Bumper sticker wisdom for all occasions
I’ve never understood why we have
bumper stickers. While I patriotically
endorse our God-given right to put
whatever we want on our big, Ameri
can-made cars, I fail to see the point
of slapping sticky labels on our bump
ers.
I take particular exception to bumper
stickers that are supposed to be funny.
For one tiling, they rarely are. I’ve
never really seen a bumper sticker
that was funny.
But even if I found a funny bumper
sticker, why would I buy it and put it
on my car? Am I trying to convince
people that the funny joke on my
bumper is my own? What are we
saying when we put somebody else’s
funny idea on our car? Is this humor
by association?
The way I see it, some idiot is
getting paid a lot of money to sit at a
drafting table and come up with funny
jokes that we’re all trying cash in on.
“Oh, Jim, you’re so hilarious! You
Artifact art
Jim
Hanna
paid money to put some other per
son’s funny joke on your car! Ha-ha!
Take me to your backseat and do me,
do me, do me!”
Writing bumper stickers is a job I
could cope with. As long as there are
political campaigns, wars in the Per
sian Gulf and truck stops, there will
be a market for bumper stickers.
Let this column serve as my offi
cial try-out for bumper sticker em
ployment. If there are any high-pow
ered bumper sticker executives read
ing this, please give my sample writ
ings a look.
Here are some of the funny and
not-so funny ideas I would invite other
people to swipe from me and stick on
their cars.
FOR TOM OSBORNE’S CAR:
“We’re #21!”
FOR MARTIN MASSENGALE’S
CAR: “I didn’t pay for my other car
either” or “Your student fees paid for
this sticker.”
FOR GEORGE BUSH’S CAR: “Kill
an Iraqi, drive your car more” or “I
heart fossil fuels.”
FOR RONALD REAGAN: “I don’t
recall... how to drive.”
FOR VANILLA ICE: “Yo! V.I.P.!
I’m a big fat rip-off!”
FOR WILSON PHILLIPS: “Honk
if you have no talent.”
FOR ANY ASUN PRESIDENT:
“Help! Help! My resumes still too
short!”
FOR NU MEDICAL CENTER
VEHICLES: “I support every
woman’s right to be kicked out of a
cIhss **
FOR WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE:
“What the hell is my folio doing in the
Cornhusker State?”
FOR DAN QUAYLE: “My country
went to war and all I got was this
lousy bumper sticker” or “Where the
heck is Iraq?” (Note: This is the first
Dan Quayle joke I have ever included
in one of my columns, and I am quite
proud of my restraint. I hope to never
tell another one again.)
FOR BEN NELSON: “Damn. I didn’t
really think I’d win.”
FOR THE WAR’S SUPPORTERS:
“I support our war and our troops.”
FOR THE WAR’S OPPONENTS:
“I support the troops but not the war. ”
FOR DEMOCRATIC PRESIDEN
TIAL CANDIDATES IN 1992:
“Well, we sorta support die war un
less something goes wrong and we
support the troops, I guess, and we
support the president until he screws
something up at which point we aren’t
sure we can support him and we want
to support peace if that’s ail right with
the voters. In any event, we’ll need
more time to study the situation. Sorta”
FOR THE NEW KIDS ON THE
BLOCK: “Please take us seriously.
Two of us can buy already.”
FOR NEW DRUG CZAR BOB
MARTINEZ: “We’re so concerned
about human life that we’ll execute
major drug dealers.”
FOR CNN REPORTER WOLF BL
FTZER: “Drinking during pregnancy
can be dangerous to your baby — my
mom was drunk when she named
me.”
FOR ME: “I paid for this car by
writing stupid columns for the Daily
Nebraskan.”
Hanna is a senior theater arts major and
a Daily Nebraskan senior reporter and col
umnist
Sheldon exhibit captures Native American spirit
By Jim Hanna
Senior Reporter
America is in the midst of a guilt
laden revolution in its perceptions
and attitudes toward Native Ameri
can cultures.
While the movie “Dances With
Wolves” attempts to recreate our
Native American past on film, the
Sheldon Memorial Art Gallery’s lat
est exhibit goes directly to the source
to paint a picture of our Native Ameri
can heritage.
“Spirit and Form: Art of Native
America” is a collection of Native
American art and artifacts gathered
from public and private collections in
Nebraska. Representing cultures from
across North America, the exhibition
includes pottery, basketry, blankets,
nigs, beadvvork, masks, carvings, sculp
ture, jewelry, ornaments, implements,
ceremonial costumes and clothing.
The Sheldon collection is a fol
low-up to a similar exhibit last Spring
entitled “Native Visions: Art by Folks.”
“It’s art made by people who didn’t
intend to make art, but by their very
nature have made art anyway,” said
George Neubert, director of the Shel
don Art Gallery.
The selections for the exhibit were
made by Neubert and are intended to
be an aesthetic presentation of Native
American art.
“I selected the objects purely from
their visual impact,” he said. “I se
lected the works that had the most,
I’m going to say, magic, that evoked
an emotion beyond what I thought
was there.”
-M --—
I selected the objects
purely from their visual
impact.
Neubert
director of the Sheldon Art
Gallery
-ft -
While many of the objects in the
exhibit were functional and not nec
essarily intended to be art, many are
so beautiful that it is hard to imagine
they weren’t created with artistic
considerations in mind, Neubert said.
“I think the human need to deco
rate, to make ornate, to beautify and
embellish the world we live in is
natural, whether it be in a civilized
society or a so-called tribal society,”
he said.
Native American artifacts, whether
intended to be works of art or not,
have had a major impact on contem
porary American art movements,
which is one reason why Neubert
believes it is important to analyze
them. Modem artists consistently have
looked to Native American art for
inspiration and the influences have
been significant, Neubert said.
“American artists have long col
lected and looked at Native Ameri
can art and it has had an impact,” he
said.
“(Native American art) symbol
ized a return to nature, a return to the
natural, a return to the innocence, and
I don’t mean to be condescending,
but there is no question that that has
had an impact on American art and
the development of modem art.”
As Americans, we can learn a great
deal about our culture and history by
looking to the sources that influence
who we are, Neubert said.
“It seems that it reflects, hope
fully, a new awareness of the multi
cultural contributions of where we
are now,” he said. “Whether it be
Native American, or actually First
Americans because we’re all basi
cally newcomers to the continent, or
whether it be Hispanic contributions,
whether it be Afro-Americans, whether
it be the new Asian influx, I think it’s
all a part of what we do, or should be
doing as a museum.”
“Spirit and Form: Art of Native
America” will be on display until
March 21.
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He Said
Continued from Page 9
tends to wander. Occasionally, itgoes
into dreams or imaginings without
introducing them — and the audience
is left wondering if the event is hap
pening or if it is simply a dream. If the
rest of the film wasn’t so charming,
this wandering would be extremely
aggravating. As it is, it’s a tad annoy
ing.
Loric, a fast-talking, cerebral lib
1 eral with a dead-on sense of humor, is
often annoyed by Dan’s conservative
‘ and sometimes chauvinistic views.
„ Dan, a boyish, charming guy with a
‘ deep admiration for Wolfman Jack,
! Lincoln
Continued from Page 9
f favorable performing conditions and
sell-out shows are some of the factors
that help to draw in other shows.
thinks Lorie needs to loosen up, but
he likes her.
There is much breezy banter be
tween the two, and at the beginning of
their romance, Lorie laughs every
time Dan kisses her. They argue
constantly; eventually, they end up
with their own TV show, where they
battle it out daily.
Perkins is a riot as the hilarious, if
somewhat neurotic Lorie. Her Lorie
is a more sane version of Holly Hunter’s
character in “Broadcast News.”
Bacon’s Dan is appealing. Dan is
afraid to discuss his feelings and afraid
that a permanent relationship will not
allow him to live life on his own
terms. His fears of what a relationship
might do to him make him wake up
But sometimes the performers are
so unmanageable that they don’t gel
invited back, as was the case with one
performer who added something to a
show that offended many people,
Kuhncl said.
It is performers like these who get
each night at 4:15 a.m., sweating
profusely and crying.
Together, Perkins and Bacon arc
uemendously appealing, easily gloss
ing over any of the film’s shortcom
ings with their on-screen chemistry.
Anthony La Paglia and Sharon
Stone do a great job in supporting
roles.
La Paglia, last seen as the Stevie
Dee in last summer’s “Betsy’s Wed
ding,” does an abrupt turn-around in
this role. As Stevie, he was overbear
ing and obnoxious — but somewhat
likeable. As Mark, a TV production
crew member with a crush on Lorie,
he’s quiet, subdued and supposedly
supportive — but he’s not above tell
passed up even if they want to return
to Lincoln.
Kuhncl said that he is seeing a
decline in the excesses of many per
formers. They are becoming wise as
to the amount of money they waste on
ing a lie lo get on Loric’s good side.
Stone is Linda, Dan’s ex-girlfriend.
While Dan sees her as glamorous and
elegant, Lorie sees her as trashy and
overdone. Different segments show
both sides, and Slone seems to have
fun showing both facets of Linda.
Authentic locales, including the
newsroom of the Baltimore Sun, add
to the film’s appeal.
Newsroom scenes and inside jokes
on the journalism field will make it
easy for most journalists to relate lo
“He Said, She Said.” Journalists will
love this film — everybody else will
like it.
“He Said, She Said” is playing at
the Douglas 3 Theatre, 1300 P St.
things such as liquor they never drink.
Many factors that deal with book
ing concerts lie beyond the power of
the public, but the continued support
of the people can only help to bring
performers to the Lincoln area.
Keynote Speaker:
Human Rights
Advocate
Mike Farrell
Wednesday
February 27
7 p.m.
Nebraska Gnion
Students free with I.D.
Non-Students $1
$3.00 per day (or 15 words on individual student
and student organization ads,
$3.75 per day lor 15 words on commercial ads.
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