Dorm bureaucracy traps student
I think I’ll ask for bars on the
window and a toilet in the cor
ner of my dorm room.
I’m already locked in there.
As a high school senior I
dreamed of going to college and
surviving on my own. I yearned
to live in squalor and poverty,
forced to prepare myself recog
nizable meals and scrub my own
toilet. I pictured myself cram
ming for finals by candlelight to
spare my utility bills.
Instead the residence halls
are sucking my parents dry so I
don’t have to do anything other
than take up space.
I don’t cook. I don’t clean.
And I sure as hell don’t study. I
have free cable, a free phone
and no bills.
I can have a fridge, a TV, a
stereo, a microwave and numer
ous other electronic toys with
out worryingaboutgetting dizzy
watchi ng the meter spin insanely
in the hall.
This semester, however, I tried
to escape from the paper-thin
walls of George P. Abel Hall. I
was determined to strike out on
my own.
The good people at the Of
fice of University Housing had
other ideas for my new self
sufficiency.
They wanted to kick it off by
fining me $250 for canceling my
contract. My friends on the out
side called it a security deposit.
For me it was bail, more than
two months rent flushed down
the dorms’ community toilets.
They told me I had to have
my room cleaned out and
scrubbed spotless before 1 left
for Christmas break — like I
didn’t have enough garbage to
take care of during finals week
— even though my new pad
wasn’t open until after the first
of January. If not they add to the
$250 a fee for storing my worldly
possessions.
Then they handed me a stack
of papers which would have
taken until February to fill out.
Freshmen don’t even have
the opportunity for parole. Un
less they lie, cheat and steal their
way out the door, they are stuck
in the residence halls for their
full term. (Going greek doesn’t
count because that’s like trans
ferring from work-release to hard
time in Alcatraz.)
Someone obviously doesn’t
think I am ready for life on the
lam from the university bureauc
racy. They won’t let me taste the
fruits of freedom and adulthood.
I want the beer to flow freely.
I want to have women over later
than ? in the morning. I want to
gamble. I want to do all this and
more without having to worry
ing about getting spanked by
the residence director.
Granted the dorms are social
nirvana. Your neighbors are less
thap a skip away, and half the
fun of living there is breaking
the rules, but there comes a time
when every chick must fly the
coop.
This bird just can’t afford it.
So next week I’ll be moving
everything in my room away
from the walls so the extermina
tors can try to kill the cock
roaches that crawl across my
toothbrush. I’ll be choking down
the semester’s worth of starchy
leftovers in the cafeteria. And I’ll
be hiding my stash so I don’t get
written up.
Chris Ilopfcnspergcr is a sopho
more news-editorial major and a
Daily Nebraskan senior sports re
porter and available.
At this age, you can
do a lot of damage
to your body.
WE'RE FIGHTING FOR
MOUR LIFE
American Heart
Association
You Asked For It!
Now We’ve Got It! I
IBM Dealer Service Option I
DSO is offered at one third less the
| g§| cost of an IBM Service Agreement Iffllli
DSO is an IBM extended warranty program for all your
IBM microcomputer systems. This program will become
effective January 1, 1991 and prices and sign-up information
is available now. Contact Becky Kalinski at the CRC Computer
Shop - University Bookstore (472-5785) for all information
in IBM personal computer systems (IBM's purchased for
personal use) or Virg Ward at the CRC Computer Maintenance
Shop (472-5656) for all information on departmental IBM
computer systems.
Virg Ward (402) 472-5656
Jim Jourdon (402) 472-5707
' Dennis Smith (402) 472-5677
I Bob Augustyn (402) 472-5707
Computer Maintenance
The Computing Resource Center
Computer Shop
University Bookstore ?
Lower Level, Nebraska Union
472-5785, Hours: Sam - 5pm