, were there try-outs or
did you just kill the previous devil?”
Satan: “Actually, it’s His idea of a
joke. I was the first angel to ask, if
God is all powerful, can he make a
rock so big that he can’t lift it?’ He
said, ‘All right, smarty pants, find out
for yourself,’ and here lam.”
Church Lady: “Hmm ... I sec ...
So, you were smarting off in choir
practice. Serves you right. Now, about
this satanic worship. Tell us about
that. Mr. Longsine doesn’t believe
there is a rising wave of satanic con
spiracy in this country taking over
day care centers and rock music. What
do you think, Mr. Prince of Dark
ness?”
Satan: “Well, I generally monitor
the writings of Skeptical Inquirer
magazine on the topic, as I consider
the pursuit of truth to be my greatest
enemy. It says that the FBI statistics
pretty clearly rule out thousands of
secret satanic murders. But really, I
don’t understand why I get all this
great press.
“The other day, I saw a speaker on
campus who claimed there was a
correlation between drug activity and
Satanism. Maybe so. There is iso a
definite overlap between drug activ
ity and college. Do I get credit for
college, too? 1 don’t want it, thanks.”
Longsine is a senior international affairs
and economics major and a Daily Nebraskan
columnist.
