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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (April 10, 1990)
Arts & Entertainment Fluffy, far-fetched plot works for comedy By Julie Naughton Senior Reporter _ “Opportunity Knocks” is the story of a con man and how he lucks into the “opportunity of a lifetime.” Along the way. he sells a few bath room fixtures, drives a sweet red Porsche convertible, falls in love and gets involved w ith the mob. Right. Dana Carve), of Saturday Night Live “Church Lady” fame, plays Eddie Farrell, the con man. His room mate (played by Todd GrafD is in debt to the mob for betting, so Eddie helps the guv rob a house to raise the cash. They pick the right house. The man whose house is chosen is off on a month’s vacation to India. When Eddie and friend arc robbing ihe house, ihe houscsilier calls on ihe answering machine to say he can t make it. Eddie and his friend go to pay off the gambling debts, get peeved at the “loan” collector and w reck his car. Unfortunately, the car belongs to the big Mafia boss, and has $60,000 in the trunk The man. after he figures out w here his car went, sends his men after Eddie and his friend. Not wanting to become dead meat, the two split up and go different ways. Eddie returns to the robbed house and assumes the identity of Jonathan Albertson, the housesitter. Jonathon supposedly is one of the house owner’s college friends that his family and friends have never met. But they’ve heard stories. Jonathon (the real one) is a Har vard graduate and a business win/ that every major corporation is alter, as well as a wild man, in a Boston garage band and the former boyfriend of Miss Texas. Eddie steps into the role, glossing mou£_. ^-t REVIEW t— over what he doesn’t know much alxxil and faking the rest. He gulps Chateau Lafite, suggests new marketing tech niques for bathroom fixtures and schmoozes w ith David’s parents, Mill and Mona Malkin (and their beautiful doctor daughter, Annie - this is w/hcrc the love part comes in). At this point, Eddie’s friend is out of the picture -- but later he (and the mob men) come back to finish the score. Bui in the meantime, Eddie is having a great time being David (the homeowner) \s friend. Jonathan Al bertson. Although the plot is a bit far-fetched, it works. The plot has a number of reaches — for instance, if Jonathon was such a good friend of David's, wouldn't his parents have seen pic tures of the guy? - but the goolball acting manages to bree/e through that little problem. And the relationship between Eddie and Annie is charm ing and sweet. Dana Carvey is a riot as the free spiritcd Eddie Farrell. His disarming grin and offbeat actions make this part work. Few other actors could have done a credible job with this role, but Carvey effortlessly pulls it off. I Julia Campbell is charming as Eddie’s love interest, Annie. Although Annie appears to hale Eddie at first, as the movie develops, that changes. Campbell makes the changes believ able. Coming in as Milt, David and Annie's father, is veteran actor Rolxm Loggia. Mill is a baseball-obsessed president of a bathroom fixtures company. Overall, “Opportunity Knocks’’ will not change anybody’s life. It’s not one of those movies that is talked about for years in awed tones. But it is a light, Huffy, appealing comedy for those who don’t want to strain their brains too hard. “Opportunity Knocks” is playing at the Cinema 1 and 2 Theatre, 201 N. 13lh St. -1 Well-placed lies can’t be undervalued So, when I was five, the evil girl across the alley got a new bow and arrow set. My mom knew that little Amy was from the wrong side of the alley, and when she heard about the little hel lion’s new weapon, she strictly for bade me from going over to her house to play. I slyly crccped over to see Amy and her cool new arrows. We sat in her tree house and shot them into the yard, which was a very smart thing to do. If you’re trying to hide from your mom, always go to the highest point you can find and shoot things from it. At one point, Amy ran out of ar rows and told me to go down and pick ■ them all up. Being totally in awe of her and her new implements of power, I tail-waggingly agreed. As I crossed the yard picking up the arrows, sneaky Amy palled out an arrow she had hidden in the tree house, loaded it into her bow and launched it at my tiny body. It hit me in the arm. Being only a slightly older than me, 7-year-old Amy could muster only enough power to send the arrow about a quarter of an inch into my arm. Looking back, I rcali/e just how close I was to serious injury. As it was, I saw that my injury wasn’t loo bad and I only cned and hopped around a little. My first impulse: Run to mom in search of her magical healing pow ers. The quick-thinking Amy, however, saw the error in my 5-year-old analy sis. “You can ’ t tel I your mom. Y ou' re not supposed to be over here.’’ Of course Amy was righL I couldn’t tell my mom. That would be stupid. I needed another plan of action. Amy, using the wisdom that came along with her two extra years of life, laid out the intricate workings of a complex plot that would save my tail. tween my legs. “Lie!” Of course. “Tell your mom that you were in your garage and bumped up against a nail. That’ll work” For a moment, I was struck with Jim Hanna the brilliance of her plan. I stood slack-jawed, marveling at her inge nuity and feeling the first stirrings of my sexual identity which would not be fully formed for at least 30 more years. I remember very vividly going home to find my mother in the kitchen making dinner. If I had shut my mouth, she probably wouldn’teven have noticed my wound. But Amy’s plan was so brilliant that I had to put it into action. “Look mom, I was playing in the garage and 1 bumped into a nail stick ing out of the wall and cut my aim. ’ I had just told the first 1 ie I can ever remember telling my mom. She eyed me for a moment with w hat I thought was suspicion then told me I should be more careful. Then, she served dinner. And that was it. 1 had told my first lie and gotten away w ith it. I was on lop of the world. 1 was the king. I had received one of my first and most important sociology lessons: Lie . . . you might gel away with it. We’re always told we’re not sup posed to lie. The Ten Commandments give lying the same weight ip .in power as chopping somebody's head off. I know I'll probably tell my chil dren that lying is wrong. So w hy do we do it? There literally kind or anolher; yet if wc find out we’ve been lied to, we self-righte ously moan about honesty and trust. I think we need to put lying into perspective. Wc need to distinguish between a good lie and a bad lie. While I know that I’ll tell my kids lying is wrong, if any of them come to me w ith a lame story about bumping into a nail in the garage, I’ll tell them that’s even more wrong. “Jim Jr.,’’ I’ll say. “I don’t want you to lie, but if you’re going to anyway, at least make it a good one.’’ That’s the lesson I learned loo laic in life -- how to tell a good lie. The message that stuck with me from my childhood is don’t lie. Period. For the longest time, I couldn’t tell a constructive lie. I couldn’t say: “I really liked the knit sweater vest you made me, Uncle Lloyd. All the kids at school arc really jealous Instead: “It’s all right, Uncle Lloyd. It’s not my favorite color, and I’d much rather have had the money you spent making it, but maybe we can use it for first base on the playground.’’ It’s time we learned the value of a well-placed, non-destructive lie. The really important thing we must learn about lying is how to respond if we’re lied to and we know it. If it is a harmless lie like “You wear green and black together so well,” wc should let it slide. If it’s a slightly more serious lie like “No, I didn’t sleep with your father,” we should be a little more angry but still attempt to be compassionate. Anyway, these arc my thoughts on lies for what they arc worth. My guess is that nobody will appreciate them and I 'll be told what a scoundrel I am; but I guess that’s why I’m paid so much and command complete respect in my field. Yep. One more lie for the road. Hanna is a senior theater major and Daily Nebraskan columnist and reporter. I Andy Manhart/Daily Nebraskan The Cows fuse music, noise into drooling, deranged show By Michael Deeds Senior Editor There was nothing tranquil about a stage of grazing Cows at Duffy’s Tavern, 14120 St., Sunday night. The Minneapolis-based quartet brought in by Project Import had little in common with the milking mammals, other than the fact that the members attracted flies and drooled occasionally. The Cows, a 3-year-old Am phetamine Repulc record company band, took noise and music and fused it into a blistering sonic warhead. But other than an assault ing deb vcr> of the deranged groove, “Chow,” these Cows had trouble keeping their delivery fresh and piercing. A convoluted mix that gave the benefit of the doubt to a regurgitating bass guitar and steady snare drum made the show a little rough on those recovering from Saturday night sickness. But that’s not to say the Cows weren’t worth the money. Shan non Selberg’s yowling vocals and odd persona were entertaining to most normal folks. Sclberg, a skinhead (not in the racist sense), drew magic marker pictures on his body and sported an ink moustache. He bounced around the stage, periodically spitting and jamming on the most beat up brass instrument imaginable. Bassist Kevin Rutman carried virtually all the tunes with his mid range blast, and guitarist Thor Eisentrager seemed to be talented - it was tough to tell by listening. The Cows exercised in noise pollution, sometimes plodding, sometimes sprinting, as their in struments pushed molecular energy in the room to a breaking point. Opening act Sawhorse gave a good performance, especially on their laughable, crawling cover of “Sweet Home Alabama,” which if anything, resembled a Sub Pop • guys -- Lin Thc Cows certain ly didn ’t harm this town, cither. They are good on vinyl as well as live. However, Sunday night, vinyl may have come out a more “clear” winner. r. 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The Daily Nebraskan reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement at any time which does not comply with the policies and judgments of the newspaper The advertisers agree to assume liability for all contents of all ads printed, as wen as any claim arising therefrom made against the Daily Nebras kan 6 Computers Epson System We re switching to * Mac system, and have a great Epson tor sale, cheap' Epson Equity IU; 20 meg HD, IBM AT compatible (286); 10 megahertz 12" Epson mono chrome monitor with Hercules (graphics) card Epson LQ850 printer (24 pin) and Logitech mouse This is a turnkey system that has been running a small business tor 18 months Heady to plug in and go (Will consider trade for Mac Equipment j $2x50 Call Gene or Sharon a! 477-8458. __ 10 Misc. For Sale ATTENTION HIRING1 Government jobs your area. $17,040 869,405 Call 1-602 838-8085 EXT R4005 ATTENTION GOVERNMENT SEIZED VEHICLES from $100 Fords, Mercedes, Corvettes. Chevys Surplus Buye sGude 1 60? 838 8885 EXT A4005 Cliff • lor Pocket Lighters' 140 N 12th Cliffs for Pinning Cigars!, 140 N 12th I Green Iguana. 3 teat Iona Includes vitamin light 1 and heat rock Very healthy $150 or best offer | 18 Stereos/TVs Nahirmchi car stereo with 4 Alpine spea>ers, $600 Call Mike at 47? 5659 20 Vehicles For Sale 1981 tufiassjamiiyowned Blue, excellent condition, must see 470-3062 1974 Mercedes 230, best offer, 474-1716 n 483-1691 after 6pm. Cars bought tor cash Best prices given up to $1,000 437 7764 days 423-5036 after 6 p.m 22 Adoption ADOPTION California couple with adopted son and lots of love to give desire to adopt newborn Happily married, financially secure l et us help you through this difficult time Legal confidential. Expenses paid all Janet collect anytime. <707)833 1230 Loving California couple and 14 month old daughter. Emily, wish to adopt newborn Legal, confidential, ex penses paid Call Kathy collect anytime at 213 643 6643 Loving, affectionate couple would like lo experience the delights of Disneyland and Camp Snoopy through the eyes of a child Our lives are full, except for a little baby to hug Please call Lois or Jeff 816 996 4688 PREGNANT AND WONDERING WHAT TO DO? E xplore the protection and benefits of adoption which are only provided by a licensed agency No fee lor our confidential services Contact Nebraska Children's Home Society 4600 Valley Road 483 7879 60 Misc. Services TYPEWRITERS WORD PROCESSORS RENTAL SALES SERVICE RENT-TO*OWN BLOOM’S 323 North 13th Street 474-4136 62 Pregnancy PREGNANT? BIRTHRIGHT is a confidential helping hand Tree pregnancy test, please call us for appoint ment. 483 2609 HO Typing & Resumes Resumes by Waunita Watt Please call 467 1011 TYPING Computer Type & Services 1630 Que Street 476-8973 All papers. 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