Thursday, February 12, 1987
Daily Nebraskan
Page 13
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Don be a sissy wear pink Spandex
HARRAH from Page 12
an estrogen binge and you have a
generic heavy-metal band. Sound
logical? Of course it does. But next
you've got to put them all in Span
dex, paint up their pusses like high
fashion models, add some songs
with lyrics about lookin' for "loose
chicks," and somehow splice in
some ludicrous satanic pretensions
to make everything seem "rebel
lious." Yeah.
Look at Ozzy Osbourne,.an ugly,
overweight middle-agedman who sells
records by biting the . heads off
doves and pretending that he's so
satanic and butch. In his "Shot
in the Dark" video, the Oz comes
out on stage in a flowing, sequined
gown and enough eyeliner to high
light the orbs of an entire sorority.
Is he gonna sing heavy metal or
break out into a torchy lip-sync ren
dition of Diana Ross's "Touch Me in
the Morning?" Naw. (toy's no drag queen.
He's a hot-rockin' satanist. Yeah.
Or how about that new band Poi
son? They sing songs with titles like
"Talk Dirty to Me." But on the cover
of their album, they hardly look like
all-American boys who want to give
it to some "loose babe." With their
high cheekbones, flowing blond
manes, heavy mascara and dramti
cally posed faces, they look more
like entrants in Teen magazine's
"Be a Cover Model Girl" contest.
And what about Judas Priest? I
used to like them when I was in high
school because all my friends said
they were cool. "They really rock,"
people told me. These were the
same friends who loved to make fun
of fags in San Francisco. Then one
day it dawned on me. My friends
were making fun of people who
dressed like the "hot-rockin' dudes"
in Judas Priest. With their leather
jackets, pants, policeman caps and
codpieces, the Priest boys looked
exactly like entrants in a San
Fransissy-co "Mr. Gay Leather U.SA"
pageant.
Boy George once said that David
Lee Roth is "just a drag queen with
a hairy chest and a crotch that's
insured by Lloyd's of London." But
he's more. He's a surfer version of
stoned, bikini-chasing Liberace.
When Dave puts on striped Spandex
tights, a silver lame halter top and
high-heeled pink boots, we think
nothing of it. But if your average
ail-American teenage heavy-metal
"dude" put on the same outfit, his
wrist's reputation would be ruined
for life. When Dave wears sequins
and eyeliner, however, all the "dudes"
say to themselves, "He's cool. He's
in a band. He gets to give it to
stacked babes. And he likes guitars."
Many of today's metal bands are
merely poor imitations of early 70s
glam rockers like David Bowie, T
Rex, the New York Dolls and Lou
Reed visually, that is. The glam
rockers in no way tried to justify
their Liberacesque looks by acting
macho. In fact, they did the oppo
site and went around saying they
were bisexual even if they weren't.
Metal has become so diverse now
that many bands are breaking out of
the genre's typical molds and
addressing issues with mc;e re
spectable connotations like nuclear
disarmament, peace and politics.
And some bands, like Stryper, are
singing about the opposite end of
the metal occult spectrum: Christian
ity. Yeah. That's right. Hot-rockin'
dudes singin' about Jesus. Yeah,
cool. But they don't dress like
women they swathe their cool
dude bods in bumblebee get-ups. I'm
still trying to figure out the psycho
logical interpretation of metal,
machismo and bees. Pollination,
perhaps?
tL' ' no Hit
February 26, 27, 28 at 8 PM and
February 28 at 3 PM Kimball Hall
(O danpnq i
If 2D
KM
TTTi
JTEIVATE LIVES m
Noel Coward's
of manners
February 12, 13, 14, 16, 17, 18,
19, 20,21, 1987 at 8 PM
HoweU Theatre