T Editorial
___ i--—^mmm
(Daily
Nebraskan
Editorial Board
Univeraity of Nebraska-Lincoln
Amy Edwards, Editor, 472-1766
Bob Nelson, Editorial Page Editor
Ryan Steeves, Managing Editor
Eric Pfanncr, Associate News Editor
Lisa Donovan, Associate News Editor
Brandon Loomis, Wire Editor
Jana Pedersen, Night News Editor
Qibbles ‘n’ Bits
Judge orders Reagan to release entries
In 1987, then President Ronald Reagan posed what
seemed to be a real laugher of a comeback to
reporters who questioned him about his inability to
recall events concerning the Iran-Contra scandal.
Reagan asked reporters if they could remember what
I they were doing on a particular day two years before. Of
course, none of the reporters could remember. Chalk one
up for Reagan.
Tuesday, a federal judge ordered Reagan to turn over
entries from 29 different dates in 1985 and 1986 to former
national security adviser John Poindexter for use in his
Iran-Contra case.
The result? Americans finally may have the opportunity
to find out if Reagan’s alleged “hands-off” style of man
agement more closely resembled the style of former
President Richard Nixon.
It will be fun to see who gets the last laugh. Chalk one
up for the American people.
Bar owner uses unlikely argument
It was a little funny hearing Chris Wilken, who was
representing some downtown bars, argue against a deci
sion by the Lincoln City Council to approve a beer license
for a bar in the Reunion.
Wilken said if beer was allowed so close to campus,
students might not think twice about drinking. He said the
location of downtown bars encourages students to drink
less because they have to walk so far.
What’s so strange? When was the last time you heard a
businessman claim poor location as one of the merits of.
his business?
Mudslinging battle ensures colorful race
Democrat BUI Hoppner and Gov. Kay Otr have all but
gunbattled recently, ensuring a long and colorful race for
the state’s highest office.
Hoppner, hoping to get the Democratic nomination for
governor, has blasted Orr’s policies. In an Associated
Press story Tuesday concerning a school funding bill,
Hoppner sprung this page-turner:
“I am convinced that when it comes to taxes this ad
ministration doesn’t have the capacity to tell Nebraskans
the truth **
IOrr aide Doug Parrott responded by saying Hoppner’s
accusations were “ridiculous,” a word that appealed in
the AP story three times.
Hoppner, in his attempted media blitz, is certainly win
ning the mudslinging battle. He is a master at turning the
nasty phrase. The school funding story proves that.
It would be preferable, however, thfet Hoppner, for the
good of Nebraska voters, take his brand of politics else
where.
Most suitably, to the World Wrestling Federation.
- Bob Nelson
for the Daily Nebraskan
Women in combat uphold equality
A . 1 . .1 *■_ ATI 1 • .. .a a a .a a ...
m uwi, uit Lsauy pi NILS
an editorial on the so-called “issue”
of women in combat (DN, Jan. 25). I
have heard a lot of heated debate on
this subject over the past several weeks
and have been waiting for the right
time to put my two cents in.
I know this is going to shock a lot
of people, but I actually agree with
the DN. 1, too, feel that women should
be serving in combat positions right
along with the men.
What? Do you thi.ik I have an
ulterior motive by making that state
ment? Are you waiting for me to
spring something on you right about
now? Well, you won’t be surprised.
Yes, I agree that women should serve
in combat positions like men, but I
don’t think “allowing” them to do so
is the issue. “Forcing” them would
be more like it.
Don’t get me wrong. I admire all
the women (and men) who volunteer
to serve in the military and endure all
uic na/^irus inai may go along wun 11.
I doubt that I would have the guts to
do that, and I have the utmost respect
for each and every one of you. I just
have a problem with the fact that if a
draft were ever reinstated for what
ever reason, it would be only the men
that would have to live every day of
their lives with the fear of their num
ber being pulled at any time.
I am all in favor of equal rights for
both men and women, but I also feel
that there are equal responsibilities
that go along with those rights. It is
not fair that men could possibly be
forced to risk their lives on a battle
field somewhere, while women have
the option of avoiding that risk.
I will admit that I am not a military
expert. If any of my facts arc wrong,
please let me know.
Andrew Meyer
sophomore
Pfe-med
Students do anything for money
Meager earnings (dirt) expected to cover cost of textbooks
Awhile back, 15 students at the
University of Virginia rubbed
their hands in the nasal secre
tions of people with colds and then
touched their hands to their own eyes.
This is completely true. It was part of
an experiment to see how colds are
transmitted.
At first I wondered how people
would get suckered into dipping their
hands into a pool of nasal secretions.
I mean, snot is not Palmolive.
Customer: “Madge, how do you
keep your hands so soft?”
Madge: “Well, it’s kind of a se
cret, but I guess I can show you.”
Customer: “ARRRRGGGGG
HHHH!!!!!”
Madge: “Now rub it in your eyes.”
But then I realized we weren’t
talking about people or manicurists
here. We were talking about students.
And as you know, students will do
almost anything for money.
Why, just a few years ago, one of
my favorite pastimes was grabbing a
” iiiviiuj unuuMvu.iaiii^ iiuw iiiuvm
money each of us would charge to do
various disgusting things. One friend
said that for only $8, he would skip
around Memorial Stadium during a
football game wearing nothing but
shaving cream while screaming,
“PEANUTS! GET YOUR FRESH
ROASTED PEANUTS!”
Now 1 realize that doing this would
be neither terribly funny nor unusual.
It’s just kind of sad that he’d do it for
$8. Over the length of a football game,
that’s less than minimum wage.
You’re prohably thinking that even
the lowest form of human would hold
out for minimum wage. I reiterate
that he was not a human. He was a
student.
You sec, humans (unlike students)
don’t get paid dirt. Also, humans
(unlike students) arc not expected to
use their meager earnings (dirt) to
pay for textbooks.
For your bcitormcnt, I did a little
research on why textbooks cost three
times more than normal books that
arc exactly the same size. I found the
answer through my expertise in ety
mology.
The word “book,” in an ancient
language understood only by profes
sors and bookstore owners, means,
“a thing you read.”
The word “text,” which along
with “book” appears in the word
“textbook,” means, “grossly over
firiced because of a suppression of
ree-market checks and balances
Bob
Nelson
caused by the fact that the grossly
overpriced thing is ‘required’ in a
syllabus.”
I know this is true because just last
week I bought a poorly-printed, used,
220-page paperback book at one of
our two bookstores for S22.
Disgusted, I asked a salesclerk how
the book possibly could cost $22.
“Oh,” she said, “that particular
copy is missing 50 pages.”
She said I could buy the whole,
poorly-printed, used paperback text
book for only $42. Then she began
laughing and wailing like a banshee,
intermittently screaming, “WILL
THAT BE CASH OR CHARGE!!!”
The owner of the bookstore saw the
whole incident, immediately ran to
the clerk and, in a similarly hysterical
voice, gave her a raise.
So all students get the little money
(dirt) they make taken away from
them by bookstores. I have an extra
problem. I’m incredibly stupid. Let
me digress.
You sec, I lost my last $10 on the
Super Bowl because I thought I had a
sure bet.
I was going to bet on San Fran
cisco but an old friend of mine called
from St. Louis and offered me Bud
Light and one point in the Bud Bowl.
With the one point the bet seemed
like a sure thing because, as he ex
plained, football games between in
animate objects usually end in zero
zero tics. He said this is especially
true for beer bottles. He also said no
team has ever repeated in the Bud
Bowl and that Budweiser won last
year.
I was a little suspicious because
my friend really doesn’t need more
money. He’s a big-wig advertising
executive for some company called
Anheuser-Busch.
Nonetheless, 1 took the bet.
Budweiser won 36-34. So that, along
with buying textbooks, has left me
with absolutely no money.
This leads us back to the question:
“How much would you, as a student,
charge to take part in the University
of Virginia experiment?’’
We’ll do this gradually in survey
form. Now think hard.
1) How much would you charge to
touch your own nasal secretions?
2) How much would you charge to
pul your hand in someone else's nasal
sccicuuns:
3) How much would you charge to
put your hand in someone elsc’s in
fected nasal secretions and then rub
your eyes?
Which brings us to the final ques
tion:
4) Who of the following would
perform the most socially unaccept
able act to make money: a) a socio
pathic crack addict, b) a crack-ad
dieted prostitute who must support 47
children or c) a University of Nc
braska-Lincoln student?
I threw m number four to pad your
grade. My own answers to the first
three are:
1) I don’t mix business with pleas
ure.
2) $5, if it wasn’t on the first date.
3) The $101 lost on the Bud Bowl.
So, if there are any professors out
there who need a guinea pig, give me
a call. I’m poor, I’m cheap, I'm dumb
and most of all, I’m a student.
Nelson is a senior news-editorial major, a
Daily Nebraskan columnist, and the Daily
Nebraskan editorial page editor.
uay/iesbian scholarship promotes immorality
I m writing about the article that
was in the Thursday, Jan. 25, Daily
Nebraskan on the scholarship for gays
and lesbians. This is the dumbest
scholarship I have ever heard of. Let’s
forget the fact that it’s immoral to like
a member of the same sex in a sexual
way, but to have a scholarship to
encourage and show praise for this?
What about people who are more
deserving of the award, people who
need ihc money and can* i receive any
because they aren’t gay? If gays and
lesbians gel special scholarships, what
about us normal people who like the
opposite sex? We should receive
awards for being straight.
Well, after writing this much I
decided to read the rest of the article
and nouced that it is a private fund.
So excuse me, my opinion doesn’t
matter. Who cares? Mr. Bell stales all
the problems that gay people have,
like their parents disowning them.
They should gel a clue if their parents
won’t help them out. Ha!
Mike McCoy
junior
marketing