Daily
T Arts & Entertainment
___ _
Cheerfulness on campus catches Hanna off-guard
By Jim Hanna
Staff Humorist_
Boy, was Iangry. Iiwasonly 9a.m.
and already I knew- l was going lo
have a miserable day.
I didn’t want to talk to anyone — l
knew I would chew the head ofl of
anyone who even tried to make
simple conversation with inc.
hum^
*M*-**r MANNA 1
I stormed angrily into the admini
stration building, knocking over a few'
oblivious students. 1 chortled to my
self as I saw' the miserable saps
scramble to their feet, and pick up
their books, their faces stricken with
horror.
I was grumpy.
I lumbered down to the basement
on my w ay to the financial aid office.
As I passed other students on the
stairs. I was surprised to hear each and
every one of them greet me with a
hearty, “Good morning, Jim!”
Hnimm. All of this good cheer
caught me off-guard. I wanted lo be
cranky but these people were trying to
be nice to me. Well. I would have
none of lhal.
I merely snorted angrily and
smacked a few of them with my
umbrella. Ha! That would teach them
to be good-naiured.
My blood, which was only sim
mering at this point, began to toil as
I saw' a long line outside of the finan
cial aid office. GRRRR! I hate lines!
I took my position at the end of the
line and began to lightly mumble
about my displeasure. 1 assumed that
everyone else in the line would be
equally unhappy about having to wail
for service, but my assumption was
incorrect.
The person standing in front of me
was whistling merrily and seemed not
in the least bit disturbed about the
long line he was in.
I could not help but grunt, “What’s
the matter with you, Bo/o? Why
aren’t you as unhappy about this as I
am?”
“Oh, what’s the use of getting
angry?” the Bo/o said. “Besides, I
know the people in the office are
working as fast as they can.”
1 shook my head in disbelief.
Surely this was not a University of
Nebraska-Lincoln student declaring
he had no problem enduring the long
financial aid office lines. I figured all
UNL students loved to gripe about the
financial aid office.
Il was then that I noticed that every
otherperson in line wasalso whistling
merrily.
“Hey,” I screamed at them. “Am I
the only one who’s miffed about this
enormous line?”
They all stopped w histling, turned
to me and said in unison, “Why yes
Jim, you are the only one. We’re all
more than happy to wait. The people
in the office arc working as fast as
they can.”
I could not believe it. A large
bunch of UNL students refusing to
complain about how inefficient the
financial aid office is? Naw! Il
couldn’t be happening.
1 snorted to show my disgust and
decided to cut in front of all of these
ninny-heads and go straight into the
office.
I figured that several ol those
waiting would lake exception to my
culling and voice their disapproval.
Instead, I was greeted with smiling
faces and a chorus of. “Go ahead, Jim.
We don't mind.”
This was too much. Here I was,
try ing to be angry and have a miser
able day and instead I was surrounded
by happy UNI. students.
I rushed into the office, hoping to
encounter some grumpy employees
w ho would give me the runaround and
allow me to be really furious. But
again I was thwarted.
“I am sick and tired of gelling
screwed around by you financial aid
people!” I yelled to the woman at the
front desk. “I’ve been waiting for my
loan to come through for six weeks
and I know you people are going to
delay it again! But 1 won't stand lor it
you pathetic morons! I want my
money now!!”
The woman smiled warmly at me,
reached under ihccounierand handed
me an envelope.
“Here you arc, Jim,” she said.
“Your loan just came in. I was going
to call you about it. We’re ever so
sorry about the delay. To make it up to
you, we've doubled your loan at no
cxlracost. You don’teven have to pay
the extra back. As a matter a fact, you
don’t have to pay any of it back. Take
it all and blow it!”
My jaw hit the counter with an
audible thud. Stunned, I turned and
walked out of the office.
What was wrong w ith the world
today? Everyone was in a good mood.
I wanted to be angry, but everyone
around me was happy.
I walked dow n the street in a da/e.
I staggered by a car and noticed that it
was being towed. The tow truck
driver was hooking the car up as a
meter monitor looked on.
Just then, the car's owner, a UNL
student, came running up. Aha! Now
I’d see some sparks. This student
would fly into a rage and really let the
tow truck driver have it.
Imagine my surprise when the
follow'ing conversation took place:
“Oh no!”said the student. “I was so
foolish not to have plugged my me
ter.”
“I’m so sorry,” said the meter
monitor. “I didn T want to have to call
the tow truck, but you have S35 in
outstanding tickets.”
“Oh, don’t apologize. It’s my
fault. I should have taken care of those
tickets long ago,” the student said.
“But I feel so bad.” the meter
monitor said. “Sometimes I just hate
this job. Maybe 1 should just let it slide
this time.”
“No!”said the student. “I will have
none of that. I deserve to be lowed.
You are just doing your job.”
The low truck driver was crying by
this point.
“I hate my job, loo,” he said. It’s
so awful to make a living ofl ol other
. « • ^ » • .. i. i
peoples imsioiiuiie. 1 jum. wish i
could unhook this car and lei you go.”
“Now listen,” said the student.
“This is not your fault. I understand. I
want you to low my car. Maybe it w ill
teach me a lesson. Now I want both of
you to cheer up, do you hear?”
The tow truck man and the meter
monitor both nodded sadly.
“Come here,” the student said.
“Group hug!”
The three moved into one big hug
and laughed merrily among them.
By this point, I was crying loo. I
had never seen such a beautiful dis
play of human emotions.
I walked over to the group and
cried.
“You guys,” I said. “I need a hug
too.”
They welcomed me warmly into
their group hug.
“I feel so bad,” l said. “I was
cranky earlier today, but everyone
I’ve met has been happy and agree
able. I can’t help but be happy too!”
We all had a good laugh and
hugged one another again. Then as
the group was breaking up, I heard a
voice calling to me.
“Jim, Time to get up! You’ll be
late for school!”
t •
1 had been dreaming.
I sat up in my bed and shook my
head. Wow, it had all been a bad
dream. Everyone at UNL was not
merry and carefree. It had all been a
product of my sleeping mind.
To verify this, I ran to the phone
and called the financial aid office.
After 27 rings, somebody answered.
"Financial aid office. What do you
want?”
“Urn, I was wondering if perhaps
my loan check had arrived?” I asked.
"Oh for crying out loud!”
screamed the person on the other end.
“What do you think, dimwit?”
“Uh ... no?" I said.
“Good guess Sherlock! They
won’t be in for six more weeks. Now
quit bothering me!”
The person on the other end hung
up the phone violently. Whew! I was
now certain that it all had been a bad
dream.
The people at U NL were all just as
jaded, angry and disagreeable as I had
remembered.
Thank God for small favors.
-1
Broken Homes; a sound losing momentum
Courtesy of MCA Records
Chris Allerheiligen
Slafl Reporter
The Broken Homes
Straight Line Through Time
MCA Records
The Broken Homes album is
misleading.
The first song starts out hard
rocking, hard-hitting and ready to
roll the wholcalbum. Unfortunately,
the momentum from the first song
drains the band and the rocking lasts
about three and a half minutes.
The album’s title song, “Straight
Line Through Time,” has a hint of
the Smithereens with a strong bass
line and thrashing guitar. Vocalist
Mike Doman repeatedly sings
“straight line through time, straight
line through time.”
The next song, “Single Drop of
You,” is also rocking, but not as hard
us “Straight Line Though l ime.”
From here, the album isalldown hill.
In "Seeds I’ve Sown," the band
tries to create a sound like Slim
Whitman on acid, trying to imitate
Bruce Springsteen, or a Tailed at
tempt to sound like The Georgia
Satellites.
The country twang with rock
guitars works Tor other bands, but not
with this one. Again, the band has
come up with clever lyrics: “Seeds
I’ve sown, oh, oh/seeds I’ve sown,
oh, oh/sceds I’ve sown.”
By the lime the end of side A is
reached, the listener is probably
asleep. IT the other songs haven't
done the trick, “All You Want is
Everything” will do it.
It has a nice piano start with a
couple oTstrategically placed guitar
thrashes. To make things more excit
ing, the band doesn’t repeal the title
excessively, but you almost wish
they would so you could tell what
they’re singing.
Side B is a little more upbeat than
side A. The first song, “The Howl
ing,” is a haunting song with a
moody bass. It sounds frighteningly
like Foreigner’s “Girl On The
Moon.”
After “The Howling” the rest
sounds the same. The songs are a
little more upbeat and consistent
than side A.
However, side A doesn’t give one
a headache as much as side B does
from the constant repetil ion of music
patterns. Once again, the band
proves its talent with singing rcpcli
tiously the title words. Consider
them the Village people of rock.
The album may be appealing to
those who do like rock with a bit of
country twang. It would’ve been
good if the band’s style had stayed
consistent, rather than starting hard
and ending mushy. Two songs in a
field of ten aren’t enough to make an
album.
The album is printed: “This rec
ord is intended to be played loud.”
But don’t waste your cars on music
that doesn’t really do damage.
FOR SALE
19* Maonavox. work* flroat $80. 23" Quasar. $60. 19
Admiral; 545. 487-5189 _
For sale; Hide a-bed oouch and two recliners. Good
condition. Cheap 476-1606. _
Drafting table; portable, parallel bar, light, stool, 30 x 42. .
Call 475-9700, Beth 8-Spm.
*
i
/
Manual typewriter ribbon* 53 cent* each (tax included),.
Daily Nebraskan office, basement of the Nebraska Union.
472-2588.
Bianchi Mountain Bike. red. 20" flood condition. Must self
cheap 476-1606, 473-7383.
UNCOLN POLICE DEPARTMENT
NOTICE OF SALE
ON UNCLAIMED BICYCLES
AND UNCLAIMED PROPERTY
December 3,10 a.m.
At Lincoln Land Towing. 410 West P Street, by the
properly diversion. No chocks accepted.
Manual typewriter ribbon* S3 cent* each (tax inclu'
O.uly Nebra*kanohice,ba*ementoltheNebra*kaL
472 2S88.
VEHICLES FOR SALE