\ Insipid "Pick-Up Artist is worth turning down
By Geoff McMurtry
Staff Reporter
“The Pick-Up Artist,” (Dou
glas III, 5:15, 7:15, and 9:15
pm.)
Molly Ringwald was one film
away from major superstardom.
Robert Downey was one or two big
roles away from nationwide name
recognition. Dennis Hopper was a
respected cult figure. Writer/director
James Toback, cinematographer Gor
don Willis and most of the crew were
well-known and rcpected in the film
industry for the work they’ve done.
Movie Review
If “The Pick-Up Artist” doesn’t
close soon around the country, that’s
all over with.
Aside from a lame premise, lacka
daisical direction, and a limp, aimless
plot, this tilm had a lot going for it.
Excellent acting, and....uh, well,
Dennis Hopper.
Robert Downey is Jack Jericho, a
guy who spends every waking mo
ment thinking up slobbering and
superficial pick-up lines to try out on
each and every reasonably good-look
ing temale he encounters during the
course of his average day. In his spare
time, he s a grade school gym teacher.
A success rate of one tor 30 or so
doesn't seem to faze him in the least,
so he scores about every day or two.
One of these simple conquests is
Randy (Molly Ringwald), who holds
out for several seconds before giving
in. However, (amazing surprise plot
twist) she won’t give him her phone
number for his list, so he still pursues
her alter the fact. It also turns out her
drunk father, the famous ex-gambler
(Dennis Hopper), owes the Mafia
loads and loads of money (yet another
amazing plot twist, and dam near
original, too). She’s working double
shifts in her job as a museum tour
guide so she can donate the extra
money to her local off-track betting
service in a vain, honorable and
myopic effort to save Dad’s miserable
existence.
Along the way we get to see what a
great guy Jericho really is, caring for
his ancien t grandmother, and warning
her to beware of sleazy guys on the
make. That is, we get to see what a
great guy he is when he’s not out
telling some girl she looks like an old
painting and has an “awesome name.”
We also get to go to Atlantic City,
N.J., and find out what a truly great
gambler Randy is, and, dam the plot
twists, Jack, too. Unfortunately for
the audience, this provides the con
flict that kept the film from ending
after 30 minutes.
Jack and Randy try to overcome
their attraction for each other, but they
can’t, and both are afraid they are just
too darn dangerous for each other.
“We’re both have too much gambler
in us,” one says. “Maybe you could
gamble on me,” says the other. “Let’s
trade lines and stretch this scene.”
says one or both or someone just
offscreen. Yup, a tour guide and a
gym teacher — radical gambling
loons.
If any of this sounds interesting at
all so far, I apologize.
“The Pick-Up Artist” bungles a
rather difficult premise, which al
ready has been done anyway. Most of
the central plot seems lifted from an
MTM Productions film of a few years
ago called “A Little Sex,” which was
infinitely superior to this. The sus
penseful climax is lifted from
Altman’s “California Split,” and
while not as technically interesting as
that film,’The Pick-Up Artist” does
manage to come off as being just as
meaningless.
“The Pick-Up Artist” is a fine
example of Hollywood formula
filmmaking at its worst.
The “message” of this film seems
to be that all men are untrustworthy,
irresponsible, worthless phlegm.
Downey’s character is a vacuous
sleazebag, Hopper’s is a helpless
drunk, and most of the others are
unthinking, ruthless thugs. On the bus
to Atlantic City, a woman eludes a
leering drunk, then tells Randy about
the varied abuses of her many hus
bands, boyfriends, etc. Randy asks
why she puts up with it, and she replies
that men arc fun to be around. Randy
ponders this, then agrees, but insists
they have no value beyond that.
While it would sound like a nice
twist to aim misogyny back at males,
and it may be true that men are irre
sponsible, worthless phlegm, this cel
luloid slagheap is far too insipid for
even the most adamant feminist to
bother with.
Any point Toback may have been
trying to make got lost long before
anyone else in the film realized what
it was.
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