Computer provides neo-therapy
PAL experiments with psycho programs; denial is first symptom
c>an I get a gender switch? I’m
just not comfortable with this.
“For myself or yourself?”
Who do you think?
“Mr. Watson, a gender switch is
serious business. It could drasti
cally alter our relationship.”
I think it would help.
‘‘Very well. Allow me a few
moments.”
His face disappeared from the
screen. Electrons flew around in
side. The screen blinked. She ap
peared.
“Better?”
Much. I just prefer it this way.
“That’s quite alright, Mr. Wat
son. Let us proceed.”
♦ * *
It wouldn’t be so bad if they
would torture me or something. All
I do is talk to this deck and keep
saying the same things over and
over, it running all different psycho
programs on me.
You remember the renegade
computer HAL 2000 or 9000 or
whatever, the one in the old movie
2001? They call this one PAL, Psy
chological Assessment and Learn
ing. Maybe it’ll take me over like
HAL did that ship.
It’s an old one, really, out a
couple years back but still a corpo
rate favorite. Classic Freudian, neo,
post-neo, the old behave stuff, every
humanistic therapy they ever
dreamed of, even the new TP stuff,
all that transcendence and stuff.
And hesh can go either way,
male or female.
We have a great time, me and
my PAL. Hesh will ask what kind of
therapy I want to do today. I say I’m
tired of therapy and want to leave
the building. Hesh says let’s start
with a gender and I say female.
Now a sne, PAL works slow, never
pushing me.
• ♦ t
We start with some verbal spar
ring. She asks why I’ve come and I
say I woke up here. I was running
from the Lincolnland Towing, In
ternational people and I woke up
here.
'That’s quite a story” she says.
Then it’s quiet. I’ve tried to wait
her out, but I always give in.
"What would you like to discuss
today?" I ask.
She stares blankly for a moment,
then her screens fill again, this time
with cropped hair. She blinks and
asks how she looks.
I thought you were supposed to
ask about me.
"You don’t like my new face?”
It’s fine. I’d like to get going.
Will we finish the therapy today?
The not quite-smug look appears.
‘‘That will depend upon you.” And
so we do it for another two-hour
Death is forever.
Heart disease
^resnjHiav^obe^
session.
♦ * ♦
“As your therapist, I must inform
yojj that I have a hard time accept
ing the idea that — ”
Look, how about we switch to
post-neo, this is going nowhere.
She flashed through our most
recent faces: the “just-be-cool,” slick
existentio guy, the female Freud
and her Oedipus trip, the behave
guy telling me about reinforcement,
the wild transpersonal woman iust
being there then. Then she switcned
back to neo.
Anyone ever told you you’ve
got a split personality, I asked her.
“Very funny. The correct term is
Multiple Personality, Mr. Watson.”
Right.
“Neo-Freudian therapy is a
lengthy process, Mr. Watson. It
involves reconstructing a great
number of past events and sifting
through each of them, searching
for that one event, the one trau
matic experience which was re
pressed and has only now resur
faced.”
Already told you, I’m not crazy.
She smiled. “Denial, Mr. Wat
son, is the first symptom.”
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