Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About The daily Nebraskan. ([Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-current | View Entire Issue (March 12, 1987)
Thursday, March 12, 1987 Daily Nebraskan Page 7 ig . Age xfefx ri n ii&iiri i 1 By Scott Harrah Diversions The Beastie Boys are a highly marketable product of hype, self-promotion and '80s par ody. They've definitively ripped off black rap culture and turned it into something that white, beer-guzzling frat boys can relate to. Two or three years ago, the only places that rap music dominated the scene were black ghettos and a few trashed-out discos at about 4 a.m. But the Beastie Boys changed that. Rap music the.ant ithesis of music itself started as an angry hodgepodge of rhythm tracks, prerecorded noises and ridiculous rhyming nonsense churned out by down-in-the-dumps cretins trying to make no point at all. It was music created solely to break the monotony of urban life, an atonal alternative to the tepid, hypersexual pap that makes up most of what the electronic soul and disco subcultures have grooved to for years. So along came the Beastie Boys, three while boys from the suburbs of New York fed up with commercial limitations of the hard core they played when they first formed in 1979. They soon reformed and cut an EP, "Polly Wog Stew," an underground hit con sisting of a type of music they had never explored before: rap. But they still failed to receive recognition outside the independent label netherworld. Switch to 198b .. . "Licensed to 111," their second rap effort, starts selling millions of copies and they hastily make the transition from cult band to every high school and frat boy's drinking-buddy fantasy. And the song that put them in such a place, "Fight For the Right to Party," wasn't even a rap song. It was based on the underpinnings of that other sophomoric staple of teendom: heavy metal. Boys and girls, some Beastie Boy trivia before we go any further in this lesson about their brilliant careers: True or false: 1. The Beasties don't play rap. "Fight For the Right to Party" is a sample of their music in general. They sing all kinds of songs about Mom throwing away "your best porno mag.1' 2. Ad-Rock (Adam Horowitz's stage name) is really the son of playwright Israel Horowitz. 3. Spuds McKenzie is really MCA's childhood pet and Robin Leach is really his secret half-uncle. 4. Molly Ringwald is Ad-Rock's secret gal pal and the two have been seen performing unmentionable acts of romance in posh New York clubs. 5. Mike D. wears a Volkswagen logo on a chain because the German car company paid him mucho dinero to be their personal "spokesdude" so all the Beastie boy fans would decide Volkswagens are cool cars because "hey, that Beastie dude must like em! 6. The Beastie Boys won $40,000 in a lawsuit against British Airways because the airline used part of the Beasties' old song "Cookie Puss" in a commercial. 7. Latin lounge lizard Julio Iglesias had a tremendous influence on the Beasties. 8. MCA and Ad-Rock once assaulted Charo backstage in San Juan, Puerto Rico, because she wouldn't give them a taste of a papaya she was eating. "Go find chor own papaya," she hissed. 9. The Beastie Boys recently told a Spin mag azine reporter that they really dig girls with inclinations toward snowmobiles. 10. The original title of "Licensed to 111" was supposed to be "Don't Be a Faggot." Answers: 1. False! False! False! You've only heard one Beastie Boys song, and I'll bet you either saw it on MTV or your frat house played it one night on the K-Tel "Hot Hits" compilation. 2. True. Sources say that deep down, Addy Boy is a sensitive soul just like his thespian daddy. 3. False. Spuds is above plebians like those crass Beasties. 4. True, according to Village Voice gossip columnist Michael Musto. 5. False. If you believed that one, you really are a stereotypical frat. 6. True, according to Spin magazine. But although British Airways rooked them they still like the Brits. They especially fancy Samantha "Touch Me" Fox. 7. True, according to Spin once again. Julio's rendition of "To All the Girls I've Loved Before" is considered an amoral, touch ing tribute to flaming heterosexuality in the Brian MaryDiversions Beasties' eyes. 8. False. Charo actually assaulted me when she found out 1 lied and told her that 1 was Carmen Miranda's illegitimate granddaugh ter just so I could meet her. She apologized when I explained that I was really Shirley MacLaine in a future life. 9. True. They reportedly love hot babes who like to move quickly through lots of white stuff. 10. True, according to Rolling Stone. They say they're not into sissy stuff. They even think gourmet food is for the poofs. Ad-Rock once said that their idea of a good, macho meal is a bagel covered with Cap'n Crunch and a side order of pistachio paste. So what else do you want to know, dudes and babes? The Beasties are walking parodies of themselves and the ridiculous mainstream culture that has decided to embrace them. They're completely obnoxious, beer-swilling, skirt-chasing, fag-bashing schlocksters out making a buck by making fun of everything about today's vacuous youth culture. Mainstream America is a worm they know well. They've opened for Madonna, they're planning to interview nubile coeds at Day tona Beach during spring break, and they're coming to your town Sunday night at Persh ing Auditorium at 7:30 p.m. Fishbone and Murphy's Law will open. Call 471-7500 for ticket information and get down to the show Sunday. After all, the Beasties are, as always, playing a joke . . . only this time it's on you, boys and girls.