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About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (Nov. 22, 1988)
Reviewer suggests R.E.M.’s ‘Green’ would be better retitled ‘Gangrene’ GREEN from Page 7 Combined with the tasteful use ot simple piano, the result is a good, solid R.E.M. song, the only listenable part of the album. Granted, in the middle parts, when the pedal steel and cello kick in, and Stipe sings “Reach out for me, hold me tight,” things get a little hokey. A little hokeyness is a welcome pres ence amidst the stink of dying ani mals. I All relative comparisons aside, though, “World Leader Pretend” is a good song, one of the best this band has put together in a while. Unfortunately, the rest of the al bum gets no better than bad. If R.E.M. really wishes to pursue this musical style, they ought to do two things: Hire a fleet of professional songwrit ers, and hire a group of professional musicians to play the songs written by the songwriters. We would undoubtedly be pro vided with better music, and the band members could concentrate on photo sessions, album design and appear ances on Rockline. Given the overall sound of the album, and the stage it represents in the career of R .E. M. (not as a success ful pop band, but as a musical entity), this album would more appropriately be titled “Gangrene.” Buying Somethir Give Us a Call. MSj At the Comhusker Better Business Bureau, we would like to help students make wise buying decisions. UNI, students are a large consumer market from which many businesses benefit. Although most businesses are honest and ethical, some use desceptive practices and take advantage of the uninformed consumer. "If you don't know your merchandise, know your merchant. If you don't know your merchant, call your Better Business Bureau." The Better Business Bureau has a variety of pamphlets on numerous products and services and all at no charge. So, with the holiday season fast approaching us stop by or call our office and make your buying decision a good one. The Comhusker Better Bureau phone lines are open from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday thru Friday. Give us a call at 467-5261. CORNHUSKER BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU 719 No. 48th Street, Lincoln, NE 68504 467-5261 ~~ -Business and Consumer Information _—— Reports on Local and Investigating National and Reporting Companies Fraud Reports on . , Charitable Advertising Organizations Review ----- Mediation of I f * ^ - ' Complaints | * rbitration " - — - --- — - Consumers and businesses can help support the BBB by contributions to the Cornbusker BBB Foundation. jest 467-5261 I This advert I sc men I brought to you by the companies that support the Better Business ljfjNRi They have sponsored this advertisement in the publk- Interest, The BBU docs not recommend og^Horsc any company, product or service. . . : .. ; : \ >■*.} ■ , ; . . • .. • •uvo/v.t <lt; Krii mnkil .'.tsWui a/.Ui* v a l ,ii itwi* ui ^ 5 Andy Manhart/Oaily Nebraskan Kinder nation needs a kinder Thanksgiving By Trevor McArthur Staff Humorist I’m sure you’ve heard by now. Since the big Bushman won the big contest, it’s a kinder and gentler na tion we live in. KSt55E_^ You can Icel it in the air. A gentle breeze now blows from the cast eve ryday (but fortunately not past that smelly Boston Harbor). Everyone has a smile on their face, lions and lambs are laying down together, hardened criminals are repenting. Even Willie Horton is sorry (but his chances for parole arc now listed as even slim mer). It’s going to be a great four years. It should be a span of time we’ll all be able to kick back and cruise through. Just sleep-walk, ask no questions and consume plenty of products, and we’ll all get through fine. The Thanksgiving holiday is al most upon us. This should be the first real test of our new kindness. The holiday really celebrates our roots in kindness. It commemorates the meal at which our Pilgrim forefa thers, who came to this country to find freedom to religiously persecute, thanked the natives who were so kind to them in helping them adapt to the land So thankful were the Pilgrims that they decided not to run the natives out — not lor a while anyway. To help reform and bring to this nation a proposed New Kindness program (like the New Deal and Great Society before it), I’m going to ask all of you not to eat any turkeys this Thanksgiving Holiday. I realize this seems like it would take some of the spark out of the traditional get-together, or at least some of the tradition. But should we mercilessly slaughter animals for our own selfish fun? No! Refrain from eating a turkey, please, unless the beast died a natural death. I hey taste a little bit odd this way. But with the right combination of spices, the bird can have an interest ing pungency. Be sure to carry a sack with you in your car because you never know when you'll run across one. Lancaster county turkey farmer Bob Gog has said he has noticed the number ol turkey deaths has risen considerably recently, especially auto related deaths. “A lot of people have been losing control pf their cars and hitting them,” says Gog. “They claim the birds just jump in front of them, but don’t really explain why they were on my land at the lime. Some of these big American cars can take out a whole row of birds . .M’vcMdlo repa i r fTVeTo he e*se vcYiiT times every day.” Those wanting a rounder, plumper, less Hat turkey will be happy to know there is a turkey virus in the air. But I would recommend a penicillin cheese as the hors d’ocurvres. Here is a list of five other top factors contributing to turkey mortal ity, for those who would have a tradi tional, but kind, dinner: •Emphysema (tied to smoking). •Boating accidents. •Wolves (kind of messes them up though). •Heart failure due to cocaine use. •The Satanic underground. Thanksgiving can be a cruel holi day, but there’s no reason we can’t make other aspects kinder and gentler as well. The traditional Thanksgiving Day football games need not be elimi nated. This may be a gentler nation, but it’s hardly a genteel nation. Politeness is in order, though. Players are now required to say things like “excuse me” or “pardon” before and after any rough physical contact. If a player politely asks to have his way cleared, the other team is strongly encouraged to think how they would want to be treated. Booing is out. Rude behavior is unbecoming of mature men and women, especially in an environment of higher education. Booing also dis courages those courageous young men on the field trying their goshed damed hardest. And neither should we have UK) loud and boisterous displays of gloat ing. When one team wins, the other loses. Let’s think about the losers. After we win, let’s give them all a big cheer before leaving the stadium. No wait! Even better. L.ct’s initiate warm physical contact. Everybody, hug an Oklahoman! Finally I’ve heard lots of specula tion that President George, though he may have two right hands, will not be much help to the Contra rebels. I don’t think there’s any reason to stop funding them just because we’re kinder. Let’s juslaid them w ith kinder supplies. We certainly can’t abandon them out of politeness. So let’s send them annoyance munitions. Bus sized woopiecushionsarca good one. A lot ol toilet tissue to TP Sandimsta bases, lake doggie d(K)-doo and plastic vomit to put in public squares also would work. They ’ll have the Sandin istas begging for negotiations. A lirst step should be to send them a I hanksgiving dinner. Airdrop some turkeys. That s a guilt-tree meal because they d be live birds when thrown out the back of the C-135s. But if there’s one thing TV has taught me, it’s that ' TiifReyS'Cctn’f fly....
