Editorial
I Daily
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Amy Edwards, Editor, 472-1766
Bob Nelson, Editorial Page Editor
Ryan Sleeves, Managing Editor
Eric Pfanner, Associate News Editor
Lisa Donovan, Associate News Editor
Brandon Loomis, Wire Editor
Jana Pedersen, Night News Editor
Vote for TODAY
Candidates, platform display strengths
The Daily Nebraskan editorial board asks you to vote
TODAY in the ASUN elections.
Deb Fiddelke is easily the strongest pick for ASUN
president. She has proven that she knows how to use the
system to lobby student concerns.
And while she is yet another in a long line of Govern
ment Liaison Committee chairmen to graduate to ASUN
president, she has shown in debates that her motives for
the presidency are genuine.
Yolanda Scott, second vice presidential candidate for
TODAY, is another solid choice. While her speaking style
is not as polished as some of the other politicians’, she
knows the issues and has specific answers to questions
about minority recruitment and retention, on the faculty
level as well as the student level.
Scott also has the contacts with student groups other
than ASUN — a vital part of the second vice position.
Brad Vasa, first vice presidential candidate, is the
weakest link in TODAYr’s platform. He is, however,
enthusiastic. We hope that enthusiasm will continue when
he begins working with the ASUN Senate.
TODAY also offers a more diversified ticket. While it
is far too greek - with a more than 60-40 split, TODAY
has recruited four minority senators for their ballot.
VISION has one on the ballot and STAND has two
minority write-in senatorial candidates.
Some of the strengths of TODAY’S platform are the
following:
•Aggressively pursuing a voting student member on
either the current NU Board of Regents or the proposed
board of trustees on the legislative floor.
•Working for additional full-time professors with an
emphasis on minority and women faculty.
• Establishing a 100-level multi-cultural course and
working for the adoption of its requirement within all
I colleges.
• Creating a Legislative Research Committee open to
all students to assist the ASUN Senate with issues and
legislation.
• increasing the number and availability ot computers.
• Revising the alcohol policy.
The strength in TODAY’S platform is that its ideas are
feasible. And while VISION posed some valid concerns,
it offered few specifics to solve those concerns.
Phil Gosch, presidential candidate for VISION, is
entirely too political. His slate has run the gamut of
middle-of-the-road, politically correct ideas, and the
editorial board doubts his ability to confront regents and
legislators when student concerns do not mesh with theirs.
Joe Bowman, presidential candidate for STAND, is the
most refreshing person in the entire campaign. Bowman
has shown in the last three years - perhaps more than any
other student on this campus - that he truly cares about
the social issues he talks about and is not afraid to fight
for them.
His downfall is a lack of experience within the system.
He reacts quickly, and his ideas are innovative and nec
essary for change in ASUN, and TODAY should work
with Bowman to incorporate those ideas in the new
government
Bowman himself is vital to whatever form ASUN
takes. If the new executives do not tap his ideas and
energy, they will be the ones who lose.
•• The Daily Nebraskan editoriol board
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Nelson comes to a conclusion I
National Orgasm Week and ASUN elections have similaritiesI
A bout a month ago, I received a
ZA letter from a student accusing
^ ^mc of being flippant. The stu
dent said I should address more is
sues. “That’s what columnsare for,”
she said. She also said I split infini
tives.
If I remember correctly, she was
responding to my claims that I had
seen Manuel Noriega at the Sonic
Drive-in in Falls City.
Because of that letter, I have tried
my best to be more pertinent. I would
like to continue that trend.
This, of course, means that I need
to address the issue of National Or
gasm Week.
First of all, you must realize that
I’m not the kind of guy who would
fake an Orgasm Week. This thing is
for real. I promise.
And you might be saying to your
self, “I’ve seen this Nelson guy. He’s
a sleaze. He would promise anything
for an Orgasm Week.”
For the fourth gala year, sexolo
gist Dr. Roger Libby has declared the
first week of spring (March 18-25) to
be National Orgasm Week. Accord
ing to a press release, Orgasm Week
“is devoted to orgasms through self
pleasuring and with sexual partners.
The fun-filled week is a retort to the
moralistic, censorship biases of the
Bush administration.” Libby supports
safe sex and argues that sexual desire
and caring flourish, despite media
fueled heterosexual AIDS paranoia.
As you know, Wednesday often is
referred to as the "hump” day of the
week. When people call Wednesday
the “hump” day, they only arc draw
ing parallels between the work week
and the climbing and descending of a
mountain. There is nothing sexual in
the term. But, this docs mean that
next week, my column will appear on
the4‘hump’’ day of National Orgasm
Week. Obviously, I feel an obligation
to write about the issue.
And also, today is ASUN election
day. This means that the announce
ment of our new student government
will come at the climax of the weekly
cycle, exactly one week from the cli
max of National Orgasm Week.
Now that you understand the link
between me, orgasms and ASUN, 1
can explain how this all relates to
you.
On Monday, the Daily Nebraskan
editorial board interviewed the ex
ecutive candidates for the Associa
tion of Students of the University of
Nebraska. After about 40 minutes of
intense and serious interrogation, I
placed before the candidates the final
and most important question:
“How do you plan to celebrate
National Orgasm Week?”
I realize that on the surface, this
question seems like nothing more than
tasteless buffoonery.
But for the last two weeks, the
candidates have heard the same ques
tions over and over again. They have
memorized answers to questions about
student and senate apathy, regents,
parking, campus security and minor
ity recruitment.
One of the last questions a candi
date would expect to hear is how he or
she would celebrate an orgasm week.
I’ll use Dan Quayleasan example
of the importance of this question.
According to an article in Tuesday’s
Omaha World-Herald, a souvenir hunt
in a Chilean street market took an
embarrassing twist for the vice presi
dent. Strolling into one of the souve
nir stands - the story says - Quayle
innocently lifted a carved wooden
figurine of a smiling Indian who
exposes himself when picked up.
Quayle reportedly blushed, turned to
his wife and said, “I could lake this
home, Marilyn. This is something
teenage boys might find of interest.”
Oops. In an attempt to be sponta
neously clever about sex, Quayle came
across sounding like a pervert. He
failed the lest.
To answer the question about
National Orgasm Week, the candi
dates had to be spontaneously perti
nent, clever and tasteful. These are
traits that only can be exposed by
strange and unexpected situation in
which someone is forced to instantly-'
comment on a delicate subject.
I tried to compile some of my own
answers to the question, ‘ ‘ How would
you celebrate National Orgasm
Week?” They are:
1. “What’s an orgasm?”
2. “In leather.”
3. “With a handshake.”
4. “Naked.”
5. “Blue.”
6. “Alone.”
7. “By visiting a farm.”
But I didn’t like my answers very®
much. As it turns out, I liked thq®|
answers of our three presidential
candidates much better.
And here they arc:
DEB FIDDELKE: “With a con®
dom.”
PHIL GOSCH: “By asking Shawi®
(Burnham) on a date.”
JOE BOWMAN: “I cclebrau®
orgasm week all year.”
Now understand that these candi®
dates were not implying nccessar®
ily that any of their methods of ccle®
bration included an orgasm. This i®
very important in understanding thaqp
all three answers were made in ex®
tremely good taste.
Each answer has specific strengths®
Fiddclke’s answer addresses an im®
portant campus issue, Gosch’s an-R
swer shows parly unity, and Bow-lj
man’s answer shows a nevcr-cndingM
commitment to the improvement ol R
the human condition. All three arc
fine traits in an ASUN president.
So what do you do? You have
three candidates who should be vice
president of the United Stales. The
problem is that only one can be ASU N
president.
Well, figure it out for yourself.
I’ve done my job. I’ve given you
information with which to make an
informed decision.
And after you make your decision,
ask yourself that all-important ques
tion:
“What will I do to celebrate Na
tional Orgasm Week?”
Nelson is a senior news-editorial major,
the Daily Nebraskan editorial page editor
and a columnist.
Signed staff editorials represent
the official policy of the spring 1990
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The Daily Nebraskan’s publishers
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