Old movies getting ’scared off’ Lincoln airwaves
1 he Glassy
Eye
By Dave
Meile
Local TV, including cable
channels, has grown progressively
worse as of late. The USA network
(channel 17) shows the same menu
of films that they ran last year, and
WOWT (channel 6) in Omaha is
discontinuing its Friday and Satur
day late-night schedule of old
movies (beware of the “Dukes of
Hazzard” invading!). At this point
the only real forum for your zany,
wacky, “pyschotronic” films ap
pears to be video. Here’s a sam
pling.
“Attack of the 50-Foot
Woman” (1958) Allison Hayes.
This landmark feminist/gigan
tic alcoholic flick is a real crowd
pleaser. Allison Hayes is just a
typical run-of-the-mill, soused
millionaire until a giant alien lands
in an enlarged-Christmas-oma
ment spaceship and with a mere
touch of his gargantuan inflatable
hand prop . . . makes her drink
more. Her two-timing, no-good
husband Harry won’t believe her
frightening tale, so she guzzles
several more stiff martinis. The
local TV newscaster teases her
(broadcasting was wacky back
then!), so she does an Elvis imita
tion and trashes the Motorola.
Pretty soon she’s a 50-foot woman
who goes on a rampage through
town. She reaches through the roof
of the local watering hole and
wrings her husband’s neck before
trying unsuccessfully to limbo
with the obligatory high-voltage
telephone wires. Rotten special
effects, classic dialogue. Fans of
the horror genre remember the
incomparable Hayes for her work
in other fun junk like “Zombies of
Mora Tau,” “The Disembodied”
and “The Crawling Hand.”
“Film House Fever” (1986)
Written and directed by Dominic
Paris.
Yet another compilation pur
porting to be a collection of the best
of the worst films ever made, and
like its predecessors “It Came
From Hollywood”and television’s
“Canned Film Festival” from the
summer of ’86, the viewer must
wade through rather trying comedy
sketches before getting to the
point. In addition, a less hyper
editor and a broader base of films
would have been nice, as Paris
relies heavily on thecatalog of gore
godfather Herschel Gordon Lewis
(“2,000 Maniacs,” “Color Me
Blood Red”) and trash king A1
Adamson (“Dracula vs. Franken
stein,” “Vampire Men of the Lost
Planet,” “Man with the Synthetic
Brain”). Only the truly obsessed
will be interested in clips from
hilarious early nudic films and
assorted juvenile delinquent junk.
At a scant60 minutes running time,
it’s hardly a good deal. Rent at your
own risk. Available at Audio-Vis
ual at 33rd Street and Leighton
Avenue.
“The Toxic Avenger” (1986)
Andree Maranda, Mitchell Co
hen.
In the town of Tromaville, New
York (“Tromaville — The Toxic
Waste Capital of America” reads
the welcome sign) lives Melvin, a
little tweek who earns his green
backs mopping up sweat and spit at
the Tromaville Health Club. Little
Melvin is constantly tormented by
all the hunks and babes, and Julie,
the resident bimbo, offers Melvin a
tryst in the club pool if he just dons
a pink tutu. But it’s all a cruel joke.
Everyone at the club is there to
humiliate poor Melvin. Mortified,
he runs screaming out of the club
and swan-dives into a barrel of
toxic waste. Whammo, America’s
latest crime fighter — The Toxic
Avenger. Amateurish acting and
moronic humor highlight this gore
comedy, which would easily
achieve drive-in immortality if
there were any drive-ins left in
America. Available at Audio-Vis
ual, 33rd Street and Leighton
Avenue. Itairson Showtime (chan
nel 27) Thursday at 2:10 a.m.
“Stranger on the Third Floor”
(1940) Peter Lorre, John
McGuire.
Film noir, a school or style of
filmmaking which gained promi
nence in the ’40s, is difficult to
describe in specific terms. But
Tom Flinn in “King of the B’s”
says film noir, like shoulder pads,
wedgies and zoot suits, was an
essential part of the ’40s outlook. A
cinematic style forged in the fires
of war, exile and disillusion; a
melodramatic reflection for a
world gone mad. Think of para
noia, pessimism and fate, and
you ’ ve got an idea of what film noir
is all about.
The proprietor of an all-night
beanery is found with his throat
cut. The eye-witness testimony of
hot-shot reporter Michael Ward
(John McGuire) convicts lowly ex
con Elisha Cook Jr. in a circus of a
trial. Later, the reporter’s nosey
neighbor is killed in similar fash
See GLASSY on 11
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