The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current, February 09, 1988, WEDDING SUPPLEMENT, Page 15, Image 23

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    Modern options ’
Singles in Lincoln bar explain why I
they are planning to say 6I don’t’
By Joeth Zucco
Senior Hditor___
This is a true story. Only the last
names have been omitted to protect
the identities of the sources.
Marriage would appear to be one
of the most sacred things in our soci
ety, but not everyone feels that way.
Some see marriage as an infringe
ment on their independence, while
others see it as corruption. Some
don’t see it at all.
Lee Kimmins, assistant professor
of human development and family at
the University of Nebraska- Lincoln,
said there are more opportunities
outside marriage for women today
than ever before.
He said that from 1982 to 1984
more than half of all college students
were women.
“Women are less anxious to get
married,” Kimmins said.
From the man’s point of view,
economic factors play a part, and “it’s
harder for men to get established,” he
Kimmins said monogamy is “in,”
especially with age.
“A monogamous relationship is
the most desirable way to get emo
tional and psychological needs met,”
he said.
According to the 1986 Vital Sta
tistics Report from the Nebraska
Department of Health, the average
age for women to marry is 22 and the
average age for men is 23 — after an
eight-year trend of 22.
After talking to Kimmins, 1 de
cided to do my own survey in a place
where marriage may not be so re
vered, so sacred — a local bar. My
main goal was to find people who
didn’t want to get married, and I was
successful. During an evening in a
local bar asking people why they
didn't want to get married, I found
some interesting reasons.
Why don’t you want to get mar
Kathy, 21, University of Ne
braska-Lincoln general studies ma
jor: “Maybe when I’m 40, ‘cause
there’s too many things I want to do
and ‘cause I’m American. You can’t
get married till you’re responsible,
and I’m really irresponsible right
Randy, 26, UNL biology major:
“Not till I’m 30or 35, ‘cause by then
1 11 probably have done everything I
want. There’s a few more things I
want to do — personal goals. I want
to get a little more of this wi Idness out
of me. Maybe then I’ll be a little more
substantial, have a job, be able to take
care of someone.”
Sargon, 28, UNL employee: “I’m
an alcoholic and I don’t want to pass
my traits onto someone else. Mar
riage is just, like, squaresville. The
things I like to do can’t be done in
marriage, like drink all night and
sleep all day. It’s only for my great
love of women that I avoid them.”
Arthur, 36, computer analyst: “I
don’t think I can, because I’m a little
selfish and I don’t want to inflict that
on someone else. It’s reflcctiveof our
time and era.”
Brent, 24, UNL general studies
major: “I’m loo independent right
now. It’s subject to change, though. I
can't deal with all the freedom taken
away and the jealousy. But I do be
lieve in monogamy and like being
Beth, 22, UNL film and photogra
phy major: “I don’t want to depend on
someone else, and I don’t want some
one else to depend on me. Thai’s
what that piece of paper means —
you depend on them.”
Jim, 23, UNL international rela
tions major: “When my father died,
he said in his w ill that if I don’t get
married by the time I’m 40, I’ll get
more money.”
Doug, 23, groundskeeper: “It’s
too stable. Stability causes corrup
tion. I don’t even want a girlfriend. I
can't commit to anything.”
Although all the people I spoke to
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said they didn’t want to get married
now, some foresaw it in their futures.
Sara, 21, UNL English major:
“I’ll probably get married in my late
20s when I can’t support myself and
have a warm bed, and he has to be a
good cook.”
Brent: “Odds that I will, but I don’t
know what they are. I don’t even
know if I believe in marriage. I don’t
see why you even have to have it on
paper.” •
Beth: “Yes, I might. I want a
Is marriage as an institution in our
society getting better or worse?
Sara: “It’s changing; it’s being
taken serious.”
Randy: “I think it’s coming back
to more of an institution because of
the different diseases coming around
like AIDS. People are waiting to
make more of a meaningful relation
ship. They aren’t jumping from bed
to bed like in the ’70s.”
Clay, 29, UNL photography ma
John Bruce/Daily Nebraskan
jor: It should be an agreeable con
tract. It’s taken for granted. There’s
no trust, just greediness.”
Sargon: “I think it should be abol
ished. It shouldn’t be a legal institu
tion, it should be a personal commit
ment. I’m not rich enough to get
married because I’m not rich enough
to be divorced.”
Arthur: “It has to be sacred.”
Beth: “As an institution, society is
built around it. A lot of people are
still getting married. They re taking
it seriously.”
Doug: ‘‘It’s gotten better in the last
two years, and we’re going through
the second baby boom.”
From the people I talked to, it
seems that people want to live for
themselves before living for some
one else. Although marriage is sacred
in a religious sense and a societal
sense, it has to be for the right people
at the right time.
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