Editorial
I Nebraskan
University of Nebraska-Lincoln
Curt Wagner, Editor, 472-1766
Amy Kdwards, Editorial age Editor
Jane Ilirt, Managing Editor
Lee Rood, Associate 1Sews Editor
Diana Johnson, Wire Page Editor
Chuck Green, Copy Desk Chief
L.isa Donovan, Columnist
DN backs IMPACT
Party has more experience, better ideas
With fingers crossed and an eye toward the future, the Daily
Nebraskan editorial board has voted unanimously to back
the party that it hopes will make the most IMPACT.
IMPACT is the only party that has the leadership ability to do the
things it has promised the student body.
Bryan Hill and Devi Bohling, the party’s presidential and 1st vice
presidential candidates, together have the contacts needed to create a
more unified student government.
They also have the knowledge to back themselves up on the
issues -- and their plans arc specific.
With IMPACT in the ASUN office, the transition between leaders
will be easier, and the Association of Students ol the University of
f Nebraska will be able to accomplish some ol its goals right away.
Some of the highlights of IMPACT’S platform that arc leasiblc
include:
• an annual standard student survey,
• a regents’ liaison report, university committees reports and
. organizational liaisons,
• increased lighting on both city and East campuses,
| • fully developed student advisory boards,
• a target grading option for pass/fail courses.
PRIDE candidates, while showing a lot of that good ol* Huskcr
spirit, have taken an unrealistic approach to their campaign and arc
I ignorant of the issues and the workings ot student government.
These candidates also showed a lack of pride in their own party
by continuously launching personal attacks on other parties. Mud
slingmg is nasty enough in national elections and shouldn't dirty a
student government election.
:\ But both IMPACT and PRIDE arc guilty of playing to students’
1 whims. They have offered students some platform ideas that are
I mostly for the sake of gaining votes.
A lot of their other ideas are old ones -- ones that in past years
have been ignored after the elections.
IMPACT’S biggest asset is Devi Bohling, 1st vice presidential
hopeful. Bohling has contacts that previous AS UN Senates have
been missing. She’s been active in non-grcck, non-ASUN govern
1 ments and will add heart to a party that has appeared at times to be
^ too political.
Bryan Hill has made some great contacts both on campus and in
| the Nebraska Legislature as chairman of the Government Liaison
1 Committee. Hopefully, he will approach his duties with more than a
- political attitude. He must remember that his most important job as
,i student body president and UNL student regent will be to get things
done for students, not to please unresponsive regents, administrators
| or legislators.
His job is not about compromising students’ positions to gain
l possible contacts after graduation. It is not a resume padder.
Jon Bruning, IMPACT’S 2nd vice presidential candidate, has less
experience in student government, but has other things to offer.
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endorsement interview to excite senators and advisory board
members to accomplish great things.
The DN endorses IMPACT, but offers the party a challenge: Live
| up to the promises of your campaign.
IMPACT has proposed to “aggressively address the parking
| problems at UNL.” They have said they will try to get ticket prices
varied according to how far away the parking lots are. This a good
idea and deserves IMPACT’S hard work to get it enacted.
IMPACT has said it will train the new ASUN Senate extensively
and explain what its duties are. They must accomplish this task; they
must demand that senators be prepared to act on legislation with a
full understanding of dial legislation and the student opinion on it.
They must let senators know that sometimes it takes the boldness of
: the ASUN Senate to tell officials what the student body supports.
IMPACT’S idea for a regents’ liaison report to let the student
body know what the regents are doing is excellent, and hopefully
will be expanded to give the regents a report of what students and
student governments are doing.
IMPACT candidates also promised a continuance of efforts on
behalf of minority students, a promise that the DN will hold them to.
If IMPACT executive candidates live up to their promises, they
could make large strides for the UNL student body. If not ~ they
could create even more apathy on an already apathetic campus.
One distinct drawback of the IMPACT party is the inclusion of
Steve Thomlison as a candidate for general studies senator. As a
senator this semester, he has proven that he values personal opinions
over rational arguments when voting on legislation. That is not a
senator’s dirty.
Special kudos go to the BEER party and Joe Bowman.
The BEER party ran in this election for the sole purpose of in
creasing voter turnout, a noble task that hopefully will work. Joe
Bowman, who is running as a SLUMBR write-in candidate for arts
and sciences senator, continues to raise important social issues that
other candidates have ignored. Good luck, Joe.
*• The Daily Nebraskan editorial board
I I j
Meet your ASUN candidate I
Columnist ponders phoniness and resume-building manipulators :
Hi, I’m an ASUN candidate.
I’m running for election to
day. How are you doing? I
couldn ’ t care less how you ’ re doing. ’'
I say, ‘‘How are you doing?” be
cause you might be a prospect for
affection or election. Then my eyes
sparkle and I play clever and smiles
squeeze my dimples.
I run for election because I have no
status now. I am only a student. I want
to be introduced with a title. I want to
be important.
i run ior puonc unite uetuu>e
women sleep with power. That ugly
little soak John Tower is proof. My
sex-life demands this position.
I run for the Association of Stu
dents of the University of Nebraska
because it is a step. My resume de
mands it. My resume is my life. My
self worth grows as my resume
grows.
I have plans. I want to be very
powerful some day so people will kiss
my butt. If I kiss enough butt, I should
be able to have my butt kissed. That is
how the world works.
If elected, 1 promise not to call
faggots “faggots.”
My grade point average means I’m
smart. I thrive in test files. I’ve taken
philosophy and can say “Nietzsche”
if my date plays hard to get. I know
parliamentary procedure and support
economic sanctions against South
Africa because that greasy Bono guy
does.
I remember the funny parts in
movies. I repeat them. My favorite
comedian is Eddie Murphy. I didn’t
realize blacks could be that funny. I
:ell Eddie Murphy lines U) girls. They
hink I’m funny.
I like the environment and Bud
Light. I show my love for the environ
ment by recycling Bud Light cans. 1
buy more Bud Light with money from
recycling. 1 invest in everything and
everybody.
My smile is big. I have learned that
big smiles work better. People like big
smiles and pay better and better for
bigger and bigger smiles.
I always know when to laugh. I
know when someone has said some
thing funny by the look on their face.
If other people arc laughing, I laugh as
loud as them.
My hair is short for one reason.
Nebraskans respect short hair. Short
hair means I’m responsible. My first
priority is appearing responsible.
I have learned the importance of
eye contact. I have learned to lie while
staring into someone’s eyes. People
don’t know 1 can do that. People be
lieve me.
I have learned the importance of a
firm handshake. Firm handshakes
show confidence ...
... It is more important to be
confident than introspective. Intro
speclion exposes unwarranted conn
ilence and causes sweaty hands.
People like confidence. Ignorance is
bliss and prosperity.
I am Christian. I don’t support
students unless they are just like me.
I am Christian because my parents
were Christian. I go to church some
times if I'm not hung over. I am a
member of a Christian youth group. E
Employers like youth groups. I
I have many friends. We drink
Bud Light. We make jokes about girls
and people who arc not like us. The
more demeaning the better. Alter
jokes, we drink more Bud Light.
I can act concerned. I lower my
eyebrows and I frown a little when
I’m acting concerned. If I’m elected,
I will act very concerned about mi
norities. It is good press to be con
cerned about minorities.
. . . i • • v -'ll
i Know apamy is a uig issue;, i wm
pretend to fight apathy. If I was to
fight apathy seriously I could jeopard
ize my own election to ASUN. My
friends would be outnumbered by
voters.
I am lucky. Ninety-five percent of
this campus hales me. They are the
majority. They like intelligent and
genuine people. They like people who
work for progress, not advancement.
The majority isn’t my friend but
the majority doesn’t vote. My friends
vote because I promised them a keg of
Bud Light.
Thank you for your support.
Nelson Is a junior news-editorial major
and a Daily Nebraskan associate news editor
and editorial columnist.
Students say they will vote today, lor bLV is
As the ASUN elections slink to a
close, we thought it might be benefi
cial to University of Nebraska-Lin
coln students for us to comment on
student government.
“So,” you say, “why even vote in
the ASUN election?” A valid ques
tion and our response would be,
“Then don’t vote, smarty pants.”
But remember, if you don’t vote you
are indicating, as the masses, that you
are satisfied with the present system
of student government
Folks, we do not mean to be rude,
but voting is the only chance you
have to stir up a little trouble in col
lege. Voting is basically an irrational
act to begin with, so why not be really
irrational while you still have the
opportunity. What strikes fear in the
hearts of elected officials? That’s
right, large coalitions. Just look at the
National Rifle Association, for ex
ample. We could make the NU Board
of Regents shake in their boots if they
thought students would actually unite
against tuition increases. But unfor
tunately, we don’t so we let the re
gents dump all over us.
We are two students who are tired
of being dumped on. We are going to
vote today, and the candidate we are
going to vote for is ELVIS. Yes, we
saw The King by Oldfathcr Hall. He
had just gotten done with one of his
philosophy courses. He had some
pretty good ideas. Since the Associa
tion of Students of the University of
Nebraska is just a resume padding
organization, why not make it a ro
tary senate? Then every month, sena
tors would change and everyone who
wanted to be a senator could. See,
ELVIS is no fool.
ELVIS also realizes that a wet
campus is difficult in Nebraska, so he
thought we could have a “damp”
campus. “Put a bar in the union,
boys,” he mumbled. “Students need
booze too, and if those fancy admin
istrators can have wine and cheese
then students can, too.” The wisdom
of The King is overwhelming, huh?
Then ELVIS told us the best idea
ever. Sell 3.2 beer at Nebraska foot
ball games. This would keep the
rowdy students from sneaking in
bottles of Jack Daniels and throwing
them at each other. Hey, they sell 3.2
beer at professional games. Let’s face
it, the Comhuskers are about as pro
fessional as we’re going to ever get.
So vote. Please vote. Send a mes
sage to those regents. Vote ELVIS
today. If we all wrote in ELVIS, what
do you think they’d do? Have a run
off election? Call the whole thing a
fluke and appoint somebody? Or
maybe, just maybe, they would think
the natives are getting restless. That
maybe if we voted for ELVIS wc
might also take over the Military and
Naval Science Building or stage a sit
in at the next regents meeting. Who
knows, but as they say in Chicago..
. “Vote early and often.’’
Have a nice day.
Chris Stream
senior
Charles Mahlman
graduate student