Arts & Entertainment
Average Jim not normal by Oprah standards [
Jim
Hanna
Did you see me on The Oprah
Winfrey Show last week?
They were doing a show about
typical Americans, and I was drawn
at random from a telephone book.
Imagine my excitement when I re
ceived a call asking if I would fly to
Chicago and appear on their cross
sectional panel.
I said yes, and the next thing I
know, I’m sitting on Oprah’s stage in
front of her well-groomed studio
audience, nervously awaiting my big
debut on national television.
The show began with Oprah’s peppy
yet melancholy theme song. The
audience began to applaud wildly as
per the signs that flashed over their
heads out of the camera’s sight.
As the applause faded, Oprah began
to speak.
“Hello and welcome to today’s
show,” she said. “Have you ever
wondered if you were normal? Are
you curious as to how you stack up
with the typical American? Of course,
we all want to know just how much
we’re like all other people in the
United States. Well, today you will
get a chance to meet a group of
Americans who we feel can truly be
called representative of all Ameri
cans.
U- . .! K * >- « ! v ’ i Mui
“Our First normal American is Dirk
Visage, a model from Irvine, Calif.”
A polite, Pavlovian round of ap
plause came from the obedient audi
ence.
“Dirk, tell us how normal you are.”
“Well, Oprah, may I start by say
ing that appearances are often not
what they seem. Although I’m well
Hyonae Blankenship/Daily Nebraskan
aware that I’m easily the most gor
geous man on the West Coast, not to
mention this panel, I must tell you
that I have not always been a man.
Just three short years ago, I was Dar
lene, a rather homely woman. When I
realized I was a beautiful man trapped
in an ugly woman’s body, I had a sex
change operation. And may I say,
I’ve never been happier.’'
Compliant applause from the au
dience.
“New, Dirk,” Oprah said. “There’s
something else that makes up who
you are, and I think it’s important that
you share that with our audience.
Could you talk a bit about your mur
der conviction?”
“Well, Oprah, in the despair over
my gender-identity crisis, I lost con
trol of my senses, murdered my par
ents and ate their flesh. As you can
imagine, it’s been very hard for me to
deal with this... this...” Dirk began
to choke on his words as tears welled
in his eyes. “I’m not sure I can go on
“Please do,” insisted Oprah.
“When I think that 1 ate the people
who gave me life... well, that’s hard,
Oprah. That’s really tough, ya know?”
Dirk said as he broke into tears.
Oprah now was crying freely.
“Could I have a moment, please?”
asked Oprah as site attempted to
compose herself.
Dirk quickly spoke up.
“ButOprah, may I say that through
counseling, I’ve come to terms with
my incestuous cannibalism and I am
now willing to accept me for who I
am. I am a transsexual cannibal who
killed my parents, but I’m OK with
that. I can say ‘Hey, I’m me and I like
me and that’s great and I can greet
each new sunrise with a hearty hello
and know that I like who I am.”
Thunderous applause from the
audience.
See HANNA on 13
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“On our show, we have three people
drawn at random from telephone books
around the country. These random
selections, we hope, will serve as a
reflection of all Americans. Let’s meet
our first panelist.”
My belly got all tingly as Oprah
turned to speak to me and my fellow
panelists.
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Kinison reschedules
concert for tonight
From Staff Reports
bans — and protest groups
eagerly awaiting Sam Kinison and
his raunchy brand of comedy were
forced Friday to wail a little longci
to hear the comedian.
Kinison’s Lied Center perform
ancc was rescheduled Friday be
cause of illness. The concert origi
nally had been scheduled for !
p.m. that day.
The concert has been reschcd
uled for tonight. The concert wi
be held at 8 p.m. at the Lied Centc
for Performing Arts, 12th and 1
streets.
All tickets for the previous!
scheduled show will be honored;
tonight’s performance. Full ticket
refunds arc available for patrons
that can’t accommodate the new
date.
To obtain a ticket refund or to
inquire about the availability of
tickets for tonight’s show, contact
the Lied Center Box Office be
tween 11 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. today,
i Lincoln, like other cities Kini
son has visited, had at least one
- group planning to protest before
1 Friday’s performance. Queer Na
r lion Nebraska had been planning
* to meet Kinison with protest signs.
It is not known if the group is plan
y ning a protest before tonight’s per
il formancc.
Kronos quartet awes Kimball audience
with gentle style and Gothic atmosphere I
By Michael Stock
Staff Reporter
Kronos’ talents ranged from the
esoteric to the classical Saturday night
when the sparse Kimball audience
was treated to an enormous range of
offerings including the likes of John
Zorn, Dumisani Maraire and Bo
Diddley.
With the stage set in tones of in
digo and black, Kronos, dressed in
leather and Lycra, set a Gothic at
mosphere that helped carry the per
formance.
Both esoteric and classical cham
ber music fans were awed by the
performance, which was highlighted
by renditions of Maraire’s “Mai
Nozipo” and John Zorn’s “The Dead
Man.”
“Mai Nozipo” is a piece composed
by Maraire, a native of Zimbabwe.
Introduced by dulcet tones of classi
cal-sounding chamber music, the
quartet sounded a bit unnatural at
times, but nevertheless appealing.
The quartet’s style on the piece
was gentle — including the chamber
style plucked strings that gave the
song an inspiring introspective into
the Kronos technique.
The clever integration of rhythm
in the middle of the piece consisted of
syncopated thumping on the wood of
each instrument, recalling the sounds
of Vini Reilly’s Durutti Column.
Zorn’s composition, “The Dead
Man,” included wonderfully fright
ening sounds. They highlighted the
darker hints of Kronos’ nature, which
seemed to dominate much of the
concert.
Sounding like Stravinsky on acid,
the piece showed the sense of humor
of both Kronos and the composer.
Much of this stylistic feel originates
from the large influence Zorn credits
to Carl Stalling’s cartoon soundtracks.
Many of the phrases within Zorn’s
composition — bits and pieces taken
from films and cartoons — sounded
familiar all grouped together as an
ingenious whole.
The finale of the piece was a spar
kling point of the show, as all four
members stopped playing to shake
their bows over their heads in some
insane-looking attempt at rhythm.
Kronos was having fun, and Kimball
audiences loved being a part of it.
See KRONOS on 13
Album by Love and Rockets’ singer disjointed
f "' ...
By James Finley
Staff Reporter
Daniel Ash’s latest record from
Beggar’s Banquet, “Coming Down,”
might better be named “Searching
For My Own Sound.”
Ash, lead singer for Love and
Rockets, seems to be on a quest for
his own sound throughout most of the
album By doing this, he succeeds
only in producing a disjointed album.
Ash opens with an ethereal cover
of the ’50s doo-wop tune “Blue Moon.”
His interpretation is interesting but
doesn’t help Ash set up his musical
identity — an omen for the entire
album.
Next is “Coming Down Fast,” a
§ heavily digitized version of the title
^ track. This track sounds suspiciously
3 like Love and Rockets, partly be
« cause L & R drummer Keith Haskins
5 joins Ash on this track.
S “Walk This Way,” the third cut, is
<2 the best track on the album but doesn’t
o fit in with the other songs. The Latin
« percussion and accompaniment is done
c well and gets a nice groove going for
o Ash. This is also the first time the
° listener gets to hear Ash’s voice un
Daniel Ash
“Coming Down"
Beggar’s Banquet Records
Rating: 3
Ratings are 1 (bad) to S (excellent).
distorted. He has a decent voice and
should let it stand alone more often.
Next is a techno-digi-blues tunc,
‘‘Closer to You.” Ash provides some
good guitar work here and plays blues
well. This song resembles a throaty
version of Robert Plant and the Hon
cydrippers. The lyrics, characterized
by such lines as “Ohh ohh 1/ Just don’t
know why/ That I can live/ Without
your smile/... and maybe that’s the
reason/1 can’t get closer to you," are
simple, but they fit the style of the
song.
Another cover, this lime of the
Beatles’ “Day Tripper,” is next. It’s
not bad, but it lacks the emotion of the
original. It seems loo digitized.
Ash sabotages the sixth track with
his digital tricks again. He kicks in a
heavier guitar sound that makes it
interesting but then goes back to the
distorted voice. He should just sing.
The next four tracks are forget
table, characterized by the dull cover
of “Me and My Shadow.” There is
some good writing on the 10th cut,
“Sweet Little Liar,” such as “I love
the darkness and the shadows/Where
I can be alone/and when I close my
eyes/I can see behind the disguise.”
It’s too bad he minimizes the effect
with overbearing cosmic effects and
a boring choral background.
Someone once said that people
only remember the ending. If that is
the case, Ash has some programming
sense.
The last two tracks of the album
arc pretty good. The acoustic guitar
combined with his true voice makes
“Not So Fast” an interesting lune.
The final, and title track, is one of the
better songs on the album. Ash milks
this mysterious song for all it is worth.
See ALBUM on 14