Pang’s punch delivers anything but knockout
Courtesy of Metal Blade Records
By Michael Deeds
Senior Editor __
Princess Pang
“Princess Pang’’
Metal Blade
With a name like Princess Pang,
you know what the bottom line in this
band has got to be -- a woman lead
vocalist.
Just why bands including women
have to stick femininity in their titles
is a good question. It seems to be an
unwritten rule of hcadbanging.
However, it is laudable to see
another group of musicians fighting
the hex on women vocalists in the
world of hard rock.
A few Joans and Litas arc roaming
successfully, but you can count them
on one hand.
Princess Pang is not presenting
any new approach, musically or visu
ally. Vocalist Jcni Foster takes the
“tough-but-pretty” route, while the
rest of the band go with the “sexy
dirtball” look.
Pang manages to crank out some
typical L.A.-sounding blues/metal, and
as usual for Brian Slagel of Metal
Blade, the recording production is
excellent.
But plenty of male-led bands are
out there stcmpmg out the same stuff
as Princess Pang, and many do it
better.
‘‘Trouble In Paradise,’ ’ the single/
MTV video that has gotten steady
play on “Headbangcrs Ball,” is proba
bly the catchiest tunc on the album.
Butothcr songs like “Baby Blue,”
“Scream And Shout” and “Too Much,
Too Soon” begin to sound alike, much
thanks to Foster.
Sadly enough, the make-or-break
chores fall primarily on her. And Foster
seems to be a little insecure at this
point in her career; she has a few
reverb and flanger hang-ups. She isn’t
sure how she wants to sound -- raspy,
tough, strained, produced.
Consequently, she ends up sound
ing a little like Chrissie Hynde and
Stevie Nicks, but it’s all swirled up in
a vicious mixing-board blender - very
average.
But hey, there always is the bad
boys to lean on. Unfortunately, gui
tarists Jay Lewis and Andy Tjernon
don’t help much, either. Sure,,they
can play, but the leads all melt to
gether in one big quagmire of lethar
gic mush.
If rock bands with women vocal
ists are your thing, Princess delivers a
standard punch.
But inevitably, in a heavy metal
world where most women are de
picted in chains or on their backs,
most female-led bands sink into a pit
of failure, a tradition that will proba
bly live on for years to come.
Princess Pang is no exception.
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Hanna
Continued from Page 9
tive who made important decisions
about the creative content of a net
work’s programming. I think I could
really spice up this dreary little show
and bring a good dose of the reality
and grittiness that today’s TV audi
ences crave.
For starters, it is totally unfathom
able that Mike and Carol have been
together this long and have never had
a fight on the air. There is never even
a hint that something may be wrong
between these two. If I were a pro
ducer for “The Bradys,” I would
have an episode where Carol catches
Mike in bed with another woman. Or
better yet, she catches him in bed with
Alice. Or still better yet, she catches
him in bed with Sam. Or still even
better yet, how about in bed with Jan
... Whoa! I guess I’d better not go too
far. I’d still want my show to be
tasteful.
In my Brady TV show, Alice would
be hospitalized in a mental institu
tion. We’ll learn that Alice wigged
out in the kitchen one day and tried to
Stan
Continued from Page 9
directing.
stuff one of Marcia’s children in the
oven. She now just sits in her hospital
room, repeatedly muttering, . .
cook at 450 degrees, basting occa
sionally . . . cook at 450 degrees,
basting occasionally.”
It is utterly absurd that Greg is now
a baby doctor. In my show, Greg will
be touring the country attending
Grateful Dead concerts. We all re
member the hippie pad he had during
the original scries so don’t even tell
me this boy doesn’t still drop acid. In
one moving episode, Mike and Carol
will hire a deprogrammer to chase
Greg down and de-brainwash him
with the music of Whitney Houston.
They will not succeed.
Marcia still will live at home with
about eight or nine children, none of
whom have the same father. She will
leech off of Mike and Carol and col
lect welfare benefits.
Peter will be dead, killed in an
attempted robbery of a convenience
store.
Jan really will be into crystals.
She’ll own a pipe and herbs shop
where she conducts workshops in
crystal healing and shiatsu.
Bobby willcome out of the closet
“Stanley & Iris” may not be called
to their feel around Acadamy Awards
lime, but the movie will call attention
to a social problem affecting thou
sands of people and do it through a
on the first episode, much to the cha
grin of Mike and Carol. The entire
family will be rocked when he brings
his lover to dinner one night and they
learn that it’s Oliver, the tiny John
Denver look-alike that lived with the
family near the end of the original
series.
Cindy will be a wealthy, success
ful stockbroker who only drops in
occasionally to snub her nose and
collect interest on her many loans to
Mike and Carol. In one funny epi
sode, someofCindy’s thugs will bend
Mike’s fingers back until they break
because he is late on a payment.
Until my show is accepted, how
ever, the current excursion into medi
ocrity will continue to be broadcast.
Millions of people will continue to
tune into “The Bradys” for the next
couple of weeks. Then, in about mid
April, the ratings will plummet and
the series will be cancelled.
If, however, the bigwigs at CBS
want a sure-fire winner that will bring
them huge ratings success . . . they
know where to reach me.
Hanna is a senior theater major and Daily
Nebraskan columnist and reporter.
heart-rending plotline. It’s the Ameri
can dream come to life.
“Stanley & Iris” is playing at the
Cinema 1 & 2,201 N. 13th St.
Qretchan Bo« hr/Daily Nebraskan
