Daily Nebraskan
Page 5
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Friday, February 20, 1987
By Kip Fry
Staff Reporter
Rollin Schniedcr deals with death
every day. But his work may help save
lives in the future.
Schnieder, a UNL extension safety
specialist, has kept track of farm
related deaths in Nebraska cn a com
puter since 19G9..IIis information comes
in handy for many people.
Schnieder said he receives calls
from all over the country because he is
one of the few people who collect
information on farm deaths. At one
time as many as eight people recorded
the information, but because of budget
cuts in various programs over the years,
Schnieder is the only one remaining.
"No other state saves statistics like
Nebraska," he said. "Other states just
never have taken the time to collect
them."
Numerous people and companies
use his statistics of the type of acci
dent, age, sex and name of the victim,
he said.
"We can go back and tell manufac
turers they've got a problem," Schnieder
said. His information has helped solve
a problem with tractor hydraulic brakes.
He also was influential in getting roll
over protection developed for tractors,
he said.
Recently, a teenage girl from Platte
County writing a paper on deaths of
people aged 15 and younger called
Schnieder. Within minutes, Schnieder
told her that approximately 20 percent
of all farm-related deaths since 1969
involved people in that age range.
Since 19G9, Schnieder has recorded
741 deaths. In 1986, 36 died.
Schnieder said he is able to find
"problem areas" that need farm-safety
programs. One area in need of help is
Hamilton County, which led the state
last year with five such deaths, he said.
The most common causes of farm
related deaths, Schnieder said, are
tractor overturns, falling or being thrown
from tractors, crushings and electrocu
tions. Accidents also can involve ani
als, cornpickers, motor vehicles, balers,
falling objections and suffocation.
"The majority of tractor-overturn
deaths involve older, male operators
driving older-model tractors not e
quipped with rollover protective struc
tures," Schnieder said. "To date, there
have been no fatalities in overturns
where the protective structure is in
place."
Deaths from crushing have become
more common in the past seven or
eight years, due in large part to the
increased size of machinery and
equipment. They can be caused by
things like cattle gates or wagons fal
ling on them. Crushings are now almost
as common as deaths by tractor over
turns, he said.
While Schnieder docs not work spe
cifically with farm suicide statistics,
he says that some accidents are suspi
cious. It is evident that some people
have committed suicide, he said, and
made it look like an accident to collect
insurance money.
The number of deaths per year have
gone down dramatically since Schnieder
started and there were often CO deaths
per year. Druing the 1980s, Schnieder
said, usually about 30 people a year
have died in farm accidents, although
one year it dipped as low as 23.
Schnieder also helped put together
a slide show called "Safe Storage and
Handling of Grain," which is available
from the Nebraska Cooperative Exten
sion Service.
Short
ONoted chemist Charles Overberger,
professor and director of the Macromo
lecular Research Center at the Univer
sity of Michigan, Ann Arbor, will be
guest lecturer at the UNL Chapter of
Phi Beta Kappa scholastic honorary
society at 7:30 p.m. tonight at the
Nebraska Center.
OSara Bentley, publisher of the
Fremont Tribune, will be guest lecturer
at the College-of Journalism at 9:30
a.m. today. Bentley will speak in the
Avery Hall reading room.
Ballet and vodka or Vanna White?
MARRAM frorrt Page 4
Japs chow down on."
"No sushi bars?" one Russkie asked.
towelheaded nations of Iran and Saudi "Sushi bars are part of "the red Araer
Arabia. And most of all, ray green-faced ika, aren't they?"
friend, make "American successfully "No sushi in my Amerika," he rep
invade the Russkies." lied. "Until Tupperware comes out with
The space alien had granted all of a container for sushi, you won't b eat-
what freedom and your friend Jesus has
done. Come on up here and tell us
about it, comrades. Er, I mean,
Amerikans."
An old woman walked up to Tammy
Faye. "I have seen the light," she said.
"I was almost skin and bones, subsist-
Ed's wishes. Now I was in Red Square ing any. I like Tupperware, a real Amer- fog 0n beet soup. And my little Ivan was
in & AonAui tiri Y X? A U e im n itnn -w4ti 1 . . a l . 11 il i.
in Moscow with Ed. He stood up on a
platform, telling all the Russkies he
was their new leader.
"We shall call this country the Uni
ted Russkie States of Ed Anger's Amer-
cute little furry caps. "That's Amerika
with a 'k,' just so it'll separate this
country from the real America And
from this day on, I hereby outlaw vodka.
ican product
And so all the Russkies went home
and poured all their vodka and cans of
beet soup down the drain in their
Russkie sinks. They exchanged their
ica," he told the mob of fans in their furry little caps for seed caps and cow
boy hats. They started listening to
Hank Williams and began watching
"Wheel of Fortune" on TV because
President Anger made all the networks
From now on, you'll all drink beer, an stop showing famous Russkie ballet.
American drink. And I'm going to out- "No more ballet," he told TV sta-
law any loud, obnoxious rock music, tions. "In my Amerika, we shall not be Tupperware locks in freshness when I
You'll listen to real music only, country subjected to watching sissies prance made extra potato pancakes and need
music. And you'll tear down all those around in tights." to freeze some for later."
Ed Anger also brought religion to the "And honey, don't you look lovely
godless Russkies. "PTL Club" became with eyelashes by Cover Girl," Tammy
the top-rated show, and Jim and Tammy Faye squealed.
Faye Bakker built Heritage URSEAA on Tammy Faye smoothed out the wrin-
the outskirts of Moscow. kles in her sequined American flag
1 Say nyet, nyet, nyet to Satan,
honeys,' Tammy Faye told the born-
onion-domed buildings because you
need to learn about real American
architecture condos."
"But comrade Anger ..." one Russ
kie protested.
"That's another thing," he replied.
"You will not call your fellow man,
'comrade.' It sounds like something a again Russkie Christians the day Pres-
sissy would say." He adopted the tone
of his wife's hairdresser, Mr. Tim. 'Oh,
comrade, would you pajnt my toenails, i
comrade.' No. You will call your fellow
man anything but comrade."
ident Anger cut the red, white and blue
ribbon at Heritage URSEAA's opening Faye announced. "It's called 'I Cruel
ceremony.
) "I'm so glad all this has happened,"
President Anger said to Tammy Faye.
Ed gazed at all the heads adorned "Why, if it weren't for that wonderful
with furry little caps and suddenly ABC mimsenes, real godfearing, apple
became madder than a long-tailed cat pie-loving Americans would have never
in a room full of rocking chairs. known that it was important for us to
"And from now. on I hereby outlaw build up our power, load up our arse
little furry caps," he cried. "You'll only nals and conquer those Kremlin king
wear seed caps and cowboy hats, real pins."
American headgear." "I'm happy, too, Mr. President,"
His face turned Russkie red as he Tammy Faye cooed, batting her mas- her cheesy grin at the prez. "Oh, Presi
saw.a woman slurping down some beet cara-cake'd eyelashes. "These Russkie dent Anger, I'm so glad you made Eng
soup out in, the crowd. girls have seen what a difference Jesus fish the official language of the Russ-
"No more beet soup, he screamed, and real Amenkan freedom has made kies. I wasn t at all thrilled by the idea
for them. Now they re wearing my cos
metics and look'ng good for their
husbands."
Tammy Faye gazed out at the Russ
kie masses and started to cry. "Yes, see
"In my Amerika, you'll only eat real
food. Like McDonalds hamburgers, fro
zen chicken pot pies and other real
American food. None of that sissy
gourmet stuff like the French and the
of having to learn a new alphabet. How
would I know which letters to turn?"
Harrah is a senior English and speech
major and the Daily Nebraskan arts and
entertainment editor.
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becoming a sissy watching all that
ballet on TV. Then President Anger
took over our country, and now I'm
happy to say that I listen to Willie
Nelson, eat hamburgers, use Tupper
ware and read my Bible every night."
"And what about Ivan?" Tammy Faye
asked.
"Now he watches baseball on VVTBS
and wants to marry a girl just like
Vanna White," she said, fighting back
tears of joy. "And I've discovered how
J
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dress as a chorus, all sporting match
ing Stars and Stripes outfits, gathered
behind her.
"I'm gonna sing a little song," Tammy
fied Sin with My Hammer and Sickle,
Comrade Jesus.' "
'That's the name of the minushka
series Ted Turner's doing about our
new country, isn't it?" said the old
Russkie woman.
"Yes, and it will be in color, too."
Tammy Faye answered.
"Starring Vanna White and Bruce
Springsteen," added President Anger.
Vanna entered the scene and flashed
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