Hanna Continued from Page 9 eyed, gel-headed, bad suit-wearing, commie-loving, pimply-faced, gross looking, worthless, gruesome, sni velling, bad-breathed, putrid, grumpy, low-down, stinky snake in the grass who has no clue how to run a parking meter, much less a university. If he is less, he’s nothing. But he’s more, had I more names for badness. Whew! Was that mean enough. Wait, here’s more. Coach Tom Osborne is so shallow and so miserable over his team’s crappy season that he loves to slug back Jack Daniels and Valium while listening to Smith’s songs over and over. He hates the new coaching wonder Danny Nee so much that he keeps a stuffed doll of the basketball chief in his Memorial Stadium office and throws darts at it in between shots of Absolut. And Danny Nee? Don’t even get me started on Danny Nee. Did you know that he likes to dress up like Cher and sing “If I could Turn Back Time” in front of his mirror at home? I swear on a Bible. And Governor Ben Nelson? Few people know that he was abandoned at birth by his parents because he was so damn ugly. They pierced his feet with a leather thong and left him to die of exposure high on Chimney Rock. The future governor was found by a pack of wolves and was raised by them to adulthood. When he was 21, he was found roaming the sandhills with his wolf family. Authorities brought him home, retrained him to be a human and nominated him for governor. The sad thing is, he has not been able to fully rescind his lupine past and still feasts on wild animals. In fact, at least once a month, an entire deer is thrown into his office. He can clean the carcass down to the bone with just his teeth inside 20 minutes. And he’s still ugly. Phil Gosch, AS UN president, is a big weenie. Interim Chancellor Jack Goebel is a pig. The Lied Center still sucks. Love Library is still a hunk of architectural dung. The parking po lice, both at UNL and in the city, are moronic idiots who are lucky to have the jobs they have because Burger King isn’t hiring. UNL city campus is the ugliest campus in the world. All the red, god-awful art structures in the world won’t change that. And what the hell is the Willa Cather Garden? It’s grass! It’s not a garden! This university sucks, and all the people here suck. I hate this place. I can’t wait to leave. There, Ken, I think we all feel better now. Hanna is a senior theater arts major and a Daily Nebraskan senior arts and entertain ment reporter and columnist. Morrissey Continued from Page 9 with its dynamic ups and downs. This, coupled with Morrissey’s unique vocal style and breathy voice, makes for a great album. This pairing makes comparisons to Morrissey’s former group, the Smiths, unavoidable. Though they are very similar, this is not a problem. So much of the Smiths was Morrissey that this similarity seems more of a continuation of his work, rather than a cheap way out of producing some thing new. Morrissey has managed to give us a pleasing collection of well-crafted work with the eclectic style and whimsy that is all his own. “Kill Uncle” gets high marks for its wit and the appre ciable musical talent evident therein. ‘ ‘Experience the Best ’9 ★ ★ Nebraska’s First Technical College ★ ★ Excellent Graduate Placement ★ ★ 20 minutes from Downtown Lincoln ★ ★ Financial Aid and scholarships ★ ★ Active Campus Life ★ ★ On-Campus Housing ★ * Tuition Only $307 per Quarter Southeast community college I Milford Campus Openings in. . . March 27 July 11 • Building Construction • Air Conditioning, Heating • Diesel Truck/ & Refrigeration Construction • Diesel Farm, Truck/Construction • Machine Tool & Design • Electronics • Manufacturing • Electrical Engineering • Electromechanical • Manufacturing Engineering • Surveying & Computer Aided Drafting • Welding We Could Be The Answer! 1 Call Today! * The Milford Campus (402) 761-2131 or (800) 445-4094 (NE) i Hyonae Blankenship/Daily Nebraskan Warlock Continued from Page 9 heroine, Kassandra (Lori Singer). There he learns that she just happens to have one of the pages of a long-lost book of witchery. If he can find the other two pages, he will possess the power to rule the world. Redfeme will have none of that and vigorously pursues the warlock in order to prevent him from finding the other missing pages. Kassandra decides to come with him because that nasty warlock has cast an aging spell on her and she is now 80 years old. After finding the second page at a Mennonite farm (you figure it out), the warlock learns that the last page is in a cemetery in Boston. Redferne and Kassandra are with him every step of the way and they head for a big showdown in the graveyard. While “Warlock” is a bad movie, it does have a sense of humor about itself. There are some genuinely funny moments that seem to have been planned by the movie’s makers. Sadly, most of the the movie’s humorous moments are unintentional. Too many iaughs are generated by the stupefyingly idiotic plot. Some of the biggest belly laughs come from the embarrassingly crummy special effects. Most notable is the flying effect used for the warlock. It is difficult to describe just how ama teurish this effect is, but it is likely that most high school film classes could do better. “Warlock,” the tale of Satan’s son, is a bad flick. Now we can only pray that Satan doesn’t have a daughter too. “Warlock” is playing at the Plaza Four Theaters, 201 N. 12th St. Nebraska rhythmic Brass to pert orm From Staff Reports The Nebraska Brass’s focus on rhythm will continue Wednesday and Thursday with its fifth of six concerts in its 1990-91 concert season. The concerts, titled “Rhythmic Brass,” feature works for brass per cussion. Works ranging from renais sance dance music to rock'n’roll will SPRING BREAK S ALEBR ATION!! WOOLRICH - INSPORT - RUSSELL - TYR CHAMPION - STREETBAGS - GEAR 25% - 50% OFF SALE ENDS SATURDAY, MARCH 30, 1991 I be performed. Joining the group on a variety of percussion instruments will be John Scofield. Scofield is a mem ber of the Lincoln Symphony Orches tra and also teaches music in the Lincoln Public Schools. Concert selections include “To Anacreon in Heaven” by John Staf ford Smith, “Quintet” by Malcolm Arnold, “Early One Morning” tran scribed by Scott Anderson, “Elizabe than Dance Suite” by Anthony Hol bome and “Rondeau” by Jean Joseph Mouret. Members of the group include Dean Haist, trumpet and business manager; Michael Anderson, trumpet; Tim Anderson, french horn; Scott Ander son, trombone and John Thomason, tuba. Performances will begin at 8 p.m. w»^nesday at Kountze Memorial Lutheran Church in Omaha, 2650 Famam Sl„ and at 7:30 p.m. Thurs day at St. Paul United Methodist Church in Lincoln, 1144 M St. Individual tickets arc available at the door. General admission is S7; senior citizens arc S5 and students S3. Downtown Bike Shop [ / J ) (schwmn not available downtown) 1 Lincoln Schwinn Cyclery Lincoln Schwinn Cyclery ^' v->/ 427d??.9lT993th 3321 Pioneer Blvd. ^osbbms** 1517 N. Cotner Discount On 1990 Bikes J 488-2101 464-6952 uiscoum un J9U bikcs io% off or"more "J I Road Bikes Reg Now I | Schwinn Caliento *179^ 5l62P°| | Schwinn Sprints $21495 *193P°| ® Mountain Bikes Reg Now J I Mi Shasta ■ | Arrowhead * 259 f *234 | ■ GT Outpost *2999* *269% J Backwoods * 449 *389 . ■ Fuji Boulevard s 2299 s1999j 15%()R MORE | Road Bikes Reg Now | |Schwinn World * 2699S s 228*-1 | ■ Sports | llVfountain Bike Reg Now I |Serenghcii * 309 95 *264 95| ■Talcra *329*5 *269951 ■Tequesta *499*5 $42495. ■Continuum $4.4995 $39995 I Schwinn KOM s 699 95 s 589 9f* r - — — — — — — — —i -i | Pre-season Tune-Up | | $15.00 | I ($25 Value) I I ‘Adjust Brakes I | ‘Adjust Gears | ■ ‘True wheels ♦Lubricate ‘Tighten Bike ' all parts extra I Expires March 31,1991 I 20% OR MORE | I Road Bikes Reg Now | |SchwinnTravclers $3199$ s254°°| | Schwinn Prelude $44995 5 299^S| "Mountain Bikes Reg Now I ll-adics GTTimbcr)inc399^ S269^| ■ Fuji Vantage Cros* - Fuji Tahoe ■ Fuji Sunt rust i |GTX«u Konm S59995 &»99^| Many more one-of-a-kind bikes at terrific savings: Prices good through March 31 or while supplies last. 17th & ‘H’ St. a No Appointments Necessary 476-9466 f L ■ mil Service Oil Change| Quaker State 10W-30 & ■ Peniuoll — 10W-30 ■ Now For $4 ”995 Only I 8 (Reg. 23.95) 1 ■ * We change oil, oil filter up to 5 quarts ■ I e We lubricate the chassis • We check and fill: transmission fluid, ■ brake fluid, battery luld, power I steering fluid, washer fluid. I • We ch