r )/0U Dm VENTURE INTQJ
By Lane Van Ham
Staff Reporter
"So there you are! / hope you re
satisfied with, what you ve done
"Im the Old Flick I'iend’s mother
Cmummy, " he calls me of course)
and I'm introducing today’s trashy
film feature because he’s sick And
it‘s all your fault If you people had
something belter to do other than
read up on these weird movies, he
wouldn ‘l have a job. Pul no! He had
to try to get a tan in sub-zero tem
peratures to introduce the movie
this week He’s lucked in his coffin
even as we speak, gelling plenty of
Vitamin C and warm blood.
"Well, let’s gel this underway
Plicky told me to warn you, though
unless you have a high bad film
constitution, you may not be able to
sand it (yes, sand it). Now roll 'em!"
ii me weamcr uocsn i uo n to
you, this video probably will. 1 am
speaking of the 1964 shocker, “The
Horror Of Party Beach.”
The movie starts with a scene
typical of most beach movies made
at the time: a bunch of actors and
actresses in their 20s pretend to be
teen-agers and dance to bad rock
‘n’ roll on a stretch of sand, spout
ing awful dialogue in-between
songs.
‘‘Iliya, Charlie Do you like bath
ing beauties?”
“I dunno. I've never bathed
one.”
Ha ha ha, oh, please, stop it. In
this case, unlike ‘‘Beach Blanket
Bingo," there is a rude intrusion on
the festivities by a hideous mon
ster The monster was created by
nearby radioactive waste dump
ing. Upon appearance, it chal
lenges the all-while affluent youth
and the terrible rock band (The
Del Aires) as the most disgusting
part of the movie.
Needless to say, the writers and
directors probably intended the
monster to be the most terrifying
part of the movie, but considering
the acting ability of the beach kids,
the monster's intrusion may not be
so much “rude” as “welcome.”
After the beach party massacre
(not shown on the video) the po
lice recruit scientist Dr. Gavin to
help them. Gavin’s daughter, as it
turns out, was among those who
witnessed the monster.
From here on, the movie basi
cally alternates scenes of the inves
tigation and new murders by the
monsters.
I'll let the victims speak for
themselves:
“It smells like the Fulton Fish
Market in the middle of July . . .
aaagh!”
“Sou nds 1 i kc someone b ig w a Ik -
ing in mud. Yeaargh!”
“It’s . . . like somebody in rub
bers filled with water. Urkkl!”
The investigation gels nowhere
until Fulabellc, Dr. Gavin’s maid
steps into the lab Previously, hula
belle has acted as a sort of parapsy
chological Aunt Jemima by blam
ing the deaths on “voodoo.” (1 kid
you not. The character is almost
unbearable to watch, especially
considering that the writers should
have known belter in 1964.)
By sheer accident, anyway,
hulabelle accidentally spills so
dium on a monster sample and
discovers that the monster disinte
grates.
And so, armed with several tubs
of sodium solution, Dr Gavin, his
daughter and others go to work.
This is the kind of movie that really
makes me wish I hadn’t spent so
much time spacing off biology
back in 10th grade. I guess my
teacher never talked about com
batting radioactive waste mon
sters, but I’d still like to know
about all that stuff just in case a
monster comes out of Woods Pool
someday.
Needless to say, the day is
saved, and the world is a sale place
for bad actors and actresses once
again. “Horror of Party Beach is
Lane Van Ham 'Daily Nebraskan
absolutely indefensible as a good
movie. The script is bad, the acting
is atrocious, and there isn't any
thing creative or original about it
Michael and Harry Medved, in
their book, “Son of Golden Turkey
Awards” write: “I'.ach additional
viewing (of “Horror of Party
Beach”) reveals new levels of in
competence.’ 1 won't argue.
But it does sustain your atten
tion, and although, as I said earlier,
it doesn’t do a thing to advance the
creative potential of film making, it
is unique in one particular way, it’s
level of badness. If you’re used to
watching multi-million dollar pro
ductions downtown, renting this
video will probably pul you in a
slate of altered consciousness.
Whether just to get the satisfac
tion of watching a weird movie or
to feel better about the next profi
cient movie you see in comparison,
I highly recommend “The Horror
of Party Beach.”
The video is available from Ne
braska Bookstore.
Sunday, February 12th
Come before 8:00
and beat the cover!
PADDY MURPHY S
2737 S, 90th * Omaha, Ne
Unique Valentine Ideas
•Specialty Containers
Filled with Variety, of Items
•Tush Talk Brief for
Your Guy or Gal
•30 Choices of Valentine
1® Balloons With Variety of
OVA
For All the Commitments You Make'
A musical romp through the 16th century.
The women of Windsor wage war on the
deliciously sinful Falstaff in a musical
battle between the sexes.
FRIDAY-SUNDAY
3 FEBRUARY 10,11,12, 8:00pm
Tickets: $10, $8
UNL Students and Senior Citizens
All Tickets 1/2 price
. % ijL ...
^■orJ1cketsCa^472*337MMonday^^