Editorial
{Nebraskan
University of Nebraska-Uncoln
Curt Wagner, Editor, 472-1766
Amy Edwards, Editorial Page Editor
Jane Hilt, Managing Editor
Lee Rood, Associate News Editor
Diana Johnson, Wire Page Editor
Chuck Green, Copy Desk Chief
Lisa Donovan, Columnist
mivmw! ' » i in WMrui'wwwwwvvwi
1 Hits
Impme (||S®tudents have vme^non^^
np here may still be hope,
’ Senate haiapproved a bill giving
A the student member of the Arizona Board of Re
gents the right to vote on state university issues, according
• to the Arizona Daily Wildcat* 2 ,- •■ **
^i:p3fc bill haiiiet to bp Approved bjlArizonaCSov* Rose • £1
Mofford, fe4| Mofford tact expected tolfen down the fS;:|
proposal
<1$ Patriot McWhortor, student mgentfor.tbe Atpona Stu~1
i dents Association, said that Mofford fqhnaiiy told ASA%i\
officials that she would ate the bill*
v McWhortor said h4lobbied Jbr tl^Hif because amdenf |
• regents at the ltoiver$i§|of Arizona:1fciye earned die right 3
• to vote* i'^ { v;:;3:-5':-%'J
the 'ftildcat reported thaflhe blll-a sponsor* Rep. John~:
Wettaw of Flagstaff, told lawmakers drat student tv^ents 33
ghave bee^S^oextble #d professional in their actions**
and should have a say in board action,.
'Ill Nrhaps die Nil Board of Rebuts will take responsible :
tty and professionalism Into careful consideration when §:
deciding IflMversuy of Nebraska student regents should
maintain an unofficial vote* even if there was a low voter j
tumotAht the last ASUN election*
And perhaps in the future* they will consider the option
of e&ffidaltote,fdr student regents. V*u-Z r & t) •
'
|W k students m\red ui!|
::. -•' ‘-Xv
worth |® to $2,300— I«es ana too tew
days allotted for distribution, even though the university
hired 14 temporary employees to help speed up the
process.
But the Minnesota Daily also reported that some stu
dents at the university just don't need the financial assis
tance.
“I picked up my check and gave the money to a friend
• of liKwl>Whtg|er business,'' sa^reMA:
who asked to remain anonymous. <?I think a lot of people '
I do that'll • :- ^ rp
"•: According to the Daily* checks that are not picked up in
30 days are usually cancelled.
| ; Ratter than cancelling them, maybe the bursar's office
' could send the checks to the University of Heinaaka- SIP
Lincoln Office of Scholarships and Financial Aid.
They might help alleviate the crunch coming from next I
p year's 5-percent tuition hike* :
'P. \- - Amy Edward*
___for the Daily N*brarton
Midshipman condemns graffiti
i was particularly surprised by the
statement, “One shouldn’t make as
sumptions about unheard voices...”
(Richard Hayden, Daily Nebraskan,
April 12). This, Mr. Hayden, is like
the pot calling the kettle black.
In his letter, Hayden assumed that
because he has taken upper-level
classes and is from Washington,
D.C., he has a broader, more prag
matic view of life than John Vela, a
sophomore from Omaha. He even
goes so far as to question whether
Vela has ever been out of this state.
Unfortunately for all of us, Mr. Ha
yden, it’s you who “didn’t cover all
your bases.’’ As one who knows John
Vela, I can assure you that he is quite
worldly for a sophomore. He is a 26
year-old husband and father who has
traveled extensively during his career
in the Marine Corps. Among his stops
have been Beirut and Grenada.
However, neither Vela nor Ha
yden are the issue here. The issue is
the anti-militao' sentiment which
caused an artist to paint “WAR
PIGS” on the Militai7 and Naval
Science building. 1 don’t know if the
artist was an irate international stu
dent, unhappy teen-age Black Sab
bath/Ozzy Osborne fan or a defunct
flower child, and I don’t really care.
What I do care about is that the artist
and those who share his views are
guiding their anger at the wrong insti
tution.
As anyone who has studied mili
tary history should know, the military
does not make foreign policy or start
wars. The military is simply a tool
which is used to carry out the policies
of the elected civilian government
when a military solution is needed.
Therefore, if the artist has a problem
with our foreign policy, he should
paint “WAR PIGS’’ where U.S.
congressmen and the president can
see it.
In closing I would like to add that
I am a midshipman in the Navy
ROTC program, and I am trying to do
my part to preserve peace. If you too
care about peace, don’t paint on our
building, we’re all on the same side.
Scott Weldon
senior
• ■ exercise physiology
Veal shanks vs. chicken, tuna
Warning labels might soon be tattooed to children’s thumbs
After the waiter took our orders,
the blonde stared across the
table at me and coldly said:
“Why did you do that?”
Do what?
‘ You ordered the veal shank.”
That’s right. I love veal shanks.
That’s why I ordered it.
“But you know it isn’t good for
you. It is high in cholesterol.”
I nodded and waived to the waiter.
He came to the table, and I told him I
wanted to change my order.
“What will you have?” he asked.
I said I wanted the pork shank
instead of the veal shank.
When he left, she said: “Why did
you do that?”
Do what?
“You know perfectly well what.
The pork shank has even higher cho
lesterol than the veal shank.”
Then you should have left well
enough alone when I ordered the veal
shank.
“That’s not the point. You
shouldn’t be eating any of that stuff.
Pork shanks, veal shanks, red meats.
They arc all bad for you.”
I slammed my fist down on the
table, causing the silverware and
bread basket to bounce. A couple at
the next table stared at me. I smiled
apologetically and explained that I
had killed an ant.
But to the blonde 1 said that
enough is enough. I am no longer
paying any attention to what any
experts say about anything 1 cat.
From now on, when I want a pork
shank, I’ll cat a pork shank, and to
hell with the cholesterol.
“You should cat fish or chicken.
You know that. Ask your doctor. Ask
any doctor.”
Oh, sure. Ask the doctors. I sus
pect that America’s doctors secretly
own all the chicken farms and fishing
boats, that’s what I suspect.
So I ask them what I should cal,
and they say fish and chjpken.
Then I pick up a magazine or a
newspaper and what do I read? There
are chemicals in chickens that cause
mice to become impotent or get
cross-eyed or something like that.
And there are things in fish that, if
you cat enough of it, will cause your
nose to fall off.
Even the apple, that most humble
and American of all fruits, is sus
pected of being dangerous to our
health.
i--1
Wc have tested this, tested that,
analyzed, studied and made life mis
erable for millions of mice.
And it appears that everything is
bad for us. I don’t know if they have
tested thumbs yet, but it wouldn't
surprise me if newborn children will
soon have their thumbs tattooed with
the words: “Warning, do not put in
mouth. Can cause premature bald
ness.”
Just the other morning, I was shav
ing while having my first cup of cof
fee (more than four cups a day in
creases the possibility of a heart at
tack), when I heard a terrible scream
from the kitchen.
My heart pounding, I ran down
stairs, expecting to do battle with a
burglar.
The blonde was standing there
staring at a plastic bag of grapes.
1 asked her why she had screamed.
She said: “These grapes... these
grapes are from Chile.”
Have you eaten any of them?
“No. I bought them yesterday.”
Then why are you screaming?
“Because I could have eaten
them.”
I seized the bag, tore it open, and
shoved a handful of grapes in my
mouth. Then another. I stuffed so
many grapes in my face that juice was
oozing down my chin.
“What are you doing?” she said.
I told her what I was doing. Those
grapes weren’t going to kill me. What
might kill me, though, was hearing
loud shrieks of terror even before I
had my first cup of coffee in the
morning.
What will kill me is the stress of
looking at every item on a menu and
try ing to remember if the latest scien
tific studies had shown it is dangerous
to mice.
To the best of my know ledge, my
father never ate one can of tuna
packed in water. (I suspect that the
doctors own all the tuna packing
plants, too.)
No, the old man ate pork shanks,
pork chops, and slabs ol heel smoth
ered in gravy. !
At age 80, he duked it out in a par
with two young punks who weren ta
day over 65, and he came out w ith a
split-decision draw.
No tuna cater would have done
better.
When the waiter brought me my
pork shank, I reached lor the sa
shaker. . .
The blonde said: “You know *hat
they say about too much salt.
I called the waiter over and torn
him to bring another pork shank.
Free at last.
e 1989 By the Chicago Tribune
L-teF-i
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