w — — J
Blasted, preserved, creamed, toasted, pureed, jelled
BARS from Page 11
strings and bouncing breasts. When
one of the girls starts to swing back
and forth on the jungle gym bar at the
front of the strobe-lit strip stage, you
feel like you’ve stepped onto the set
of a Fellini film.
The Night Before is an equal -
opportunity strip-joint too. Last year,
they actually featured a one-legged
stripper. And at the back of the stage
is an electronic sign that flashes bad
cocktail-party jokes for people who
get dizzy looking at wobbling mam
maries.
There’s usually no cover charge
and the drinks arc reasonably priced,
but there’s one catch: No touching
the girls, please. If you want to tip the
one-legged stripper, you’ll have to
hand the money to her.
The girls range in looks from
Barbie-doll cute to lady-wrestler
rough. But what about breast size? A
good strip joint has to have a good
number of large breasts to be success
ful — and this place certainly does.
“Bosomania” film director Russ
Meyer would approve.
So if you’re in the mood for sexist
carnality, leave the Rita Mac Brown
books at home and get down to see the
one-legged stripper. The Night
Before’s eccentricities make it the
best burlesque house in Lincoln.
— Scott Harrah
Celebration
Gold’s Galleria, lower level
It’s actually more fun to watch
people entering Celebration than to
go there. Why, you ask? Everyone
knows the type of bar Celebration is:
a top40, neon-lit breeding ground for
yuppies. So if you’re not into that
scene, stand inside Gold’s Galleria
and watch the swinging singlescnter
ing Celebration’s golden gates.
Sights to sec outside of Celebra
tion:
Sec the bitchy businesswoman
with teased to-thc-nines hair apply
ing some red lip gloss that matches
her red leather mini dress and 5-inch
stiletto heels.
Sec Joe Stud ga/ing at his reflec
tion in the Rolcx watch he wears. Is
that a hair out of place?
Sec the Pat Benatar look-alike
adjusting the headband on her head.
Deftly, she reaches into her purse and
pulls out a compact. She licks her
lips. She looks fabulous. Maybe
she’ll get a man tonight who actually
thinks she is Pat Benatar. Perhaps he
won’t even notice her headband went
out of style eight years ago.
Sec the macho stockbroker in the
black wool Armani suit. Look, he’s
scratching his head. Look, the Pal
Benatar clone is staring at him. She’s
obsessed, but he didn ’ tusc that sham
poo. He’s not for her.
Then, just for a moment, follow
them inside to watch them deliver
mating calls. Sec them put their
hands on their hearts as the DJ spins
“Bom in the USA. ’
But please, whatever you do,
don’t make fun of them. They’re
entitled to a little Celebration, too.
— Scott Ilarrah
The Royal (Jrove
340 W. Cornhusker Highway
It’s far, far too easy to make fun of
the Grove. You’ve heard the stories:
“It’s a meat market,” “It’s a biker
joint,” “It used to be a biker joint, now
it’s just a meal market.”
Well, so what?
If anything, the Grove is always
good for a laugh. Yes, you’ll sec a
wide spectrum of trailer-court dregs
and bikers, but that’s half the lun ol
going to the Grove. Why not look at
what else the Grove has:
Attraction No. 1: Amateur Strip
Night.
Every Wednesday, both men and
women arc invited to come on stage
and “take it off' while the cover band
of the night chums out bad AC/DC
and Motley Cruc songs. Sometimes
the judging takes longer than the
stripping. “Can we sec that again
once more — 1 couldn’t hear the
applause,” judges will say. So the
strippers will be forced to flash their
unmentionables at the drunken audi
ence again and again, hoping they
just might win that S100 if they give
it to ‘cm once more.
Attraction No. 2: Bands.
Yes, boys and girls, real bands —
classic musicians like Wendy O.
Williams and has-beens like Molly
Hatchet.
Attraction No. 3: Nude sunbath
ing at the swimming pool.
— Scott Harrah
ASUN & Student
Information Center
Presents
Renter’s Seminar
April 21 1-4 pm
Nebraska Union
1:30 Shelley Stall-Student Legal Services
Legal Aspects ol Renting
2:00 Anne Wood-Apartment Finders
Tenant Landlord Responsibilities
2:30 Maurice Egan-M.C Egan Insurance
Tenant Insurance-Pros A Cons
J 00 Shelley Stall-Student Legal Services
Legal Aspects ot Renting
3:30 Maurice Egan-M.C. Egan Insurance
Tenant Insurance-Pros A Cons
Also visit booths on Security,
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