The inside bits of Lincoln edition . . .
Inside
The
Capitol building
By Jim Hanna
Staff Reporter
Hven though I grew up in Lin
coln with the towering state Capi
tol hanging on the skyline every
day, it wasn’t until I was about 15
that I first heard anybody refer to it
as “The Penis of the Plains.”
I’m not sure how I made it to age
15 without the phallic implications
of our Capitol building slapping
me in the face. I’m surprised that
when I was 13 or \4 and in the
throes of puberty, it still didn’t
occur to me that our Capitol looked
like a petie.
I didn’t realize the added touch
of a sower spreading his seed from
r the Capitol until almost a
Now, I’m 22 and I think I have a
pretty good command of the sex
ual nuances of nearly every build
ing in the city.
With my sexual identity now
secure, I ventured into the Ne
braska State Capitol last Sunday
afternoon.
_ . t . l ? I
Here s what it was mkc.
I went in the north entrance
under the main stairs.(Thestairs
were closed I’m not sure why.)
Perhaps my favorite feature in
the entire building is located inside
the ground-level doors of all four
entrances. About 20 feet in from
the doors, there is a place where
sounds like footsteps echo between
the floor and the ceiling. I can’t
really describe it, but I spent about
five minutes just groovin’ on the
super-cool echo.
But there were other sights to
see.
Straight down the hall from the
north entrance is the Hall of Gover
nors. (I don’t know if that’s the
official name but it’s what I call it )
On the walls are pictures of every
governor in Nebraska's history. I-ivc
points if anybody can tell me the
name of the last governor on the
wall. (Hint: It’s our current gover
nor.) . ...
Actually, this hall was kinda
boring because I look at it every
time I go in. I’m not sure why.
Fortunately, I made a new dis
covery in the hall that extends from
the west entrance. I call it the Hall
of Senators. On the walls w^re
yearbook-style pictures of every
Nebraska senator since 1937. ;
It was interesting, but only be- i
cause I’d never seen it before. I’m
not sure how I’d managed to miss
it during earlier visits.
I noted with a chuckle that Sen
Ernie Chambers had the same pic
ture up from 1972 to 1986. I had
visions of him vainly rebelling and
refusing to have a new photo taken.
I thought that was pretty cool. I
also noted that current Omaha Mayor
P.J. Morgan looked like a real dork
when he was a senator in the early
’70s.
The four hallways that come in
from each ground level entrance
converge in the center of the build
ing, where you will find the infor
mation desk. I’ve always been in
timidated by the information desk.
I suppose it’s a holdover from my
younger days when the people
who staffed the desk were just
there to pick on little kids.
“Where do you think you’re
going?! You can’t go in there! Where
are your parents?!’’
Now that I’m an adult I suppose
they’d gladly dispense information,
but I still was a little scared so I
avoided it.
I made my way upstairs to the
second floor where all of the action
was, the main rotunda. I love the
main rotunda.
This truly is an amazing place.
Intricate tile art covers the floor and
walls. I remembered when I was
about 7 years old, I thought it was
so neat that a public building had
tile pictures of naked women on
the floor. Now, of course, I appre
ciate it for its artistic merits.
Some of the art that was way up
on the walls around the rotunda
and along the halls of the main
hallway leading up to it almost
borders on tacky. If there’s a draw
back to this awesome structure, it’s
these rather gaudy murals.
But I can live with it.
Since I’d seen the main rotunda
ibout three zillion times, I didn’t
>tay there long.
I wandered around for a while
ind finally came to rest on a small
tench in some interesting nook or
cranny not far from the information
desk. 1 made sure to be quiet so the
information people wouldn’t see
me and give me a hard time.
1 lay down on the bench and
looked at the ceiling for about 30
minutes. No big deal, but it was
nice.
Finally, 1 decided 1 would leave
and come back tomorrow for a visit
to the 14lh floor — the highest point
in the building that tourists can
visit.
On Monday, I returned. For
variety, I entered through the west,
ground-level doors. I passed by the
Hall of Governors and climbed a
flight of stairs to the second floor
where I found an elevator.
I noticed Inal the elevators looKeo
like crypts with automatic sliding
doors, a none-too-comforting
thought as you’re about to enter
and ride it a few hundred feet into
the air.
I got into one by myself and the
doors closed. It looked really old
on the inside. These are the kind of
elevators Lizzie Borden probably
rode in.
I rode the elevator up H floors
with my Walkman turned all the
way up so 1 couldn’t hear the cables
creaking around me.
I made it safely to the top and
made the mandatory walk around
to each viewing deck. The west
side was closed for repairs.
I chose to heed the warning I
read that said, "Don’t drop any
thing from this level.”
1 quickly got bored looking at
Lincoln from above and went into
the rotunda area. This also is an
interesting place.
Circling the wallsof this area
about 25 feet up was a series of
engraved words. They ran a com
The state Capitol at night
plete circle around, with the last
word of the phrase running right
back into the first word so I didn’t
really know where it began.
Finally I deciphered it as fol
lows: “With malice toward none/
With charity for all/With firmness
in the right/Let us strive on to finish
the worn we are in/'Td bind up the
nation’s wounds/To care for him
who shall have borne the battle
and for his widow and his orphan/
To do all which may achieve and
cherish a just and lasting peace
among ourselves and with all na
tions."
It was from Abraham Lincoln’s
second inaugural address. I for
gave Abe for the sexist, military
notions I saw in his passage and
chose to appreciate the wisdom of
the rest.
Our city has a pretty cool name
sake.
And with that comforting reve
lation, I decided I was ready to go.
I traveled back down to ground
level and headed out the west exit.
'Ihe sun was setting, the weather
was pleasant, and I was totally
centered.
I really love the C
building.
