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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (July 11, 1991)
\ Arts & Entertainment ¥ ' ' _ ••SittSJiSW-?::-?::: 'WWW VT . »K i.iVUUH” —■ ■ ..I „ Michael Weixel/Dally Nebraskan Sniffling in the sun Summer colds are for idiots a a _:_/i*ii __n ■_ _i___1 n ii ivnu ui iiiiiiv ^i ii van iivi Tara because that’s her real name) recently came down with a sum mer cold. I can’t say that her ill ness made me laugh, but I didn’t exactly feel sorry for her cither. I probably threw out some sin cere sounding platitude like, “Oh, that’s too bad,” while inside, I didn’t really care. Anybody who catches a cold in the summer proba bly deserved it, I reasoned. At some point she said, “I hope you don’t catch my cold,” a plati tude equally sincere as my own. Her actual thoughts were probably more like, “Live it up, you smug bastard — I’m going to lick your toothbrush.” Well, she didn’t lick my tooth U_L V... f_I_J . uiuaii, uui i swmuiuw muiiu^LU iu catch her cold anyway (probably from all that deep longue-kissing). Now a cold in the dead of win ter is bad, but at least you’re ex pecting it. A cold in the middle of summer is a flat-out nightmare. It started as a tickle in my throat on the evening of July 4.1 passed it off as an irritation from inhaling the fumes of too many smoke balls and magic glo-snakes. By the next morning, the virus was in full swing. My chest ached, - my tonsils throbbed and phlegm flowed freely from my pharynx. I woke up early, went to work and silently cursed Tara to her own special room in hell. On Friday night, I, Jim Hanna, The Swingincsl Cal in Lincoln, collapsed into my bed and didn’t , move for two da vs. As per usual when something evil happens in my life, I feel compelled to share my lessons with you. Have you ever read a self-help book that told you how to cope with a summer cold? Of course not — only idiots get summer colds. So, it’s only right that I label my advice: THE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SUM MER COLDS. DON’T USE VAPO-RUB IN THE SUMMER: Even as a kid, 1 knew slathering mv chest with that vano rub crap was pointless. It was just a way for my mom to feel like she was helping her child get better. Still, that shimmering menthol had a hypnotic effect on a sick little boy, an effect that a sick little man was unable to shake. In my agony and desperation Friday night, I was throwing every conceivable medication at my virus rich body, including that insidious rub. Nothing like smearing your chest with a camphor salve and bedding down in 90 degree-plus weather. DON’T TURN ON THE TV: On Saturday, when my cold’s fury was at its peak, I made the error of clicking on the television. Before I knew it, 1 was prone on the couch with a huge glass of water, a pile of cough drops a11vi a ii/iuwtA^ tumiwi. a iiv served as an umbilical cord, at taching my disease-ravaged brain to the video nourishment box. TV can suck you in when you’re well but when you’re ill, it will rob your very soul and feed it to the MTV gods. With the remote, I could at least switch it to CNN when my I.Q. plunged after the eighth Street Block of the day. Still I ran the risk that the virus would rob my last bit of strength at the beginning of Club MTV and I wouldn’t be able to switch the channel. Just play it safe and do a crossword puzzle. IF YOU HAVE AN AIR CON DITIONER. . . USE IT!: My apartment has a poor excuse for central air that struggles 24 hours a day to stay 10 degrees warmer than the outdoors. Still, when you’re stretched out recuperating for hour unrtn hrtur it h#*ln« snmp I knnu/ our parents insisted that we stay warm when we have a cold but in July, you have to make adjust ments. In the winter, you need a few thick quills to be comfortably warm but in the summer, you need an hourly ice bath and 36" fan to stay comfortable, even when you’re sick. The only bonus to the warm weather is that you may be able to suffer heatstroke, which is bound to mute the unpleasantness of your sore throat. DRINK LOTS OF WATER: See HANNA on 11 Movie created for laughs, not Academy Awards “The Naked Gun 2 1/2” Starring Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley gjjr- Rated PG-13 £T\v Grade: B By Steve Pearson Staff Reporter _ There are certain films that you can tell were made in the hope of winning the Best Picture Oscar. “The Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear” is not one of them. Directed by David Zuckcr, “The Naked Gun 2 1 /2” comes from a long line of films made for laughs, not culture. “The Naked Gun 2 1/2” continues the story of Lieutenant Frank Drcbin (Leslie Nielsen). Now in Washington D.C., Drebin is involved in an effort to save the kidnapped Dr. Mcinhcimcr (Richard Griffiths), to whom Presi dent Bush has assigned the develop ment of a national energy policy. As luck would have it, the love of Drebin’s life, Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley) is Mcinhcimcr’s assistant and has been dating Quentin Hapsburg (Robert Goulet), the man behind her boss’ abduction. Zucker uses his usual barrage sight gags, puns, and warped jokes to lam poon everything from Washington politics to Hollywood films, from Dukakis to Diehard. This film is one of those few sequels that out-distance the original. Zuckcr parodies Hollywood with take-offs of the pottery scene from his brother’s “Ghost”, the bicycle silhou etted oh the moon from “E.T.” and the rooftop battle scene from “Diehard.” ' There are some terrific cameo appearances to watch for by Zsa Zsa Gabor and Mel Tormc. Additionally, the film features look-alike actors humorously portraying George and Barbara Bush, John Sununu and Nel son and Winnie Mandela. The run ning gag involving Barbara Bush’ character is one of the movie’s funni est. s Nielsen and Presley have mastered the delivery style necessary to pull off the Zuckcr brand of comedy. Both arc able to deliver their lines with a melodramatic seriousness that adds to the comedy’s punch. The rest of the cast is solid through out, but the real stars if this movie arc the writers—director Zuckcr and co writer Pal Proft. Catch this movie while it is still in the theaters. The Zuckcr movies don’t play as well on video, because half the fun is sharing in the hilarious experience in a crowded theater. If you go, be sure not to miss the funni estcrcdilssincc“FcrrisBucllcr’sDay Off’ and read carefully. This won’t make anyone’s ten best list or lake any Academy Awards, but if you want a lot of laughs on a summer evening, “The Naked Gun 2 1/2” will deliver. “The Naked Gun 2 1/2” is playing at the Cinema 1 & 2, 201 N. 13th Street, and the East Park 3, East Park Plaza Mall, 66th and O streets. Dying Young spews regurgitated themes “Dying Young” Starring Julia Roberts, Campbell Scott t BrrrrRated R ljT\r Grade: B By Julie Naughton Senior Editor Girl gets dumped on by old boy friend. Girl meets new boy. New boy has a baaaad disease. Bui love will conquer all.. . or so the audience is led lo believe. Welcome to “Dying Young.” This is not the masterpiece of the 20th century, bul ii is a good, tcar jerking summer movie Starring 'Julia Roberts as (surprise) a blue-collar babe, Hilary O’Neil, and Campbell Scott as Victor Geddies, her (surprise) upper crust lover with a heart of gold. While the storyline may sound like anyoncofanumberofRobcrts’ films, the acting makes up for the regurgi tated themes. Scotland Roberts make a tremendously likable couple, and because of this, audiences will for- • give the film’s occasionally convo luted plot turns. “Dying Young’’ is based — in this interpretation, somewhat loosely — on the novel by Marti Lcimbach. The screenplay moves Victor and Hilary from Massachusetts to California and (LmI a .. 1mm. t L . > « ▼▼ llivi ; UIUI UIU lll/l VAI31 III lliv novel. In most respects, screenwriter Richard Fricdcnbcrg has done a good job of transforming a book of mostly inner monologue into a tender, sad and at times very funny film. However, he makes two large cr r\ i r.. j;; r; t, j mi vi rrn v 11— * *■ <*-• See YOUNG on 11